Learning to sleep together

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
2627 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

There is an adjustment period and just like any other aspect some discussion may need to happen.

Talk to him about him sleeping at an angle and the alarm clock and ask how the two of you can make it easier for you to sleep. (He may also have some items for you to work on as well)

Ask that he gets 1 snooze each morning and on the second snooze he has to get up.  Maybe placing a pillow at the end of the bed between you two may help with the angle sleeping or if it wakes you up, you will genty push him back to his side of the bed.

Post # 4
6450 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

You should definitely talk to him. TBH though if he starts off sleeping straight and ends up angled there might not be much you can do about it. I move around a lot at night to the point where I would wake up DH. I really couldn’t help that so we ended up getting a bigger bed. Now we really don’t have problems with that as we both have plenty of space.

Is there anything else he can use for the alarm? When I get up earlier I use my phone and set it on vibrate and put it under my pillow. That wakes me up but doesn’t disturb DH. Does he hit the snooze button? I can fall asleep easily again after DH’s alarm goes off once but not if he keeps hitting snooze.

Post # 5
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

i’ve had a body pillow for years. we started putting it between us, cause he tends to hog the bed. this way, he feels it and doesn’t roll over it. it could work for your FI’s whole ‘sleeping sideways’ thing.

as for the alarm, can he get one that isn’t so loud? or set his phone to go off?

Post # 6
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@MrsBeck:  +1 on the bigger bed. 

My FI and I got a king bc he gives off so much body heat I couldnt sleep with him super close to me. And my sister has a body pillow for in between her husband and her for the sideways sleeping issue. Talk to him about the alarm clock.

I know how this feels… and it’s exhausting, hope this works itself out soon! 

Post # 7
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014


I used to sleep on an angle, enough shoving from FI over a few months worked that out!

He also tosses and turns, as do I sometimes, but you actually sleep through it eventually.

As for the alarm clock, FI needs a loud horrible alarm but I can;t STAND them. So as a compromise I set my phones alarm (it vibrates and makes a soft noise under my pillow, to which FI does NOT wake up) and I wake him up, going back to sleep when hes out of bed 🙂

Post # 8
3833 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Definitely talk about the alarm – I hate when DH uses the snooze button since he gets up earlier than me, so he’s agreed to get up the first time (though what really happens is his alarm wakes me up, then I wake him up!).

About the moving in your sleep and your husband’s sleeping at an angle – I honestly believe this will get better over time as your body adjusts to having another person in the bed. At first, I had trouble sleeping with DH, now I have trouble sleeping alone!


Post # 9
1302 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@FutureMrsHallam:  haha +1

If my husband is hogging the bed so much that it wakes me up, I kick him or wake him up and tell him to move over!

The sleeping at an angle/bed hogging will work itself out. What size bed do you have? King size beds are also a great solution.

Post # 10
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Definitely talk about the angle aspect. I never realised I did this in my sleep but apparently I would push my FI ALL the way to the edge of the bed when we were first sleeping together (in the early stages of our relationship). He only told me in the morning. I think what I did was try to get close to him to cuddle him in our sleep, but I just ended up pushing him off! Now we have separate sides and it doesn’t happen. 

As for the alarm thing, also talk to him about that. I’ll tell my FI if I have an alarm set (I set one every morning for my pill), and he’s ok with that. 

These things work out on their own, don’t stress about it!

Post # 11
6789 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

@Tigerlilybride:  My FI is *so freaking hot* (heat wise and look wise lol) I can’t sleep next to him. He literally makes me sweat he’s so hot during the night!! We got a king sized bed to accomdate us and our 2 frenchies. I sleep on one side, him on the other, puppies in the middle lol. I would agree with PPs and say it’s probably time for a big bed!

Post # 12
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

FI gives off so much heat when we sleep I sometimes wake up thinking I’m in a sweat lodge!  I use less covers and usually will start off with us cuddling, then slowly make it over to my side of the bed.  Get a bigger bed!

Post # 13
10454 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

It does get better!  DH and I share a double and when hes not here (quite often for work) I don’t sleep as well.  Sometimes now when we share a queen I think he’s gotten up already because there’s so much more room.

Post # 15
6073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Tigerlilybride:  I could never sleep with my ex.  We had separate bedrooms.  He’d snore, kick off all the sheets, put the fan in the window even in the dead of winter in Utah.  It was awful.


Perhaps a bigger bed?  A tempurapedic?

Post # 16
43 posts
  • Wedding: May 2014

Just kick him.. Or poke him. 🙂

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