Post # 1
I’ve been engaged going on four years and my guy will not commit. He asked me to marry him and got me a ring six short months after dating. (with no pressure from me) We are older in our 40s so I thought it was ok since we both should know what we want by now. Well..it turns out that he picks fights with me weekly and is constantly telling me that I am insecure and I am accusing him..(this just isn’t true.) there was a time early on when we were being stalked by an ex – girlfriend who moved from another state to 6 blocks from us because she was going to date him again…even though he broke it off from her. She didn;t believe him for some reason…which leads to another question? Why not. I mean what kind of a person sells their home and moves to within spitting distance of an ex? She knows he is engaged to me. I am so confused and so in love with this man but I am not convinced he doesnt want a life with me. However, every time I bring up the marriage thing, he flips out. I am waiting until June for financial reasons but if he doesnt make up his mind and at least set a date, I am going to try to be in a new living situation. Oh btw did I mention that we live together too. Any advice or support would be great. Reading this now I can almost answer my own question but it does help to hear other opinions.
Post # 3
Sorry you are dealing with all this. Something is VERY suspicious about the ex-gf, it sounds like perhaps he gave her a reason to move.
Sit down with him and calmly tell him that enough is enough. You have waited a long time and you need the commitment. He needs to be serious and give you some answers instead of flipping out. Something sounds very off about him. If he can’t give you the answers, it’s probably time to walk.
Post # 4
I don’t know why you are even engaged to this guy. Love is nice, but so is being treated decently. I have no advice, only my sincere wishes for the best of luck!
Post # 6
@trueblue14: +1 And I think you need to leave him ASAP. This isn’t healthy love.
Post # 7
Unfortunately, it doens’t sound like he wants to marry you. I think it’s time you started living your life and found someone worth sharing it with.
Post # 8
@lefthanging: You aren’t engaged, that is a promise ring. An engagement means you are planning to be married, not dating still.
I say talk to this woman to get her side, then talk to him for his. THEN, if it still doesnt sit right, all three of you talk together.
Next, if you still want to be with him invite him to the court house for your wedding.
Post # 9
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
Why do you want to marry someone who picks fights with you and tells you that you are insecure? If you had a daughter involved in this type of situation, would you tell her to go ahead and marry the guy? Just because you love him, that does not mean that it is a healthy relationship or the right relationship for you right now. Be smart. You know what needs to be done here.