Post # 1
I think I did good…
I really want the moment when my boyfriend proposes to me to be (at least the illusion of) a surprise… so I don’t want to go ring shopping with him or even talk about rings or proposals… I guess in my mind that’s ‘his business’, and it’s up to him to come to the decision to propose, choose a ring for me, and plan the proposal alone in his own headspace.
BUT that’s not to say that I don’t like the idea of having a tiny bit of say in what kind of engagement ring I will have. So the other day when we were at the mall I said I was going into a jewelry store to look for some earrings for myself, I’d meet him in the shoe store that he wanted to check out in a few minutes. Didn’t even get him to come into the store with me and look at jewelry or anything, the ‘earrings’ were ‘a present that I wanted to get for myself’. When we met up afterwards I complained a bit about ‘how hard it was to find simple jewelry’ and that all I wanted was a really simple, elegant pair of earrings perhaps with small emeralds or sapphires or something, but damn, everything is just so gaudy and busy, isn’t it! Led to a brief convo about how jewelry trends probably tend in that direction, simple has already been done so people want something different, etc. Now he knows / is reminded what type of jewelry I prefer, no need to mention rings or engagements or proposals! I feel like a ring-hinting ninja : )
I suppose I had it pretty easy since all I really care about is that he get me something simple / traditional, if my tastes were more specific they wouldn’t lend themselves to my ‘ninja-like’ abilities. And maybe he did see right through my stealthy efforts, but hey, I didn’t have to come right out and say it! Still pretty pleased with myself!
Anyone else got any stories about discretely leading their fiance-to-be in the right ring direction?
Post # 3
No story here. My guy is incapable of picking up on hints and to top it off he straight up asked me and I straight up told him. We’ve had so much trouble finding something we like we spent months trying to find someone to custom make a piece for us. I got kicked out of the planning at the very last minute and I now don’t know what the jeweler is making. I can hazard guesses but they’d only be guesses.:)
Is your guy the type that will remember little details like that? Or is he the type that needs it to be laid out in black and white for him?
Post # 4
My hinting was not quite as ninja-like yours but I also did not want to go into stores and try on rings with Fiance. I wanted him to pick out something himself, but he and I both wanted him to at least have a direction to move in. For months before we got engaged, whenever we walked by a jewelry store window he would say, “So which ones are your favorites?” and I would point them out and then we’d move on as if nothing had happened. So we both knew what was going on but basically pretended it was normal to look in every jewelry store window and pick out which engagement rings are the best, haha. But it worked, because he proposed in January with a ring I LOVE (simple, like you want) and it was still a total surprise!
Post # 5
Actually my SO was the one who was most direct about where he will be buying the ring from, he didn’t want to purchase from a mainstream jeweller but a local designer one. So don’t lose hope on your guy, they can also make good choices on their own back!
I would perhaps not do things so discretely, just say you like the look of the sparkle in the jewellers you like, you’ve heard good reviews, good quality and service etc. He should listen even if you think he isn’t picking up on your hints 🙂
Post # 6
@claireos:I think he will probably pick up on the hints that I want something more simple/traditional, I’m pretty sure he’s in ring-shopping mode right now. I don’t really even wear a lot of jewelry and I’ve never been the type to wear rings so ….saying that ‘I don’t care what he gets me’ is not exactly true but it’s sort of in that direction. We’ve both talked about how neither of us really wear rings at all and we’re not sure if once we get engaged / married we’re going to keep the rings on 24/7. I just want one because it seems ‘right’, I like the idea of the tradition and symbolism behind it. I guess I just want the ring to be a reflection of him and his choice of a nice gift to give me, rather than a result of me wanting some specific piece of jewelry. But I don’t want something weird or busy, in case I do decide to always wear it. I think (/hope) he will remember that I prefer very simple jewelry.
Post # 7
Hehehe. Sneaky, I like it.
Post # 8
ooo – Clever girl!
Well, my bf is a wonderful, sweet, man. Who doesn’t know much about jewelry. In the 2 1/2 years we’ve been together, he’s gotten me some wonderful gifts. He’s come a long way since the oversized t-shirt I got for our 1 year anniversary. We were talking about rings one night, and he showed me a ring he liked – totally not my style, not remotely my style. One of my least favorite styles of ring. So I’ve sent him links and specs of the rings I’d like since. I have something specific in mind, bezel, channel set, palladium, and moissanite. He wouldn’t know to look into moissanite, especially not the Mira enhancement, wouldn’t know that people can be nickel sensitive, white gold needs replating, palladium vs. platinum, the 4 C’s, etc. So I’m very unapologetic about sending him this stuff.
Post # 9
I made a Pinterest board of rings, and then he used that when he went searching. I didn’t intend for him to use it, but it worked out well 🙂
Post # 10
You are a ninja! that’s pretty clever. I’m hoping that he’ll straight up ask me what I want, that’s what we usually do with gifts.
Post # 11
That is very clever! A few months ago (before we talked more directly about it) we were shopping for his mom’s birthday and looking at some jewelry. I was asking him things like “what kind of metals does your mom typically wear, because some people like me don’t look good with gold because it clashes with my red hair” this way we weren’t talking about my ring or any jewelry for me, but he still heard the one thing I care about for my ring!