Post # 1
So, I’m pretty obsessed about controlling every aspect of my life. Maybe it comes from growing up in a world of complete chaos, but since becoming an adult and taking over my own life, I’m all about keeping complete control over every little detail – including my relationship.
SO is so understanding about this, and for the most part he lets me have control when I need it. But we are also both working together toward me letting go and allow life to happen spontaneously more vs. trying to dictate every second. Today, this came to a head when we were out at a pretty swanky mall in our new city and I joked about wanting to go into Tiffany’s to try on rings.
I got afraid by his silence that he was annoyed or freaked, but he basically told me that he knows how important it is to me and he knows a lot of jewelers in Chicago (his home city) who can help him create something amazing. He then said that if I really wanted, I could pick one out and just tell him what to get.. but in that moment, I realized that’s the LAST thing I want.
I want to be surprised, and I know that he knows me well enough to pick something that’s going to sweep me off my feet. Just in case, he suggested I share my secret pinterest board with over 100 rings I like with him, so he can get a feel for what I like. But he wants control, and damnit, I’m going to let him have it. For once in my life, I’m going to stop trying to dictate every moment and just let things happen.
He’s never disappointed me yet.
Anyway, I just wanted to process this by writing it out, and I figured the Bee would be the best place. Any other super Type A gals have experience with letting go re: the proposal and the ring?
Post # 3
@MissCalifornia: Lol nooooo I was the opposite with the ring. He was insistent in picking but I’m very particular with jewellery – took me months to convince him to let me have input! We did end up picking the same one though 🙂
As for proposal, he will not relent! I am having trouble coping with it cos he doesn’t have a concrete reason (at least one he’s sharing) as to why it can’t be pretty much now >.<
Post # 4
I didn’t think I was type A, but I’m learning that in some ways I am. I hate that something so important to me is out of my control. I also am pretty used to being able to get what I want, so this waiting thing is new to me.
Post # 5
@MissCalifornia: Me! I’m super type A, much more so than I would like to admit lol I honestly didn’t want to oick my ring, but we started looking at styles and he would send me pictures to get an idea of what I wanted, and I hated every single one. Amazing the lack of observation or listenting skill this man demonstrated, I love him to death but I am SO happy I got input on the ring.
My requests when he asked me what I liked: not round or princess center stone, wanted something different. No solitaire. No bezel set. Dainty and delicate (size 5 fingers, a 3-4mm band looks huge on me!), but not super ornate or over the top. I sent him pictures, which all had a common theme: Emerald cut with baguette or emerald side stones OR Marquise/Oval/Pear with a pave band or any shape side stones.
Not too hard right? WRONG. He sent me about ten ‘what do you think of this ring’ pictures. Yeah no, fail. Bezel set round, he felt it made an impact. Solitaire with super thick band, it feels solid. Double halo, he liked that it sparkled so much. Princess cuts, were pretty and not round but square! I love that man, but he can not buy jewelery for me! I ended up picking two and he chose between those, I knew which one though!!!
He did have full control on the proposal though, even though I wanted to meddle, he did not let me at all and even if it wasn’t what I always dreamed of (I wanted low key, intimate, he went all out over the top) I loved him because it was so him and he put so much effort into it! I was rerally happy in the end that I didnt get a say in the proposal. It was a complete surprise and it completely blew me away!
Post # 6
Good for you! You had the opportunity to take control and thought better of it. That shows a lot of self control, which is a good thing 🙂