Leaving toddler with mother while studying full-time (short-term)? Advice please

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1275 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@moonbride:  Is it not an option to move temporarily to the city?  I am not a mother, but I keep thinking about all the milestones my sister hit in between 12-18 months and how fun she was and I think you’d feel very sad if you missed these things.  Can your mother come to the city and live with you in an apartment to take care of the baby during the day?

Post # 4
Member
1633 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Honestly I dont see it as any different than working.  I live in NYC so lots of my coworkers have commutes over an hour.  It wont be easy, but if it makes a better future for you and your family it might be worth it.

Post # 5
Member
2675 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

I would say it is doable. A very good friend of mine had a baby her freshmen year of undergrad. She completed undergrad, and went on to complete medical school. She had a second child during medical school. The only way she made this work was by her mother helping her out and watching her children. On the one hand her first son called grandma, “mom” for awhile though I think this was in part because his aunt was 4 years old! So he just kind of did what she did at the time. Point is, they made it work. She is a fantastic mother, I never judged her nor did anyone else I know for her decision to put school ahead of time with her famiy for a few years. It’s not the choice everyone would make, and it is hard, but it can be done. 

For you this is only six months, it’s not years. 🙂 

Post # 8
Member
7206 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@moonbride:  Are you saying you’d only see your baby on weekends? Or that you’d be gone 10 hours a day?

I think the latter (gone all day) is doable. Many working mothers do this. But I couldn’t bear to be away from my child all week.

You should ask them about the contact hours, but in my experience, most tertiary course have many days where they finish way early than 4 or 5 pm.

Post # 10
Member
42510 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Many nurses work 12 hours shifts and commute. You can do it.

Post # 11
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee

Definetly doable! 🙂 I strongly believe you can do it with the help of your mom. As long as you know your baby will be in good hands you can def do it. Is your partner available on weekend and evenings to help incase you have work to do?

Post # 12
Member
6644 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

 It is no different than working so yes it is doable. Now if you were talking about leaving the child with your mom for say a week at a time and only see on the weekends that is a little bit of difference 

 

Post # 13
Member
1275 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I didn’t realize you meant you would be coming home still each night!  Okay this makes way more sense.  You’ll be fine!  I thought you just wouldn’t see your child except some weekends for six months.  This is more than fine.  Some days will be harder than others, but it’ll be okay!

Post # 15
Member
6747 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Working mothers do this every day- you will be fine.  You are leaving the baby with your mother, not some stranger you just met.

 

Post # 16
Member
2174 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I leave on a train at 7:20am and get off a train at 6:10pm; my schedule will be the same when our baby arrives next spring.  It’s totally doable, but you’d obviously need reliable childcare for about 12hrs a day.

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