- 3 years ago
Just needed somewhere to vent, ladies. Thanks for listening!
FI and I recently moved 4 hours from our hometown. Before we moved, FI was our main source of income. I am in graduate school, so my income was limited. Especially after I got let go from my job due to lack of work available. Thankfully, I was able to earn unemployment. It didn’t pay much, but enough to cover some utility bills. So in our old situation, I was taking 14 graduate credit hours, had 16 hrs a week devoted to a practicum, and was also the president of our student organization, which took up about 5 hours a week. I couldn’t find a job no matter how hard I tried because I had such a wonky schedule.
Since I had more free time than FI, I would clean the house and make our meals. I would also clean up after dinner. I was also responsible for taking the dog to the park (we have a Boxer so a simple walk around the neighborhood was NOT enough). I also did our grocery shopping and errand running. FI was only responsible for mowing the grass (once a week, 6 months a year), picking up dog poop (once a week), and taking out the trash (once a week).
Now, our situation has reversed since we moved. I work full time (paid internship), FI is a student (undergraduate), and doesn’t work. He is taking 12 credit hours and only has class 4 days a week for 3-5 hours MAX on those days. Now I’m not saying his schooling isn’t something that should be taken lightly, however, it most certainly is not more difficult than graduate school. And he also has no outside school activities he has to worry about (student orgs, practicums, etc.). As an intern, I still have a research project, bi-weekly seminar attendance via skype, and “assignments” to worry about.
Every night (no joke) FI complains about the housework he has to do which turns into an argument. FI’s house chores: wash dishes nightly, take out the trash and pick up dog poop weekly. I continue to make dinner every night after work, I wake up at 5am every day to make sure I take the dog (and myself) on a run so he is wore out for the day, I clean the bathroom (FI has NEVER cleaned any of our bathrooms since we’ve been together), I vacuum, do the laundry, and tidy the house weekly. For example, last night I asked if the garbage needs to go out this morning. He got an attitude and said “I don’t need you to tell me when the garbage needs to go out. You could just take it out on your way out to work like I used to do when I had to get up”. Excuse me? I have to wear nice clothes to work, our new garbage can doesn’t have wheels or a lid. I’m not hauling that thing out to the curb in my nice, clean work clothes. He used to work for a tree service company so would always have crappy, oil stained, work clothes on. I ended the argument with “and you wonder why I’m such a b**** all the time”, because he’s been mentioning how crabby I’ve been lately.
He has 3 things to do around the house. And doesn’t work! AND he won’t look for a job on his own, I have to find jobs for him and email them to him. We’ve been in our new town for about 2 months now and I’ve sent him at least 25 prospective jobs. He actually applied for a job at a local restaurant (we’re chummy with the owner) and was supposed to call about it yesterday because it was their slowest day of the week and the owner was guaranteed to be there. Did he call? NO!! He’s also picky about what jobs he applies for because he “doesn’t want to work there”. At this point, he needs SOMETHING or we’ll fall behind on our bills.
UGH! Why are men such babies!