Post # 1
For those of you in a LDR:
Especially if he were your first boyfriend ever, would you give an effort to have him meet your close friends when he comes to visit the first time? My closest friend, who was a bridesmaid in my wedding about a month before he came to visit, made excuses about me meeting him. She didn’t even tell me when he was coming (I learned on facebook). I am just trying to understand it. I’d have thought she’d have been excited for us to meet him. Especially after talking about him so much.
Post # 3
@AnonHoney: When FH and I went somewhere my friends lived then yes, I wanted him to meet them. When he was away and we were in a LDR I usually did everything I could to make sure we had as much alone time as possible. I didn’t want to hang out with our friends – I wanted him all to myself. I usually only got to see him for 2 days every 3 weeks, that time was precious.
If they had a lot of time together, maybe it’s weird. If they’ve been apart for a long time and he was only around for a day or 2 I totally understand.
Is it possible she’s concerned you won’t approve?
Post # 4
I don’t know. I don’t think so.. she would tell me he was a lot like my brother. I don’t know how long he was in town for. I would guess a week, maybe a week and a half. I can understand if she wanted a lot of time with him, all to herself. And that’s why I thought I’d just post to see what other people said. I just thought it was really strange that she didn’t even consider trying to make something work. I told her I’d even just meet up for an hour at starbucks or something with them but then she never told me he was here. And I could see he was on facebook, but I didn’t want to seem pushy like I was a crazy friend who wanted to me him so bad!
I just don’t want to be reading too much into things. Although her behaviour in general I think has been weird since the wedding.
Post # 5
When i first dated my FI, we lived about 25 minutes apart (not LDR at all). We did not meet eachother’s friends for that first year. He did meet my sister and BIL after about 9 months and i met his cousin and his wife after about 6 months). Then i moved about 370 miles away. It was about after 18 months of dating before we started meeting eachother’s friends. Mostly because once we were LDR, when we were together we really just wanted to spend time as just us. I think it is normal to want to spend time alone when you don’t see each other often, especially early in the relationship.
Post # 6
@AnonHoney: maybe she isn’t ready. It took me a long time to bring my now fiancé around my friends, and even longer to have him meet family – I took time to establish that he was someone important and would be around for a long time before letting him into my circle.
Post # 7
My Fi and I were LDR for almost 6 months before I wanted to introduce him to my friends, partially because I wanted to get to know him myself before bringing other people into the equation, partially because he’s shy and I didn’t want to overwhelm him, and partially because I wanted to be sure the relationship was actually going to go somewhere before dragging my friends into it.
I actually wouldn’t expect a friend with a LDR to want to give up even 5 minutes of private time with her new love on their first in-person meeting.