Post # 1
I’m looking for some opinions… how long is too long for a Father fo the Bride speech?
I’m from the UK, as is my family (obviously), it’s normal there for speeches to be the centerpiece fo the reception, as it were. I spoke to my parents today and my dad was fairly devastated that I had imagined his speech being only about 10 mins… he says it is currently around 20 mins long….
We’re marrying in America and half the guests are American (as is my fiance), presumably they’ll be expecting toasts of around 5 mins… not an epic 20 mins per person.
I thought 10 mins would be a good compromise… .
How long would you say is the maximum a FOTB could talk for and not make the American guests super ansty?
Post # 3
1-3 minutes. Honestly, more then that I as a guest I stop listening. Especially if there are multiple speeches. I think in total all the “boring” parts shouldn’t last more then 10 minutes..
Post # 4
Keep it SHORT. Under 5 minutes, definitely! Preferably under 3!
No one will be listening to a 20 minute long speech.
Post # 5
Were planning on 10 minutes for all the speeches combined. You really can say alot in a few minutes. My family and bridal party aren’t big talkers anyways, and were all an emotional bunch so it’s best to keep it short and sweet. I asked everyone who is making speeches what their preferance was, and they all only wanted to speak for a few minutes, so we were all on the same page anyways.
Post # 6
It is normal in the UK for speeches to be 15-20 minutes, though.
I appreciate what you guys are saying, but you’re giving me what the American norm is… I need to find a compromise that suits both families.
My Dad would feel completely slighted and offended if I told him to keep his speech to 3 mins! It would be more-or-less the equivalent of telling him we didn’t want him at the wedding!
Post # 7
No more than about 2 minutes I think. Any more is getting loooong.
Oops didn’t see your reply. If that’s the norm and your guests won’t be bored because they’re used to it, go for it. You’re right though – it’s just shorter here.
Post # 8
I think speeches should be under 5 minutes per person. I’m planning on asking to have the speeches kept to about 2 minutes at my wedding. I worked at a wedding venue for 3 years and I would often hear guests complaining about the speeches dragging on and being boring. We had speeches go for about an hour on a few occassions, and people were not happy being stuck in their seats that long. They just want to get on to the dancing and drinking part of the evening.
Post # 9
I’ve asked everyone to keep speeches to under 3-4 minutes. That’s way more than enough time IMO.
Post # 10
Well, I have allotted 20 mins total for speeches: 5 mins for groom, 5 mins for best man and 10 mins for my Dad. So, in total it’s not toooooooooo long. We’re also having them between the first and second courses of a sit down meal so guests will have eaten something, have a drink in front of them and won’t be starving.
There’s absolutely no way that my dad’s speech can be less than 5 mins… I mean, it’s is just not an option. Even 10 mins is pushing it and he is clearly slightly upset that 10 mins is what I had expected (rather than the 15-20 that would be customary in the UK).
Of course I don’t want to bore my American guests; at the same time I don’t want my British guests to miss out on the things that make a wedding a wedding, in their eyes. My British guests aren’t getting the 12 hour party that they’d be having in the UK and are having to learn to appreciate all the quirks of American wedding traditions; I would hope that, at the very least, my American guests would be able to sit through a slightly longer than normal speech without getting grumpy about it.
Post # 11
My dads was probably about 10-15 minutes (maybe a bit longer) and even I thought that was too long. I was getting uncomfortable for the guests
Post # 12
20 minutes?!! That’s so long. I mean honestly what can you even say in 20 minutes that’s not repeating yourself. I think under 5 minutes is ideal! People are going to get bored and stop paying attention, sadly!