Legally married before the wedding, which anniversary do you celebrate?

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Which date do you celebrate as your anniversary?
    Date of legal/civil marriage : (28 votes)
    34 %
    Date of non-legal wedding : (39 votes)
    48 %
    Neither : (3 votes)
    4 %
    Both, they are equally important : (12 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    431 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

     

    caritas:  tagging in to join the convo. I’m in the same predicament!

    FI and I have talked about it, and I believe we are leaning towards the day of our wedding.

    Post # 3
    Member
    3514 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    caritas:  We’ve been together for almost 2 years. Got engaged back in September, got married this pass Saturday (March 15th, City hall) and are having our big wedding November 15th. We will be celebrating both anniversaries but probably won’t go all out for our March 15th anniv.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2134 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    FI’s parents got legally married AFTER their actual wedding (long story…basically, their rabbi wasn’t licensed to marry them in the state they got married in) and they only celebrate their wedding date as their anniversary.

    Post # 6
    Member
    811 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    We will consider our wedding date our anniversary. We are getting legally married in our hometown before eloping to avoid the headache of marrying in another country but our wedding day will be the day of our ceremony.

    Post # 8
    Member
    4441 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

    caritas:  Had to: 

    Post # 9
    Member
    2 posts
    Wannabee

    caritas:  I have the same issue. I am making it official in May of this year and won’t have a ‘real’ ceremony/reception until we are both done with school…. two years from now. But I plan on celebrating the non-legal date as my anniversary but I am confused as to what we do in the mean time.

    Post # 10
    Member
    772 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I’m still trying to figure this out too! 

    Post # 11
    Member
    3394 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    We’re in the same boat! Legally married in January (with just my family in attendance) and our proper wedding is in May. I think we’ll probably do something special to mark the legal wedding, but the May date will be our anniversary.

    Post # 12
    Member
    328 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    We had the same issue too! We legally got married in March but had the ceremony/reception in October. We ultimately choose March because there was some drama/bad memories with the wedding in October. The March courthouse ceremony was intimate and just us. And I liked the March date because it had two of my favorite numbers, 3 and 5 lol. My parents were confused when we celebrated our anniversary in March because they considered the October one more ‘official’. But in the end, it’s up to you guys and which date holds more meaning to you, or just celebrate both!

    Post # 13
    Member
    1076 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Same boat, but we’re not married yet. Our legal, civil ceremony, which we are spending a HEFTY amount of money on, will be August 1. The Mexican Catholic mass that my parents are throwing, will be September 27.

    I think maybe we’ll meet in the middle and call it an August 24 anniversary?

    Post # 14
    Member
    579 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    caritas:  We celebrate the day we got married in front of our family and friends. We very specifically wanted our officiant to be an old pastor of mine but she couldn’t legally marry us. We got married legally 8 days later when we got back from honeymoon because it was the first date we could get in spite of applying 2-3 months prior. I come from a small town so the officiant in the court only came once a week to do marriages. Yes everyone knew we weren’t getting legally married that day and only did it roughly a week later and to be honest no-one cared. To us we were married the day we said our vows for the first time, the legal ceremony was merely a legal formality.

    Post # 15
    Member
    8707 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    We celebrate when we were legally married, not when we had the wedding.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2878 posts
    Sugar bee

    caritas:  If this situation would happen to us, we both agree we would consider the wedding day our anniversary date, not the day we went to the JOP. So, the ”unofficial” date would be our date for personal celebration, and we would keep the legal date for legal papers.

    I do not have a problem with choosing the date you feel is the most meaningful to you. FI and I changed our legal status this past October to common-law … it’s a formality requiring papers to be filled and signed, it’s official for both panels of government, it has an impact in our taxes and all, as we are being taxed just like married couples, yet this formality will never become a meaningful event to us, but our ”dating” anniversary, which is very arbitrary, is an important milestone for us. Ultimately, besides confusing the very few people who will actually remember your anniversary date after a few years, it doesn’t affect anybody else’s life. Just go with what feels right, and the most meaningful, to you both. 

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