Post # 1
Hello to all the Jewish bees!
I’m in the process of converting and am looking forward to my own Jewish wedding next year
I’m wondering about the average lengths and timelines of traditional Jewish weddings-either your own, others you have been to, or what you anticipate and are planning. By traditional, I mean including the various elements like a tisch, bedeken, ceremony, yichud, etc. I’ve been to two Jewish weddings and both were in the 7-8 hour range from beginning to end, so I’m wondering if this leaves out the possibility of booking a venue that has a time limit (most of them are 5 1/2 hours maximum). I don’t want to feel rushed during the day! How does this usually work?
Post # 3
the ceremony itself is usually about half an hour (most that i’ve been to are reform though, so can’t speak for conservative/orthodox ceremonies).
Post # 4
@simcha: Yay more Jewish bees!! As for the entire day it depends on what all you do. Some traditions are just that–a tradition and not a requirement. And lots of interfaith weddings skip stuff like the Bedeken, etc. But the ceremony itself is not lengthy, at least in the Reform movement. 15-30 minutes. Half an hour TOPS. I daresay closer to 20, depending on how long all the readings take. We like it short and sweet. 🙂
Post # 5
I agree with chuppah ceremony being up to 30 minutes. We’ve reserved the venue for 6 hours total. Our breakdown is 30 minutes for tisch/bedeken, then 30 minutes for ceremony, then 1 hour for cocktail, then 4 hours for reception/dinner/dancing. We’ll start off the reception with Jewish dancing for maybe 30-45 minutes, then have dinner, then more dancing including some Jewish dancing but mostly regular/secular music.
Post # 6
@MissHoneyBun:Yup, I’m not concerned about the ceremony itself, just all the other stuff, along with the usual picture taking and whatnot. We’re conservative but my FI leans toward orthodox in terms of closely following all traditions and customs, so for us it’s definitely going to be included!
@ahavah:That sounds like a good break down and similar to what I was thinking. Are you doing anything like a first look prior to the tisch/bedeken? And are you doing the yichud after the ceremony? I’m trying to figure out where I can fit in picture taking with the family. From the weddings I’ve been to, the yichud is immediately following the ceremony, and basically the second the couple comes out of there, they are swept up into the hora. It would be nice to get all the formal pictures done before everything but unless there is a big block of time I’m not sure this will happen!
Post # 7
@simcha: I would suggest doing limited hors during your bedeken/tisch, just something for people to nosh on and not starve. Then after the ceremony, spend 15 minutes tops in the yichud room, and go on to do 30-35 minutes of pictures. In the meantime, your guests can have a cocktail hour where they have something more substantial to eat and drink, or even start the salad course. The band can also play some music during this time. Then you will make your big entrance for your first dance set.
Post # 8
i went to an orthodox wedding last summer with the bedekken/tisch (where there were huuuuge amounts of food), ceremony, dinner and dancing (mostly “simcha” dancing with the men and women separated, not much secular dancing). the whole thing was about 6 hours if i remember correctly. and that had a LOT of dancing, they could have cut that shorter…and making the cocktail hour essentially the same time as the bedekken/tisch also saved time
our wedding was reform, and lasted 5 hours, but the ceremony was like 20 mins, ketubah signing was before it and about 5 mins, and we spent like 10 mins in the yichud room before heading over to our cocktail hour. we did the hora for like, 10 mins-ish (make sure your friends hold the front of your chair as high as the back of your chair–i swear our friends almost tipped us out of our chairs the whole time!)
thinking about other Jewish weddings–I’ve been to lots of orthodox, conservative, and reform–I think 5-6 hours is pretty average.
Post # 9
Our plan is basically the same as @danidoll described. We are hoping to catch the tail end (like 10-15 minutes) of the cocktail hour to mingle a bit, and then we’ll go straight into dancing. Our timeline is about 7 hours on a Sunday, beginning at 12:30 pm:
1 hour for kabbalat panim/tisch/bedeken (champagne, soft drinks, and light HDs served)
30 min for chuppah
15 min yichud (guests are in cocktail hour)
30 min photos (we’ll do seperate photos with our bridesmaids/groomsmen and our own families before everyone gets there so we are hoping to keep this time to 30 minutes) (guests are in cocktail hour)
15 min of us joining cocktail hour
4 1/2 hours of reception
However, our wedding is at my families’ synagogue so we don’t have time constraints for our venue.
Post # 10
in the UK it’s around 30-40 minutes long 🙂
Post # 11
I meant the Chuppah (ceremony) is 30 – 40 minutes long. 🙂
Post # 12
I think 5 1/2 hours will not be long enough if it is important to you to do the pre-ceremony elements like the tisch and bedeken.
Also, keep in mind that even if you could fit everything in, you don’t want to feel rushed at your wedding. Our wedding was probably 6 1/2 hours including the ketubah signing before the ceremony and although everything was wonderful, we felt like the day flew by and we had a hard time getting to talk to all the guests! I would say if you have the option to make things more leisurely, giving yourself time to do everything you want to do, it will work out better.
Post # 13
Ours is going to be 7 hours. half hour for ketubah/getting guests to their seats, half hour ceremony, hour cocktails, and 5 hour reception.
Post # 14
We’re reform, our wedding might be different, but here’s our time line.
3:00 first look
4:00 Ketubah signing and bedeken
4:30 Ceremony (our wedding was on a sunday so we didn’t have to worry about sunset)
5:00 Pictures and Cocktail hour
6:00 Dinner reception
Post # 15
I wonder if we’ve underbudgeted time for our wedding now, which is 5 and a half hours as well. Our plan is:
6:00 Kabbalat Panim/Tisch
8:30 Hora, followed by dinner
11:20 Sheva brachot