(Closed) Lesson learned.. never play matchmaker!

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

That sounds awful, but you can’t blame yourself for it.  I suggest you try to help your friend through this.  One piece of advise though, be careful of how you start to feel about your husband’s friend.  If you allow yourself to hate him, it could cause discord between his relationship with your husband so tread carefully on that front.  Focus all your energy on your cousin and her hurt feelings.

Post # 4
Member
469 posts
Helper bee

I am so sorry you are in this position! Your poor cousin! I really don’t have any insight but I just wanted to say I’m sorry this is happening!

Post # 5
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Hey, I am in a LDR. And I must admit, that before trips to see my man I start feeling strange. I don’t call him as much the week before I leave. I can’t explain it…but after going for months with out seeing him, I always feel strange right before I see him. But then I see him and I just fall in love all over again. I love my baby to pieces. But it’s just hard being away for so long.

But as far as him not answering anybody’s calls and just disappearing like the govenor of SC or whatever his title is is NOT COOL. Especially after she spent so much $$. He better be in the emergency room or something. If not, tell your cousin to move on QUICK.

Post # 6
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

WEIRD! It’s not your fault; they TOTALLY hit it off before. The guy’s just weird!

Post # 7
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

i learned a longgggggggggggg time ago to not play matchmaker. if the topic ever comes up, like friends asking me to match them up, i just say no. because if it doesn’t work out, it always comes back to haunt you one way or the other.

Post # 8
Member
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I’ve had luck playing matchmaker, but then again it was the right people etc.  But you can never take the blame if it doesn’t work out.

Post # 9
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Hey – you didn’t force them together, don’t feel bad! It’s strange that he’s doing this, but your husband never dated him so maybe he’s just a different person to girls.

It sounds like he met someone else. That’s the only reason I can think of where all his behavior makes sense.

Post # 10
Member
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@cereza– I totally know what you mean! My FI and I barely talk the week before we see each other, but more because we know we’re going to be with each other soon & don’t need that everyday phone connection.

My FI and I have been LD for the past 3 1/2 years. He visited me 1st. Right before my first trip, I called him & told him I didn’t want to go. He freaked, I cried… but I sucked it up and got on the plane. The start of a new LD relationship is really scary. I think this guy is just insecure. The thought comes up a lot, "what if I’m not good enough or as good as she remembers" or vice versa. Another option is that he lied to her about something. If he didn’t want to go through with it & your DH says he’s a good guy– then he wouldn’t be ignoring her! Avoidance is common when someone isn’t truthful! 

LDR are stressful & not for everyone. It’s unfortunate that they’re both out of a lot of money and that your cousin is hurting.

Post # 11
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

@ RecessionistaBride Glad I’m not the only one, and glad I made some sense! I guess it’s something you really don’t understand unless you are in the situation. 

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