Post # 1
So I’ve been chatting with my lovely bridesmaids and they brought up how I broke up with mu FI about 3 times over the past 2 years (with plenty of midnight girl-ranting inbetween). D: I was confused! We worked through it! Ugh!
Those snafus have been haunting our relationship and I am sick of thinking about them. Did anyone else break up constantly with their fiances before they came to their senses?
Post # 3
Sorry, I didn’t. I think your bridesmaids are just concerned about you, and want to make sure you are doing the right thing. Although it may seem like a good idea at the time, it really isn’t a good idea to do the “girl-ranting”, if you are really serious about your relationship. It will always come back to haunt you.
Post # 4
My DH had broken up with me for a week in January 2009. Then he called me and wanted to work things out. Some friends/family were upset when we got back together because they were afraid that we would just break up again and that there would be constant problems. I agree with Noritake and think that your bridesmaids are just concerned about you. I can understand your frustration though.
Post # 5
Yep! We started dating when I was 16 (8 years ago) so of course I did the whole “I’m going off to college what do I need a long distance relationship for?” and then I transferred colleges the following year and everyone I met talked me into the same exact thing. I feel so stupid about it, I was young and didn’t know what I wanted! How was I supposed to know that I met my soul mate when I was 16?
Post # 6
We broke up in January 2009 for 3 months. We had been dating since FI was 18 (2005) and he felt like he wasn’t giving me the kind of relationship I deserved. Once he worked out things with himself, we got back together. It was hard for other people at first, but things have been so different since then that it’s obvious how in love we are.
Post # 7
yup 2 times in 5 months we are on our 7 month now, had a huge fight last night, worked it out like adults, and we are stronger than ever, i love my boy!
Post # 8
They’re actually not concerned at all! They were all joking about it. Apparently, even though I was sure we weren’t compatibal (and I’ve since realized I just had unrealisic expectations) all my pals knew we were destined to be together 🙂
Post # 9
No, but that doesn’t mean I never thought about it while we were dating! I agree with PP however, that although it might feel good to dish gripes to girlfriends, doing so will make it difficult for them to understand later on that you really could be happy with that person. I had a close girlfriend that dated her now husband for many rocky years and I had such bad opinions of him because I never heard good things about him…She eventually asked me why I felt the way I did and I told her and she understood; since then, she’s been careful to balance the good with the bad.
Post # 10
My fiance and i never actually broke up, but the first 2 years of our relationship were fraught with drama. partly because we would go out partying all the time and for me drunkenness usually equals drama. partly because i’ve had trust issues from previous relationships. partly because he didn’t know if he was ready to commit. all the usual girl/boy stuff.
Now i believe that to get to where we are now, we needed to work through those issues together. We’re more solid that alot of couples we know, and i think its mostly because we discussed things alot and worked hard to be honest with each other throughout everything we went through. Now i can’t WAIT to marry him and i trust that we’ll be able to work through anything that happens!
Post # 11
We got together when we were 18 and broke up four years into the relationship. We got back together 10 months later.
Post # 12
SO and I have been together since a week before my 17th birthday. We split for 3 months just shy of my 19th birthday (the summer I was 18 to be exact), but got back together in time for our 2nd anniversary. We have been going strong since. He bought us a townhouse and we’ve been living together for almost two years, rescued a dog, and just celebrated 5 years in August. As much as I hate to say it, I needed to be selfish and explore my “grass is greener theory”, and when I realized it wasn’t, I was lucky enough to have a wonderful man who was willing to wait for me to come to my senses. Never been happier.
Like arenyth, how was I supposed to know at 17?
Then again, he knew at 19 when he met me. [Insert “awww” here]
Post # 13
I think it’s one thing when you’ve dated since you were teenagers, once you’re adult, however, such tumultuous relationships aren’t usually what most people would consider healthy. Multiple break-ups in a relatively short span of time is a reasonable thing for a friend to be concerned over. The “courtship” stage is supposed to be the blissful stage, the “honeymoon” period, if you will. If you’re fighting like cats and dogs to the point where you’re breaking up 2 or more times within the first couple of years, I would think twice about marrying that person. Marriage makes things harder, not easier. If you can’t even handle the stresses of dating, how are you going to handle the stresses of marriage?
Post # 14
@arenyth and sleepingbeauty88: just like you two, my FI and I are HS sweethearts, so we did break up for a little while to make sure we were ‘the ones’. I think it was the best thing we ever did as it just proved we were meant to be together. We will be together for just over 10 years by the time we are married in July!