Post # 1
Bees, what have you learned through wedding planning?
One of the largest lessons I have learned through wedding planning is to lie about the date to get a lot of the accessories I need for the big day. Case in point: I ordered custom painted TOMS, and placed my order through an independent art shop in August. I’m still waiting on them because the artist insists I “don’t need them until June.” Uhhh, my wedding date is June 1. If I could go back, I would tell her that I need them by March 1. Hahaha.
Bees, what have you learned? What could you go back and change if you could?
Post # 3
All of my lessons have been based around money. We’re paying for it ourselves, so we either have to save/spend a buttload to get our dream wedding, or try to cut back and just have a typical wedding.
This is really hard for me because I was one of those girls who DREAMED of her wedding day. I didn’t realize how much they cost.
I grew up in a poor family, so it’s very hard for me to look at a pair of $150 shoes, and see it as a worthwhile purchase. Because to me, it isn’t. Yes, I have the money. But $150 will feed us for a week.
I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that everything I want, I won’t get. And that’s okay, but we’re trying very hard to make our wedding “us”. Something great on a moderate budget.
I’ve also learned that ebay is your friend! Gotten so many good deals on ebay!
Always, ALWAYS look on the web for a better deal. There’s no point in spending $1000 to RENT uplighting, when you can purchase it for under $300!
Post # 4
@mgol25: We learned the same lesson!
Estimate tax and gratuity for vendors and build that into your line item. Also, overestimate everything (how much things will cost, how much time something will take, etc etc).
Post # 5
I have learned that if you want quality you have to spend the $$$ to get it. My $600 dress from David’s bridal is going to end up costing me over $1000 to look and fit the way I want it too. So much for a ‘bargain’. Also, that all of the little ‘inconsequential’ purchases add up FAST. I have completely blown my budget not factoring those little (but necessary, in my mind anyway) extras.
Post # 6
I learned that if something is stressful is because I’m making it stressful and that if I don’t mention wedding, costs go down 😀
Post # 7
Now that it’s all over, I’ve learned to speak my mind. I kept so much in during this process that people had no idea the heartache I was experiencing.
I also learned a lot about the people in my life. My wedding should not have been the occassion to learn about family and supposed friends, but oh well.
Post # 8
@jenilynevette: EBAY! No doubt my best friend. And DIY’s. 🙂
Post # 9
Don’t IMPULSE BUY!! ESP the dress 🙁 still paying for that one 🙁
Post # 10
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
Oh lord, I have learned a lot through this process. Some lessons I could have done without
– the wedding industry is a bunch of bullshit- built on unrealistic expectations of a perfect day, inflated prices, outdated cliches, silly traditions, and encouragement of behavior you wouldn’t see EVER from the people you love. Celebrate your union however you want and don’t let the pressure get to you
– no one cares about your wedding as much as you do. most some people really don’t care at all
– Don’t reveal wedding/ design plans to anyone. they will just judge you and give you unsolicited advide
– vendors are always, always willing to bargain.
– unfortunately, no one cares about your centerpieces. or your monogrammed napkins or custom make cake topper. or your flower pomanders. Pick something not-super-ugly and be done with it. I am spending way too much time and money on my stupid centerpieces and for what?
– plan your projects/ meetings well in advance and chunk by chunk to not get overwhelmed
– carat size does not equal how much he loves you
@bebero: very true about it being as stressful because you make it stressful
Post # 11
The fact that I did not spend my entire childhood envisioning my perfect ring, perfect wedding, perfect bridal gown, perfect bridal figure, perfect age to get married, perfect bridal hair, perfect cake, perfect list of bridesmaids, perfect dresses to put them in, and so on, is not only nothing to be embarrassed or concerned about, but probably a very, very good thing for me and my FI. Relatedly, the fact that my family will not pressure me into having a particular type of wedding because they don’t see large weddings as desirable or as a way to broadcast family social status is something I should not take for granted. The way I was raised is probably largely why I never once dressed up for Hallowe’en as “a bride” or “princess” or “princess bride.” And I should thank them for that.
Post # 12
- Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings
I second what lealorali: said about vendors negotiatng. I didnt realize it until I responded to a few DJ quotes that were out of our price range with “Thanks but our budget is only $xxx so we are going a different direction.” Every one came back with a price drop! Wish I had learned that earlier in the game. I would have done that to other vendors rather than move onto the next company/ person.
Post # 13
@BetterSherm: Oh no, sorry 🙁
Wedding stress is temporary!
Invest in good food and wine.
Have a bad weather back up – even in July!
Check and double check everything and do not blindly trust vendors.
How hard it is to stick to a budget.
My mum is my best friend, and my friends were not all who I thought they were, and that people often let you down and mess you around unfortunately.
People love telling you what to do all the while saying it’s up to you.
It’s fun to be a princess for a day, and then be normal again!
All that really matters is my husband and marriage.
Post # 14
@mgol25: Can you tell her that you ordered them so far in advance because you want to wear them for engagement photos or something? Or contact her and put a deadline on the order? Just be like, i need the shoes to be completed by May 1st. Because I placed the order so far in advance, is that okay?
Post # 15
@AlyBear: I have emailed her numerous times, explaining the urgency because her store is a few towns over from me and I need to make a special trip out there. If she even grants me the courtesy of a reply, she’ll say, “I’ll get back to you” and never does. She totally makes me feel like a clingy ex-girlfriend! I really want to slag her on her Facebook page or some other social media, but I’m not that mean. I just want my shoes and to never have to think about this horrible transaction ever again!
My biggest problem is that I told her that my wedding is June 1, so she thinks the deadline is “sometime in June,” even though I’ve explained numerous times that I need them in May. She doesn’t seem to be able to get it through her brain that I need them soon. Like, now, ideally. If I could go back, I would have told her I needed them by March.
Post # 16
@jenilynevette: oh wow! we’ve been quoted high prices for uplighting but i feel like this really transforms the room! which buyer did you get them from? what kinds? and how many? if you don’t mind me asking..