Post # 1
My lovely Future Mother-In-Law threw me a bridal shower on Sunday. I have only been to a few showers so I wasn’t too sure what to expect but I figured that there are a few traditions that I would have to indulge. It was sort of a last minute party and she called a few people on a list I provided. I think she planed it in less than a week which was so impressive. It was a small group since my Maid of Honor was already going to throw me one next week and I wanted to invite people who weren’t going to that one. I didn’t want anyone to feel obligated to dedicate two weekends in a row and to buy me too many presents.
For such a last minute thing it was way better than expected both in turnout and in quality of gifts. I got so many useful kitchen gadgets that I had registered for and some beautiful silky pajamas. It was casual and we ate quiche and lemon cake. I was thrilled that my mom could finally meet my Fiance parents since she was protesting doing so for a long time but that’s another story.
That being said, we didn’t really talk about wedding stuff too much or do any wedding themed games or activities. No one really took any pictures. And at the end no one offered to make me a bouquet out of the ribbons from all the gifts. I know it such a silly old tradition but it is a nice gesture and every shower I have been to, someone has made one for the bride to hold at her rehearsal. Everyone just sort of cleaned up and left. Then my Future Sister-In-Law grabbed the ribbons out of the garbage bag of wrapping and handed them to me saying that I would want to keep them and make a ribbon bouquet. For a second I thought she would just do it for me but no. So I sat there and made it myself. I felt a little awkward but it was important for me to have one and since no one else was offering. I know that I have even seen my mom make one for my step sister’s shower years ago and I felt a little sad about her leaving and not seeing to it that it was done. Maybe she didn’t want to step on Future Mother-In-Law toes and assumed that she would make one for me. Then again my mom isn’t really jazzed about this marriage or my groom. So I had to make my own ribbon bouquet. Oh well. Should I feel a little sad about the fact that no one really cared to uphold this tradition. Does anyone else feel like this is a little pitiful? At the very least, is it kind of odd? Now I am kind of afraid to have expectations about my shower next weekend. There is still a chance that someone will offer to make me a ribbon bouquet then but I don’t want to get my hopes up because it was so disappointing this time. It isn’t a huge deal in the scheme of things but I just wanted some opinions.
Post # 3
@RobotBabooshka: Honestly, I’ve never heard of making a bouquet out of the ribbons, but it seems like a neat idea. I wouldn’t be too upset, remember you have another one coming up.
Post # 4
I don’t even know what a ribbon bouquet is, and I had a bridal shower. I think you’re majorly setting yourself up to be disappointed if it can happen that easily.
Post # 5
I think you set high expectations. I think you had a great bridal shower. People came and brought you gifts
Post # 6
In my experience someone has always made one for the bride while she was opening gifts. But I don’t think this is done everywhere (as evidenced by some of the responses here). I wouldn’t worry about it too much.
Post # 7
I would focus on the fact that you had a great shower and got gifts. Could you get your bridesmaids together to do it? I just had a shower back home in California (I now live in Colorado) and only 1 of my friends showed up…. I didn’t let that ruin my shower and enjoyed the fact that my family and my friend came. I didn’t get a ribbon bouquet. I might get one at my Colorado shower. But I encourage you to focus on that someone threw you a shower and you enjoyed yourself.
Post # 8
Maybe suggest that a riobbon bouquet would be a neat idea!
Post # 9
@RobotBabooshka: I would have been kind of bummed too. This is a big part of showers that I’ve been to — maybe your ladies are from cultures that don’t do this? And maybe your mom was distracted? Regardless, I’m sure your bouquet looks great. 🙂
Post # 10
You had a great shower, it seems silly to dwell on this one little thing. If you wanted one then, you should have mentioned it at the time. Or the next time you have your shower.
Post # 11
I’ve never seen the bride make her own ribbon bouquet, usually a bridesmaid or relative takes care of it. Usually, even though the bride knows it’s happening, it’s done ‘secretly’ and then presented to her after the fact…she doesn’t really see it during. I’m sorry that no one did it for you, that would make me sad too. If I was there, even if I didn’t know you I would have done it if no one else did!! Maybe for the shower this week one of your bridesmaids will do it, maybe no one thought about it because it wasn’t your ‘real’ shower?
*for those Bees who don’t know of this tradition, you typically make a bouquet out of the ribbons and bows from the shower, and the bride uses this as her bouquet for the rehearsal. Usually you take a picture at the shower of the bride wearing it like a hat too, cheesy and silly but cute.*
Post # 12
Sorry but no one knew to do this for me either!
I just don’t think FI’s family knew about the tradition. At least I was able to make mine just as pretty as I wanted.
Post # 13
I think you shouldn’t feel sad. You should feel loved and know that these people came to see you, regardless of traditional practices. I have seen the ribbon bouqet made by both bridal party members and the bride herself. I would want to make my own because I am insane and would want it my way lol.
Post # 14
1) I have never heard of a ribbon bouquet. I attended 4 bridal showers this year so far (all in the northeast) and didn’t see it done there either.
2) The next shower seems like your main shower as it was planned further in advance. This one seems like a nice gesture. I wouldn’t feel put out by the fact you got an extra party and extra gifts. 🙂 It sounds like a nice bonus and you’ll probably do a ribbon bouquet at your next shower if they are customary where you live. What would you do with 2 ribbon bouquets anyway? 🙂
I say appreciate it for all the extra good and let go of the little thing. For my shower I wasn’t allowed to have my husbands family invited due to one aunt (We were not allowed to invite her and if we couldn’t invite her, we couldn’t invite any of his aunts or extended family out of fairness- it was weird), and so not only was it smaller, there was some family awkwardness. Not to mention I was cleaning up the rest of the weekend on my own. But everyone had a great time and I saw some people I hadn’t seen in a while. It was great!
Post # 15
I had two showers–one in the South and one in the Northeast and no one made me a ribbon bouquet. I had never heard of this tradition, but it sounds really cute! Neither of my showers included much wedding talk or any wedding games or activities either.
Post # 16
No one does this here so I already planned to make my own. No bid D. I think you just need to focus on the positives (you did get a shower where so many brides don’t). Maybe at your ‘main’ shower, someone will make one for you so then you can have 2.
I do understand how you feel when things don’t live up to your expectations though… that is why I have none for my shower LOL>