Post # 1
I’m currently in a Long Distance Relationship due to choices my SO and I made about colleges and jobs and the like. It’s not a crazy distance but I don’t have the time or money for a 7 hr drive more than about once a month and my schedule’s about to get more hectic.
Because of these factors I find myself getting insanely jealous of a few girls I know who get to see their SOs all of the time. They get dates and flowers and all sorts of mush. I feel awful that I’m so judgemental but I find myself going “I’ve put in way more time in my relationship and I’ve been way more responsible and I’ve decided to plan on a future besides shitty jobs and pregnancies. Why am I getting the short end of the stick on this?” I get resentful of other girls and I find myself wishing that I could be them.
ANYWAY (sorry for the tiny rant, I’m a bit emotional)
Because of the years I know it’ll be like this and my teeny stress level about it, I’ve found myself wishing I could just marry my SO and just be with him every day like other girls get to. I miss waking up to him and running errands with him and getting to be his buddy. I know it’s a bit premature in my case (I wont have time to be a wife for a few more years yet), but I feel like the LDR downer is making me look into pushing up our wedding plans just so it’ll be over.
Now that I’m done with this Uber Post, I’m asking y’all Bees. Has anyone else caught themselves maybe thinking prematurely about new steps in their relationships because of the long distance?
Post # 4
YES. So sincerely that I had to use allcaps! Sometimes my heart asks my brain “why didn’t you just move across the country with him?? You’d be there RIGHT NOW!!” even though i know 100% that would have been the wrong choice for me. It’s so so so hard but in the end I think I’ll be happier having made this choice…even if i don’t get to be with him full-time for maybe 18 months. IT SUCKS but the good things in life are worth waiting for!
Post # 5
I feel like I understand what you’re trying to say. FI and I have been in a LDR for all almost 6.5 years of our relationship. He’s only a few hours away now, but between his work and school schedule and my work schedule, we only see each other once a month. I know that it we will be together one day and it really sucks to have to wait it out. But the thing is, YOU have to be prepared for the wait and know that your man is worth the wait. It isn’t easy to make a LDR work, but it is easy to make it fail.
Post # 6
I know what you’re saying. My FH and I have been dating for 4 years. We have dealt with long distance relationship most of our relationship. Now that I am a sophomore in college, it bugs me to see all the couples on campus. I do feel resentful towards other couples. My roommate tells me I’m just jealous, which I am, but it’s just SO FRUSTRATING! I seriously plan my wedding because I know we are getting engaged very soon and will be married once I am out of college in two years. FH and I do plan our wedding and are super excited to be together for the rest of our lives! 🙂
Post # 7
I have my days like anyone else. It’s hard work being in an ldr and we done it for our whole relationship. That being said some of your comments are kind of over the top, just because other people didn’t go on the same path as you doesn’t mean that they have “shitty jobs” and it’s a person choice to choose to have kids.
The major thing to do is stop comparing your relationship to theirs, it’s a completely separate thing and one has nothing to do with the others. Keep yourself busy. If you are truly can’t take anymore, then I think looking for work and taking steps together may be worth it.
I do feel being in ldr we tend to take each for less granted, and even when we get in tiffs or upset at each other we learned how not to be resentful or hold on it all day or week because out time together is so limited that we want it all to be positive.
Post # 8
Yes, DH and I were LDR due to my graduate school up until a month before our wedding. It was hard, but you have to be strong and not get jealous of other relationships. I knew DH and I had something stronger than some people I knew– we were so strong, we could choose to be apart because it benefited us both. (I knew a girl who posted on Twitter how much she missed her partner when she went to work everyday… she lived with him! It grated on my nerves so much when I only saw DH once or twice a month.) You may get the “short end” now, when you’re not getting chocolates or hugs everyday, but you’ll definitely be feeling great when you’re on the other side of the wedding. DH and I bought a house together immediately (when most of our other friends are renting) and now I see him everyday. All that time we put into this relationship was totally worth it because it helped us build what we have now.
I know it’s lonely, and it really does suck. But keep your eye on the prize and focus on yourself and your hobbies until it’s over! Planning did make me feel better because it felt like I was being proactive– I had to pick invites and call venues because we were getting married and that meant I’d get to be with DH!
Post # 9
@TwoCityBride: I didn’t mean it like that! I meant like fast food and not using protection because it’s “too much work” (it was a reference to some people I know). I didn’t mean to offend or be harsh, I’m just jealous, I guess.
Thanks for the support, you guys.