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No end in sight?

posted 2 years ago in Long Distance Relationships

Member

571 posts

Busy bee

riley jane May 2011 Virginia

Hey gals,

My BF and I used to live in the same city and have now been in an LDR for over a year and a half. He's been looking for jobs in my city for over a year and hasn't even had an interview. Luckily he has a stable job where he is now, but it would be unlikely for me to get one there if I moved back. The plan is still for him to move to my city, but for now we're kind of stuck. We picked out the ring months ago and have an "ideal" date, but don't want to make any plans until we know we'll be able to live together once we're married. He feels the same way I do and we are able to support each other through it, but sometimes it is soooo hard to not know when we will finally be together for good.

Is anyone in an LDR with no end in sight? Or have you been? How did you cope?

2 years ago

Member

57 posts

Worker bee

MissSalsa December 31, 2010 Texas

I feel your pain. We have set a date 12/31/2010, but I sometimes wonder how things are going to come together for us to live together. Fi is in a PhD program in a small town. I run my own business about an hour south of where he is. I've been trying to get clients up there but it's going slowly and jobs are scarce. I'm keeping my fingers crossed about a couple of jobs i've applied for. We just try to make the best of the times we're together and keep faith that some how something is going to come along. It is really hard. Leaving is heartbreaking and we count down the days until we get to see each other again. It would be so much easier if we knew when we would get to be together. Maybe if you both look for jobs in the other's city and just see who gets one first. Unfortunately it's just a bad time to be looking for a job. I wish you lots of luck. Somehow something will work out. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

2 years ago

Member

474 posts

Helper bee

maggierose May 26, 2012

I've been in an LDR with my BF for over two years, and for a long time it was like that! We are in different countries - he has an amazing job where he is at, and logistically it would be a nightmare for him to get a work visa and a job here (much less one as good as he has); I have a job I love here, and would make considerably less working in his country.

We had originally planned on getting together in six months - I was going to do school there - but I loved my job and didn't want to leave it..we looked at options for him coming here....but it wasn't realistic. I was hesitant to go there without being engaged, but he wanted to live together before taking that next step - total catch 22! When I finally said I would move, he felt it wasn't the right time because he was getting relocated frequently in his job

Eventually I got to the point where I said we basically needed to take a poop or get off the pot :) We actually broke up (well for all of three weeks).....we got back together with a plan that the next time he got relocated, I would move, regardless. In October he got word of his next re-lo and asked me to move....and in June I am finally moving! It wasn't easy and there was no perfect solution - one of us had to sacrafice and it ended up being me. We'll make it work though, I am just os happy to be together. good luck!!!

2 years ago