Post # 1
So did or is anyone else fighting with their FI way more now that you’re closer to the wedding?
We’re less than a week away and lately we’ve been fighting way more than we ever do about really stupid stuff. Like the other day I put away his laundry, and apparently he told me I didn’t do it properly because he pulled out a shirt all wrinkled and I should just let him do his laundry from now on… and we got into a huge fight over it because I felt I was just helping and he was unappreciative. Stupid right? Or fights about diving up household chores to get things done. Or fights over debates on different controversial issues (probably not the thing to be doing right before the wedding). Just feel like in the past couple of days we could solve things in like 5 minutes and instead it turns into a fight. I feel like for me, I’m a tad more snappy because I’m so stressed out with the wedding being right around the corner, and the fact that I feel like everything needs to be picture perfect… including our relationship and how we function since we’re getting married next week. I feel like he’s on edge because I am.
Did anyone else have this issue? Is this normal?
Post # 3
I’m pretty sure it’s normal. I keep getting asked if I am going to move home for the week before my wedding because supposedly its a good/normal thing to be apart the week before the wedding so you don’t kill each other! hahaha
Post # 4
@jillieb: no one has said that to me, but I now see how that makes sense. lol.
Post # 5
I hear a lot of couples fight more during the engagement….women suffer from wedding brain. I’m guilty of this too! If it’s little things, then I wouldn’t worry about it too much. 🙂 It’s just stress-related like you said and after the wedding, I’m sure it will be smooth sailing.
Post # 6
It is normal. We did that too, and the wedding party who had flown in early was like “What is wrong with you guys? You fight constantly!” But after the wedding it all got better. Not to say we don’t fight anymore (we’ve had at least two huge fights), but it got a lot better. We don’t fight all the time, and it’s nothing like the annoying little fights we had right before the wedding. Don’t worry!
Post # 7
Every friend or family member to marry has admitted to some tension and bickering prior to the wedding, and almost all of my clients have confessed similar problems. It’s a combination of stress and excitement that we should all probably expect, but few want to admit that the pressure is getting to us. I think it’s normal, and while it doesn’t help the situation at all, things will likely calm down after the wedding.
The advice I give to my brides is twofold:
a. Allow yourself to cry/scream/laugh hysterically in front of someone, be it your FI, mother, or MOH, at least once in the week before your wedding. Set a timer, and say anything you want — be a b**** or just whine and cry — for 20 minutes. It’s cathartic, and once your time is up, it’s time to take the proverbial deep breaths and do something constructive. Drinking a glass of something yummy and alcoholic at this time is also helpful ;D
b. Think before you yell and assess the importance of the arguement at hand. Is *now* the time to debate politics, religion, or sports? Probably not. And decisions about the wedding that are done and paid for are off-limits at this point. Exhude love, plaster on a smile, and eventually your happiness will take over.
Best wishes, you’re almost a Mrs.!
Post # 8
One word: YES!
One of my friends who came to help with wedding stuff even made a nasty comment about how he was “hurting my self esteem” or some crap and I got SO ANGRY because I knew it was just situational fighting. UGH.
That comment above about going to stay somewhere else for the week before is a good one. Absence makes the hard grow fonder, and all of that.
Post # 9
we have about 6 weeks until our wedding, and we’ve been fighting a lot too. Actually, not as much fighting as much as just getting on one another’s nerves. We’re both super stressed and busy, and that always seems to happen when us.
I feel like it has to be common. It’s a lot going on! You’ll be ok!
Post # 10
@BostonBaby: Those are some great ideas? I know I can’t blame him for it all, because sometimes I’m the one that starts stupid fights about stupid things. I need to be more concious of what I’m doing.
We went to the art museum today, I had an idea if we had a romantic day out together that we don’t normally do that it might lessen the tension. I was right it helped immensely.
Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone. I was really freaking out about it.
Post # 11
It happened to us. It’s a combo of wedding detail stress and OMG this little tiny thing that I didn’t think would bother me, now is this huge “i’ll have to deal with it for the REST. OF. MY. LIFE!” If you guys were good before and the current fights aren’t about anything serious (like major stuff you’ve swept under the rug), then just acknowledge that you are stress about the wedding and scared about the major life milestone that is about to happen. Transitions can be stressful, even good transition. Doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed. Just find ways to get through the next week.