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I feel your pain. We have been dating for nearly 4 years in a LDR, although only 2 hours away. I'm currently finishing grad school and won't be done for another 2 years. We'll be living apart until I finish. I'm trying to do an excelerated program so that I can cut it down to 1 year but not sure how the job market will be after only 1 year. It's hard but I'm accepting that fact that we have to make these great sacrifices.
We will be. For sure. We're getting married in October and I dont finish student teaching until May. He's in the military, so he will be stationed in New Mexico while i'm in StL finishing up school. So, the first 7-8 months of our marriage will be a LDR.
I'm blessed to be able to live with my husband-to-be once we're married. I could never do what you ladies are doing! not seeing each other often our first year and a half of dating was hard enough.
We're not going to be LDR for the first bit, but there's the potential that he'll get an internship out of state for the summer. I thought that when he got out of the military that we'd be done with LDRs for the rest of our lives! LOL. It's not something that I'm looking forward to at all. In fact, I keep telling Lambster that if he is away for the summer that I'll be getting a dog to keep me company!
We spent the first 6 months LDR. Honestly, it's not any different than it was before...it's just the same except now you're legally married.
It sounds cliche, but you just do what you gotta do. It sucks, but I don't think it sucked anymore than it did pre-marriage, haha. Same ole same ole. Except you won't have wedding stuff to keep you busy....so you definitely need to find something.
It's really likely that we'll spend most of the first year of marriage apart. I'm a grad student and will need to spend a lot of next year abroad doing dissertation research, and he's not sure if he wants to/is financially able to move with me. In an ideal world, sure, but it's only about 30% probable right now. Getting married in July and moving to Paris in September.... :/
Yup. We will be for some of it. He's being deployed about a month after we're married. I'm just excited to finally marry the boy, so I'm okay with it this time around.
There's a good chance we will. Not too sure about it yet, because we haven't started planning. There's so much to think about. I could drop everything and move to him, but if he deploys a month later, it might not be worth it. So we may end up being a LDR for a while longer.
We are fortunate to be together, but I have three co-workers who have all spent 10+ years of their marriages seperated by a thousand miles (oddly, all are unrelated but all are Chicago-Boston arrangements). I only tell you this to reassure you because all of those people have managed to sustain their happy marriages for many years. They are all fairly independent people by nature so I suppose they are well-suited to it. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that it is possible to be in two places and have a wonderful marriage!
There is a slight possibility that we'll be LDR for the first few months after our wedding ceremony if there is a hold up with immigration! Ahhh... its annoying to not have control over, well anything regarding immigration.
I asked this same question about a year or so again (whether or not anyone was married and living apart) and NOBODY was, except me. Now, look at all these ladies doing it!
There's a possibility we'll spend the first 2 or 3 months apart. He has an internship he will have to do right after we get married, and I can go with him UNLESS I find a job right after I graduate, in which case I'll have to stay here without him. I'm dreading it. :-(
I've known several military couples who barely got a honeymoon before their hubby's deployment after their wedding. It's hard, but you keep it up just as before.
Personally, I think it would be harder to be separate after marriage than it was before though!
thank goodness, this is one hardship we will be spared!
I feel for those of you who endure it. You're strong women!
We're trying to avoid it. We are trying to wait to get engaged until he gets a job in my city. That being said, he has been job searching here for a loooooooong time and still has no prospects. I'm thankful that he has a job where he is, but can't wait for him to get here (or at least know when he will be here so we can plan a wedding). Planning the wedding is an option, but we really want to be able to live together when we are married so we're trying to hold off for a bit. Trying so hard to be patient. :)
Wow!!! I don't feel so alone anymore...I love this new board!
I am encouraged to hear that a lot of you ladies have done the living apart after marriage and even though it sucks, you make it work. The things we do for love! I should know within the next couple of weeks if I will have to stay another semester (or even year) in my graduate program so please pray for me (or send well wishes if you are not religious/spiritual)! :)
we will be living apart long enough for me to give notice at work and pack up/organize my house to move. Although I have a feeling that the FI is going to try his best to have me packed and moved the week after Christmas....LOL
We'll be doing it for a while - not sure how long. We know his job is going to transfer him sometime in the year after the wedding so we decided it doesn't make sense for me to try to look for a new job for just a few months - but when he gets transferred I'm going with him and I can't wait.
Our families look at us like we're crazy but we're just trying to be practical. We've been LDR for 5 years now - what's a few more months right?
I should find out in the next couple of weeks if I will be able to be with my FI after the wedding or have to stay here (grad school) for another year....I am really hoping that the decision comes soon so that at least I don't have to wonder!!!!!
nope, once we're married that's it, no more ldr. considering we spent our entire dating period ldr, we're really looking forward to it being done
I haven't, but FI's good friend and his wife did it- got married and spent the next two years separated on either side of the country while they both finished up school. I think it probably just takes a lot of faith and a lot of trust, but if those things are already there in your marriage then it can only make it stronger!
I don't know... my husband is applying to grad school and so we may be moving in the late summer. I haven't decided what to do if I can't find a job in the new city by the time we have to move, but I'm guessing I'll just quit this job and move with him anyway and hope for the best! I can't stand the idea of being LDR after marriage!!
I really love these posts. I really don't feel so alone. And some of the bees are right. It won't be that different except that we're legally married. And we'll just have to wait it out until I finish grad school.
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I was just wondering how many of you ladies will still be in a LDR after your wedding? I'm asking because there is a possibility that my FI and I will have to spend the first 9 months of our marriage long distance and I am NOT looking forward to beginning our marriage this way, but would rather be married to him than not.