Legal marriage before Wedding Ceremony …. Mother does NOT approve

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

I don’t really see the point in getting married now. There is no pressing reason, and it will take the real sentiment out of your “wedding” next year.

If you do get married in October then call your next ceremony a vow renewal.

Post # 3
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee

It is YOUR wedding and YOUR marriage so do what makes you and your fiance happy.

 

We are having a destination wedding and getting married legally in Canada. My destination wedding is my wedding not getting married at the court house.

 

I know people on here like to get all upset when people call their ceremony ( when they are already legally married) a wedding but that is what it is for us.

Don’t let other run your plans

 

Post # 4
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

jerica1126:  we did this! We got married on December 30th, 2013 at the justice of the peace with no one around and no exchange of vows…we just wanted it legal on paper so we could file taxes jointly and I could get on his insurance. We kept it a secret and still had our wedding 5.3.14! It was a great decision and we had a lot of support from our parents (the only people we told). Good luck to you!

Post # 5
Member
4774 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I agree 1000% with sway. I plan on doing this exact thing. We are eloping to Bora Bora and having a reception when we get home. I still plan on getting legally married next Dec and Bora Bora in Feb 2016. But we still might get married sooner than Dec 15 because I might need insurance. Just do what works for you and don’t listen to anybody else, including your mom.

Post # 6
Member
1055 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Loft

jerica1126:  It’s your wedding. You want to get married. Get married. It’s your choice. 

Post # 7
Member
5228 posts
Bee Keeper

Some people get really offended if they find out people were actually legally married before their big wedding because they don’t consider it a “real” wedding. I personally don’t have a strong opinion on it other than your guests feelings in this matter should be taken into consideration. If you think people will feel deceived in not knowing you are doing this, then you should tell them. Personally, I think military couples should get a pass on this subject entirely.

Post # 9
Member
2566 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

A lot of people on these boards have really negative thoughts about this.  Some girl compared it to running in the streets naked just yesterday on the boards!  I suggest just doing what you want, and don’t let the people with more traditional mindsets sway your opinion.  It’s your wedding.

Post # 10
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee

ksn1219:  I am 99% sure we are also getting married in Bora Bora.  I am flirting with the idea of paris but I think we will stick to the original plan

Post # 11
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Why Don’t you get legally married and not tell anyone?  It is totallt understandable for someone in your situation to want to get married before the wedding.  Especially when finances are involved.  Go for it!  I would recommend not having a ceremony per se but just a simple court marriage.

Post # 12
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee

damarajade:   yes I agree it is like you are using a swear word when you call your ceremony a wedding if you are already married.  To me I call the ceremony that I planned and spent a small fortune on my wedding. That cermony is the one I am going to look back on when I think of my marriage, not sitting in some crappy court house doing the legal standard so that the government will consider me married. My wedding is the cermony where I give my heart to my husband and promise to love him for eternity. 

I don’t need some stranger to tell me what to call my wedding. It’s my freaking wedding. If you want a vow renewal do it yourself.

Post # 13
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

This seems to be coming up a lot more on the boards lately, and I’m GLAD because the more it’s out there, the more people will realize that it’s NOT that uncommon, and it’s YOUR choice. <br /><br />We did this. Only my family knows. I moved across the country to be with him, and we got married for insurance purposes. My mother initially LOST it. She was so upset she wasn’t able to be there. But after talking about it, she and my family are now fully supportive of us having a wedding next fall because they want a chance to celebrate our marriage (since no one was present for our JoP ceremony). Legally we are married. But in the eyes of the church….it’s a little more complicated. <br /><br />Do what’s right for you. Although my husband’s family does not know, that’s his choice – we are not registering for gifts and are paying for the wedding next year ourselves. The money will help with the planning portion, but the real reason for us was health insurance. My advice is just to be up-front about it with everyone, and most likely they will get over it and want to celebrate with you.

Post # 14
Member
2566 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

sway0060:  Nevermind to the comment that was here!  My mind is lost studying for my oral comprehensive exam.  I’m glad that you’ve responded positively to those who have tried to make you feel bad about your wedding.  It’s YOUR wedding!  Why can’t you celebrate it how you choose?

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  SeaOfLove. Reason: Misunderstanding
Post # 15
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee

damarajade:  I didnt see the other one hopefully it wasnt bad lol . In my actual life everyone is very supportive of how I wpuld like to get married I was more referencing the WB. I have seen post where someone is planning their wedding and is basically taunted becausw they had a legal cermony before hand.  Seems like they were not satisfied till she called it a vow renewal that to me is not right.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors