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For now, fiance will move in with me...i have my own apartment..so that is the main reason, plus, our jobs are closer to where i live (10 min away)...but in the near future, hopefully 2-3 years, we can move out to california=)
I voted other because we still don't know. The plan was always that I would move to be with him, which would be fine with me. The problem is that I have been unable to find a job in FI's town because no one is hiring in my field. I have a good job where I live, so it's entirely possible that we'll still be apart after the wedding. This will, of course, break my heart, but try as I might, there hasn't been any movement in that area. I'm stuck. Here's hoping something good happens in the next 5 months.
@Soon2BeMrsC - I hope it works out for one of you to move in the coming months! I can't imagine how hard it would be to STAY in a distance situation after the wedding.
How far apart are you two?
I told him I'd move with him even though I recently moved back home to NY after college (in the midwest). I absolutely love the Northeast (culture, family, weather, etc) and it will be super difficult for me to move, but I know it's worth it. He is moving to Washington (it's a state out west...I've had people ask me where it is, most people usually think I mean DC) to pursue his Civil Engineering PhD. He said he was willing to compromise, but I figured if he knew exactly where he wants to go, and the research he wants to do, then good for him because I still can't decide what I want to do!!! It's gonna be a long 4 years but he promised we are moving back to NY as soon as its over. Apart from that, I am taking a half pay check cut!! Oh well...
I didn't move to Ireland because of him but I've stayed because of him. It's not easy but I have managed life away from home pretty well and I don't know if I'd manage life away from him as well....
I'm just waiting for the day when I can fly home once a month...after I win the lotto... :0)
i moved to be with my FI after ~2.5 years of long distance back and forth, while we were finishing school in 2 different cities. i moved because the job market for engineers is better in his hometown than in mine!
I clicked "LDR Marriage until we figure it out" because that's what we're doing! Granted, we figured once he got OUT of the military he'd come live with me, but before the whole stop-loss thing was lifted, we knew that he could POSSIBLY been redeployed and have to "figure it out" as we went.
BLEGH. 6 weeks left =]
@ejs - I hope that six weeks flies by, and that you guys are able to be together every day after that! You're so much stronger than me, girl, I feel like you never whine about your distance, whereas I'm putting it in like every other post, haha.
I want to whine! Trust me! But, after 4 years, i realize it only makes me edgy and crabby and bitchy and then i walk around the house festering all day! It's best to just not think about it so I can focus on the positive things in life.
I get to see him this week (bachelor party for a friend, so i only 'kinda' get to see him)...then next weekend (wedding, so i get to see him 'kinda' haha)....then he's home for good around Thanksgiving.
At least now that stop-losses are stopped and he's actually gotten approoved to get "out" at least we know, 100% sure, that he's coming home. Now he needs a J-O-B!
I moved to be with him... The distance was too hard. The plan is to stay here through the wedding and then in the next few years, when the job market bounces back again, to move back north. I'm so much closer to my family than he is, and it's been super hard to be away from them.
I voted that I will move to be with him, but that doesn't exactly tell the story.
I'm from Delaware, and he's from central London. He's just moved up to the border of Scotland, where my new job is based, and when we're married, I will move there to join him. So, in some ways, when all this chaos is over, we will have both moved. But he <span style="text-decoration: underline;">was there first...
It's nice to know there are other people struggling through long-distance. I'm the last of my friends to get married and they all married people from around here they'd known all their lives. My friends are great, very supportive, but can't really relate to the long-distance struggles I have.
We had a LDR until this past May when I graduated and moved down where he is. It's actually where my parents live and where I went through high school, so it was an obvious decision.
My LDR situation was a little different. We both originally lived in the same city, and I moved to take a job with a known endpoint. The known endpoint got pushed up (to my irritation), and I moved back sooner than anticipated.
I decided to move to his town because it's closer to our families when kids come along. The only thing is the job market isn't that great for engineers so we may both have to move at some point. For now, that's the plan!
@daydreamwanderer-- We live 92 miles apart, so we see each other every weekend, pretty much. Nothing like you being in China! Still not the ideal situation once we are married though.
@Soon2BeMrsC - oh, I don't like comparisons :) Every situation is hard in it's own way :) I can't imagine only seeing my hubby every other weekend, what a let down! 5 months though... lots can happen in 5 months!
I'm moving to be with him once I get my Visa. He owns his home, has a better job & will always have a higher earning potential than me. Not to mention the cost of living is 1/2 of what it is here. I don't think it's ever been an option for him to move here, even though I own my own business! We know what we want for our future & we will be in a better financial position in the US.
