- 5 years ago
- Wedding: February 2016
Hi everyone. I’ve been reading past threads about LDRs and how they’ve worked out. My dilemma will come to a head on Friday – and I’m nervous.
My Boyfriend or Best Friend of 8 months has an interview for a great new job at 2x his current salary. The job is 2 hours south of where we live now. We do not live together, as we’re a little older (34 & 40) and both have our own houses. Due to some special financing terms, I have to live in my house for a little less than 3 more years.
If he gets the job, he plans to sell his house and find a new place in the new town. I will have to stay here until I can sell my place. So far, I’ve been very supportive of his new opportunity, although I’m secretly sad he’ll leave and I’m scared about the future.
Before this I’d only recently begun bringing up marriage and kids hypothetically, and saying “If we get married…” He’s been divorced longer than he was married(no kids), but I’ve never been married, and I’m certain this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.
I’ve read we’re supposed to set up some ground rules for the end date and how often to see each other, but I’m really nervous about the rest. If we’re to do this LDR, I think I should ask if this is leading to marriage and kids. Although we’re in love with each other, I think that if he’s doesn’t know by now if he wants the whole package, I should wish him luck in his new endeavor and tell him it’d be better if we saw other people.
I don’t know if this is a good idea, because it feels like I’d be throwing away the best relationship I’ve ever had. If he does want it all, I’m planning to ask him for a timeline. I’d like to be his fiance during these three years rather than just his Girlfriend. I don’t mind a long engagement as long as I know we’ll be together when it’s all over.
Is this a good plan or should I go with the flow and tell him we’ll try it for 6 months and see how it goes? Thanks for your advice.