(Closed) Lending Money to Family…*sigh*

posted 5 years ago in Money
Post # 3
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I don’t lend money to anyone anymore because of bad experiences. I once lent money to a co-worker because she needed to buy her sick kid’s medicine and didn’t have enough money until payday. I wasn’t making a lot at the time so the $50 I lent her was significant. She promised she’d pay me back on payday. Payday rolls around and she makes some excuse for not paying me, but next payday for sure. Next payday rolls around, yet another excuse. Payday after that and my car breaks down big time and needs $like $2000 in repairs leaving me almost $50 short on my rent and had to go into my overdraft because of it. If she had paid me back when she said she would have, I would have had an extra $50 in my savings account (at the time, any money left the night before payday went directly into a savings account, and I tried as much as possible to live on less than my paycheque each month and only use my savings account for ’emergencies’ like car repairs and what not, and when the savings account got big enough that I had 6 months pay set aside, anything over 6 months pay would be used to go on a trip).

When I first moved out on my own, my parents lent me some money to get things like dishes, pots, pans, a new bed (they wanted to keep my bed for guests), etc etc. I was giving them a little bit each payday to pay them back. When I lost my job, I wasn’t able to pay them back for about 2 months until I found a new job (I was relying on my savings at the time, and they told me that I didn’t have to pay them while I was unemployed). Then when I found a new job they just told me not to worry about it, they decided that the rest of what hadn’t been paid back would be a gift (even though they bought me a few gifts, including a microwave, and they gave me their old tv when I moved). Every so often when I do something frivolous with my money my mom will bring up the money they lent me, but I remind her she told me it was a gift and she lets it drop. (My mom sometimes forgets what she’s told me btw until you remind her, then she remembers).

Post # 4
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I am so sorry!  I think you can just call this a loss and a lesson learned (to never lend money again!).  Suze Orman had a show on this.

My dad asked for money from my sister once, my very giving helpful sister.

He came to her very scared, very secretive and said he was in a lot of trouble and needed money fast.  She asked how much.  He said as much as you can give me.  So she took out of her own retirement account and gave it to him. I think like $20k.

When she asked him about it a few months later, he said, “I thought we took care of that.”  She just blocked it out of her memory and called it a loss. 


I have no idea what kind of trouble my dad was in.  I could guess though.  But now my sister is a single mom at 35 with two kids and has a couple thousand in her retirement now.  Very very sad.  Dad died a few months ago at the age of 58.

Post # 5
2693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I would want my money back, that’s a lot just to say, oh well, just keep it.  Fi’s dad has been thrugh this with so many people, it turned him into a scrooge.  Biggest loan he made was to his dauhter’s husband: $20,000 so he could et started on building a house in Nicaragua.  Well, fmil went to Nicaragua and saw the “house”.  It’s a few bricks about 4 inches high.  That is it… no one knows where the $20,000 went and although he says (well fsil says) they’ll pay him back, they never will.  They can barely make ends meet (well thanksfully fsil finally got a job), but it just sucks for ffil.

I don’t like to borrow money from people but when I do, I make sure to pay it back or remind people that I will.  Fmil has loaned me money and when I talk about paying her back, she tells me not to. 

I don’t loan people money I can’t afford to lose.  I loaned money to a friend and she paid it all back, minus $20.  Not bad so she can have that $20 not a big deal. My sister loaned a ton of money out to family too, even me.  I paid her back a few years later in full with my tax returns. The only person that never paid her back was my brother.  Not sur ehow much he owes her but it is more than $1500 and she has just learned to let it go.   I just don’t understand people.  If you can’t pay it back, at leats let the person know you still have every intention to do so.  But to just never mention in the hopes that you will forget is so wrong.

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