After 4 years of this though I think we'd live on the moon if it meant we could be together sooner... :(
@Recessionista - I feel your pain girl! I can't even IMAGINE dealing for that long; thus our quick (and hopefully) short engagement. :)
I'm moving to be with the Lambster - but I'm actually surprised that the majority of us women are moving! I think it'd be so interesting to have a few more datapoints about if one partner or the other had a job first, or where family is, to see what other reasons could effect this!
Good luck to all with your moves - I'm starting to get sad about my move. even though I'm excited to be with my wooly counterpart, I'm still sad to leave the community I've built here in Norfolk.
@lamb: I totally agree... I think I'm in denial about my eventual move. None of this feels real yet.
@daydream: Oh I totally wish we'd gotten our stuff together sooner. 4 years is 2 years too long to be doing this. After 2 years of LDR (IMO) you need to sh*t or get off the pot! lol
You are all so amazing for doing LDR's... it was pretty much decided after 4 months of dating that if he had to move to another city, I'd go with him so we didn't have to deal with that (because I knew I couldnt). More power to ya!
My FI and I were long distance for 3.5 years, until I moved to Florida to live with him. Like Mishu, I am from the NE and miss it like crazy! There is nothing like the energy of NYC, not to mention the massive cut in pay I took when I accepted my new job. He offered to move, but he LOVES his job and I didn't want to take that away from him. Actually, the only difficulty we ever have in our relationship is when I get homesick. I try not to blame him, because I CHOSE to move, but it is very hard to be so far away from my friends and family. I know it is worth it though!
He is moving here! I own my house (well, the bank owns it and I make payments, but you know what I mean) I am settled in my job here, my kids are settled in school here, and this is where we want to be to raise a family together. On trips back and forth since summertime, we've both brought his things down in big rubbermaid totes, boxes, bags, hangup clothes, etc. He is moving permanently the Thursday before the wedding.
@lamb - yeah, the feminist in me is like "OMG! All these women are moving to be with men!" (the poll first read 'I'm moving to be with him/he's moving to be with me' but I didn't want to leave out same sex couples, so I changed it)
anyway... back to my feminist rant, haha, men tend to make more money in their jobs (unfair), and tend to feel more obligated to 'provide' (unrealistic), so I'm not surprised that a lot of career based couples are following the male half. Still kind of sad though, that more men don't support their wives careers so wholeheartedly.
Actually, that's a big part of J and my story - when he came to see me, before he told me he was into me (check out my bio for the full story), he asked what I was looking for in a man, and I told him that I didn't expect to find anyone because I'm not willing to give up my job that I luuuuuurve here in China. When he did get around to telling me he's crazy about me, it was accompanied with an understanding that if we would be together, he would never ask me to give up my job for him. And, as it stands, we're ultimately moving back here! Just gotta get that pesky degree outta the way first... :)
I graduated college and moved to be closer to my fiance. Best decision ever. We're not living together but its so nice to see him more often.
@daydreamwanderer, I was thinking the same thing! I have more earning potential than DH, though, so this was kind of ideal for us....Also, I think more often than not, when you meet in college, the man graduates first, so then the woman follows b/c he's already set.
I'm so grateful men don't make "more" in my field than women. I'd be SO pissed to be in a field like that! It makes me mad to think about it!
@daydream: I would also be inclined to say that a majority of men are older in the relationship and already have roots? Another thing to consider is where people are with their higher education. I just graduated with my MA and the Lambster just started his MBA - so that I'm needing to move. I'm guessing the economy is also playing into it, it's not so much a choice to move, but more of a "go where you get a job" kind of deal.
Mr. Dachshund will move to be with me (in two weeks, eeeek!)
My job is more stable than his, and we have a house here that we can live in free-o'-charge for as long as we need to. And Mr. Doxie lived with his parents.
In a few years when we're ready to buy our own home, we may consider moving to Canada; I love it where he's from.
yay for liztwinz and Miss Daschund!! I'm so glad your men are willing to break out of the mold :)
Really though, I'm just happy for ALL OF US that after the months (and years) of being apart, we'll finally get to be together with the ones we love! YAY FOR LOVE!!!
we did a year of long distance Chicago to San Diego. I'm moving (to SD) because he's in school! it's been great, though I'm still adjusting.
So he's actually already moved here already. But a year ago when we started talking and he said I would never ask you to quit your job and sell your house, my heart melted. After a 3 year LDR where the guy was NEVER going to budge an inch, it was so nice to have someone to me that he'd take a job anywhere if it meant we could stop always having to say goodbye.
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For those in Long Distance Relationships -- Who will move to be with whom after the wedding? and WHY??
I'm curious, since we've already got plans to move around like crazy after we get married. I'm moving to his town until he's done with his masters, then we're moving back here to China, where I've been living. We'll be here for at least a few years, and then who knows?