Post # 1
I have been in a long distance relationship for 2 years with 2 more years to go. We were together for about 2 years before we moved to separate cities, and now live a 8 hour plane trip away from each other. We have been talking engagment/marriage for a LONG time, and are very in love and super excited to start our lives together. We plan to get married when I graduate university in 2015.
In our first year apart I was dying to get engaged, even if it meant a long engagement because I thought it would help us feel closer and have that for sure promise of an engagement. I know that I don’t need a ring to know that we will be together forever, but getting engaged would make me the happiest person in the whole world (obviouisly!) Recently I have become less obsessed with getting engaged soon, and have kind of come to terms with the fact that it makes more sense to wait until closer to the desired wedding date.
Anyone in the same situation as I am? Or were you, and you got engaged even though you had to spend the engagement time apart, and was it worth it?
Post # 3
I personally think that getting engaged has made the distance slightly easier for me, but only because it’s made me busier (with wedding planning). But at the end of the day, it’s still not enough to make me forget about the distance entirely or stop being sad every day that we’re not together. I wish we could spend our engagement days together, but we will get to spend the rest of forever together and that’s enough for me. 🙂
Post # 4
@ThatOneGirl9613: I totally agree with you there. Getting engaged made me less sad sometimes but at the same time I’m like “oh wow I wish I could show FI this.”
Post # 5
When I got engaged it kind of gave this sense of permanence. It was just enough to keep my head from falling off my shoulders. Being apart makes you crazy, it really does. It kind of helped. Because now all we talk about is how many kids we want to have and where we want to live eventually. You know, engaged people things. Gets you excited and makes waiting a bit more bearable.
Post # 6
It really has, I got engaged a week ago! My FI came to visit for a surprise and he left on wednesday, and even though I still miss him like crazy, It does make it easier. Much more so! We still have a year to go long distance but having a set commitment makes it seem mroe worth while, now don’t get me wrong, even if I hadnt I would have waited for him until the end of days because he’s the one, but having that ring on my finger, reminds me, that when things get rough, we are going through this for a reason, its something tangible to hold on to.
Post # 7
I got engaged during my LDR, and it ended up really changing my feelings about remaining in a LDR. Up until that point, I was content being not quite so serious, spending lots of time with friends, being super independent, etc. However, once that ring was on my finger, reality hit faster than I expected. About 2-3 months afterward, I ended up pushing for him to move to my city because my feelings were so strong that if we were getting married soon, we needed to live together first.
Long story short, for me, getting engaged did not make it easier. I think it makes more sense to wait until closer to the wedding date, and avoid the new feelings that being engaged might bring. Had my FI been less flexible about his career path, I’m afraid it might have been a wedge driving us apart during our engagement.
Post # 8
I think so, it give your relationship a purpose and clear direction as to where it is going. You become more committed to your partner and the feelings get stronger. When you are just dating there may be a committment but there is always a period when you have to decide is this what I really want? How does he feel? Does he see himself with me long term? All these questions are answered when you become engaged.
You sit down with your partner and decide how long the engagement will be. If you want children? If you want to buy a house before you have children? All these questions determine your future with your FI.
Any LDR sucks but knowing that the man I have waited my life for will be home for good makes it all worth it to me.
Post # 8
I am going through the same thing like you, what happened with you? I am curious because me and my girlfriend are the same thing as you guys
Post # 9
Yes and no. It gave a “new” period of a honeymoon kind of phase where both of us were just excited to get married. So that’s the more exciting part of being engaged is that you feel even more attached. It’s a little more difficult because when you’re planning the wedding and so forth, you want so badly for your SO to be there too. There’s a lot of different experiences that comes with it though!
Post # 10
paki4lyf: Hi there! I know this is an old post and you will likely never see this.. but hey why not reply. We ended up waiting, and did get engaged during the holiday break of the last year of my degree. So we spent about 5 months long distance as an engaged couple, but we weren’t planning the wedding yet. Just started planning when I moved. We will be married this fall, yay! In hindsight I am glad we didn’t have a super long engagement. If we got engaged when I wanted to as per the original post it would have been a 3+ year engagement.
Post # 11
katza: I at least read your reply and found your story to be very sweet. I do am in a long distance relationship and in those really down moments I find sometimes reading other peoples stories makes things that much easier. Hope you have a fantastic wedding 🙂
Post # 12
I know this is an old post, but my situation is currently very similar. I got engaged a couple weeks ago and we have two more years as a long distance couple. He is military and I am still in school. I graduate May of 2018 and we are planning the wedding for the weekend after my graduation. Seeing that you finally made it gives me hope that the time may pass faster than it feels. We can’t live together until we are married per the rules of the military, but we’re high school sweethearts and went to the same university for a year (living a 5 minute walk from each other). Congratulations on your engagement and wedding! If you have any advice for the next 2 years, please share!
Post # 13
I know this is an old post but I’ve been in a long distance relationship for 2 years (I’m from Hong Kong and he’s from Los Angeles). He proposed during my Christmas visit and we’re getting married this coming November. Being engaged made long distance a LOT more bearable. It gave me peace and happiness knowing I have something permanent and since we live so far from each other, not knowing when we’ll see each other again was my biggest misery. However, since he proposed, I’m convinced that this long distance is only temporary. We no longer cried our hearts out at the departures area when I left because we both know it’s the last goodbye and that my one-way flight towards him would be very soon. ❤️
Post # 14
Well I’ll chime in too! For me LD and engaged has become both harder and easier. Easier in what many others here mention, especially for some who have it even worse than I do (about 4 hours apart currently). But for me it has made us start trying to figure out how we can close the gap because we can’t stand being apart as much anymore.
Post # 15
I’ll throw my hat in the ring. I think getting engaged as a long distance couple definitely made it easier! I felt that there was an end date to our distance so we could finally start realistically planning our lives together!