(Closed) LDR of 8000 miles, engaged and still LDR. Anyone else out there?!

posted 6 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

We were in a LDR when Darling Husband proposed to me (I was in CA and he was in GA).  It was over a long weekend visit (although he did propose near the beginning of the weekend).  Then we went back to being long distance until a couple of months before the wedding.

I actually found that being engaged made the LDR easier though.  It fully solidfied that, no matter how tough being away from each other was, he was committed to me (not that I doubted this before, but having the symbol on my finger I could look at was nice).  Plus, I threw myself in to planning which helped distract me from missing him.

Congrats on your engagement and, while I can understand the desire to be together NOW, hopefully you can find ways to make the remaining time you will be in a LDR more bearable.

Post # 5
1497 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I was with my Fiance for 18 months before we became LDR (two months ago). After one month of LDR, on a visit, we got engaged! But like you, it was only a couple days before going back to LDR. It’s been a month since, and I’m totally bummed. I try to look on the bright side, we both say the engagement is “a step in the right direction.” But it’s so hard to be apart, like you say, at such a special time. I esp. feel lonely because I lost a lot of friends in my move as well =(

Post # 6
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We have always been LDR. We got engaged on my second trip there about 3 mths after meeting. He was here for Christmas but it sure sucks being in two different countries. We are planning the wedding for this year but there are still the legalities to be handled.

It must be hard with the time difference to add to the stress of the LDR and also not being able to plan a wedding. Hopefully ti will resolve itself soon.

Post # 7
361 posts
Helper bee

I’m engaged, and in a LDR. Right now it’s a six hour time difference between CA and Brazil, but we’re making it work. I just finished the initial packet for the K1 visa and I’m mailing it off tomorrow. It’s been a long road getting to this point, but it is worth it. 

Post # 8
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I am in an LDR, and I’m pretty sure the “official” proposal will be happening when he visits in 3 weeks (although we already have the wedding date picked out and are in full planning mode). And then he will go back to WY and we will bein an LDR for another 2 months until I move there. LDR is so hard, but it has made our love grow stronger!

Post # 9
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We got engaged pretty much the day before we were LDR while I was an internship for 3 months. Like FutureKMM said, its really nice to be able to look at your ring and see it as a reminder that the distance can’t make you guys break up. I was never worried about it, but its nice to have something physical to look at when you miss your Fiance. I prefered it a lot to being LDR and just dating (which we did for about a year several years ago) just because there was much more stability to the relationship than before the engagement (theoretically we were just as stable before, but I still felt more secure with random strangers being able to look at me and know that I was taken).

Post # 10
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@cjfs:  Yep i totally get it. Im in LDR, havent seen my fiance for 6 months now πŸ™ Hes in New Zealand im in CA, and with the time difference and work we don’t get to talk much. Still have about 3.5 months until I can see him again. Sometimes it makes the wedding planning a little bittersweet. ie. he couldnt come do the food tasting with me, etc.

@MeAndDubby:  Good luck with the K1 journey! I filed ours in August, process still ongoing πŸ™‚ Oh and if you ever have questions about it visajourney.com is an awesome website

Post # 11
515 posts
Busy bee

Yep. We started dating in high school, then the year I graduated, he left for basic training, and we’ve been long distance since then, which was May 2010. He proposed while we were both on leave this past December, the day before I left the states for my first base. And now, I won’t see him until this coming December. And we won’t stop being long distance until after the military gives us paired orders which could take up to a year after we’re married. So it could be 2014 before we’re no longer long distance. And even then, we could have TDYs and deployments to go through. Oy.

I wish I was with him, but it gives me something really great to look forward to.

Post # 12
7992 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

We’ve been together for 6 years (I thought it was 7, but then I rechecked!). Have been LDR for a year. I left for work just after we bought a house together. Just went home for a visit a few weeks ago and got the ring. Then I came back. Like you, I now feel sad. I don’t want to be here, I miss home, and I want to be there. I’m frustrated by the lack of progress I’m making on my work, also, and keep asking myself what the point of being away is… can’t focus at all…

I’m 8 hours away, almost completely on the other side of the world. I have no hot water, no phone, no road… I loved being so remote at first but now I just feel tired of it…

Post # 13
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Fiance proposed on the night before he had to go back home, (we were 15 hour car drive apart, and plane tickets were so expensive and with work and both of us owning houses it was hard to see each other) so I know what you mean about cherishing the moment.  We didn’t see each other for six months after the engagement and then only for two days.   It did help to have that ring on my finger, it reminded me what we were working for, to be together as husband and wife. 

Setting the date made it even better and clearer what the goal was.  I quit my job and moved to be with him two months ago and we get married in less than two weeks.  I got a TON of planning done before we were together, so maybe you can start doing that? 

@Rachel631:  It’s so frustrating to be in that situation, πŸ™ … I hope the time goes faster or your work picks up. 

Post # 14
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I understand as well! We’ve been together for 7 years one month. Of that time only 2.5 years were actually speant in each other company (plus one year with 45 minute distance). We got engaged during a visit (Spring Break cruise) and then it was back to a 10 hour car ride away for 2 months (2 weeks together) 2 months apart (2 weeks together) 9 monhts apart in different countries (3 days together) 5 weeks apart (3 days together) WEDDING! a few weeks apart. 

so yea, I get you. lol.

We use Skype almost everyday, and if not an email. It’s hard, but I think the engagement did make it easier- like we are sure that we are going to be together forever. 


Post # 15
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I totally feel you.  He was here on a J-1 visa, got engaged…then the next day he had to go back πŸ™ 10,000 miles and 14 (now 13) hours difference!  Skype is a Godsend!  It’s hard because I hate feeling like our whole engagement we are seperated, but I agree that wedding planning and working on the K1 visa together is making it a lot easier.  We have lots of little projects, still, can’t wait til he’s back here!  Hopefully itll be just another month!


I second the notion of visajourney.com, it helped us out sooooo much!

Post # 16
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I totally feel you on this!  My husband proposed to me the day before I flew back home and it was 4 months before I saw him again (in person of course).  We had to deal with the immigration legalities etc.  Lucky for us immigration didn’t take all that long and we were able to have him fly home with me after my extended visit there and we got married right away to satisfy the fiance visa requirements.  It sucks big time to not be able to be with your fiance much if at all during your engagement, but I was so so thrilled that he asked.  I just put my energies into getting us to a place where we could be together again!  πŸ™‚

We did lots of ideas for the wedding exchanging while we were waiting for the visa to process and talked on skype A LOT!

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