- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
Something interesting occurred yesterday evening. My FI and I decided to take a walk in a local park before going out for dinner last night. The trail is paved through a wooded area with a creek running alongside. We’d been walking and talking for about a mile when suddenly he roughly shoved me to the side of the trail. I was shocked! But instantaneously this thought flew through my mind: ” Why did he push me? Oh, SNAKE!!”
I ran, and my FI hurried along after me. I thanked him profusely, of course!
I was right, I’d almost stepped on a baby copperhead snake wiggling in the path. I’m terrified of snakes anyway and those are poisonous. I never saw it until after he shoved me and saved me from stepping right on it.
And what I realized was: My immediate instinct when he shoved me was not fear! I knew without a doubt he had a good reason for doing it. Btw, he apologized and said, “I’m so sorry I pushed you, honey, I didn’t even have time to say anything, I had to act fast!” I laughed, hugged him and said, “It’s ok!”
Because of him I am now healed from the PTSD that plagued me for years after having been physically abused by my ex-husband. For years I had a sensitive “startle reflex” when anyone raised their voice at me or did anything slightly physically aggressive towards me, even if nothing violent was intended. I had learned back then from a therapist that PTSD (post traumatic stress syndrome) is common among victims of past abuse.
I realized that I no longer have that same fear! I feel so safe and loved now in my relationship that I instantly knew when he shoved me that it was a PROTECTIVE shove and not anything to possibly cause harm. Because I know him and know how much he loves me.
It was a really cool feeling, and new to me! And nice to know I’m no longer jumpy like I used to be, I can really and truly trust someone now. A man, no less, haha!
Anyway, just wanted to share this and also would like to hear if any other Bees have overcome something in yourself with the love and help of your SO/FI/DH?