Leaving out one friend in group

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

oh i used to have a friend like that….its one of my pet peeves if im telling a story n get interrupted so she could tell her story that was the same but better. eeeeshsshhhh

 

I would just say everything is set in stone with BM’s and everything else and you would prefer to keep it that way and not start changing anything because it’ll jus stress you out unnecessarily.

If she evokes drama at every turn and has to one up you I personally wouldnt ask her at all and if she asks about it I would just say the above.

Good luck!! 🙂

Post # 3
Member
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016 - Rosewater Room

Ask yourself – is this someone who you want to stand with you on YOUR special day? Is this someone who’s face you want to look at in your pictures for the rest of your life? Is this really a good friend who’s support you need that day? If you answered no, then don’t include her.

If she has expectations about being invited, that’s her own issue to deal with. Being excluded isn’t nice but at the same time, its your day and you get to pick who you spend it with. If she’s really a drama queen with the crying and drunkness and all that comes along with it, I’d wash my hands from including her in my wedding party. Invite her to the events, the showers, the bachelorette, but do not feel obligated to include her just so the group from school is together again.

Post # 4
Member
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Stanley House Inn

From personal experience I would say you can just not bring it up. When she asks who is in your wedding party, let her know, and move on from there- don’t include her in the list. If she asks why, then let her know that she had a prior obligation and that changing the planning stages now would be pretty awful, but you hope she will be around for any events or girls nights out or random planning sessions.

I had a BM who’s expectation went so far that she joined my wedding party. I know, I know – it is my fault. I didn’t tell her she wasn’t a part of it, and didn’t want to cause drama. She caused a TON of drama – and had to one-up everything for the wedding. Everything. Even on W-day it was all about her. She was just awful, and now I have photos of people I love with the one lingering BM that I didn’t want in my party anyway. I also heard that “having her there won’t change anything so you might as well let her” – but it was a horrible experience.

You think she causes too much drama now, just wait until she is a part of the process…

Post # 5
Member
4634 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

It may be time to be honest with your ‘friend’.

Why exactly are you still friends with her, let alone actually considering having her in your wedding party?

 

Post # 6
Member
745 posts
Busy bee

Can you just say you want to keep the bridal party even? I’d only do this if she brings it up.

Post # 7
Member
6878 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

If you appease her now, you will pay through your whole wedding. Do not invite her to be a part of your wedding unless you want it to be all about her. Don’t bring it up to her and if she asks just tell her you’re hoping she will be able to make it now that her plans changed.

Post # 9
Member
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

If she is someone who is going to annoy you incessantly by being self centered and not be able to support you, I would not include her. Wedding planning is already stressful enough with all the input from family and people outside of the bridal party. You need people who are bound to support you and help destress you. So limit the amount of stress you put on yourself and stick with the list you have OP.

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