- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
I detest him so much that if he, Hitler, and I were stranded together on a deserted island and I had a gun with one bullet, I would use it on myself because 1) I couldn’t possibly deal with either of them, and 2) I can think of no more fitting punishment for Hitler than to be stranded on a deserted island with this guy.
Oh lord do I hate him. The people in my department usually go to lunch together (we have a cafeteria in the building) and sometimes this guy shows up and decides to sit with us. I can’t even be nice to him at all — I can’t even fake it, because I hate him far too much. We both stand for everything the other finds abhorrent in the world.
I could go on all day about what a tool he is. But here’s my favorite story. One day, a group of us was at lunch and we were having a HILARIOUS conversation filled with laughter to the point of tears. I think we were talking about young skanks at the clubs or something — a vaguely inappropriate topic but holy hell was it funny. Well, Tool Guy walks over to our table and immediately we stop talking and laughing, like he was the teacher or the parent or something. He grins like an idiot and asks what we were talking about that had us all roaring with laughter.
One of the guys at the table says, in a perfect PERFECT deadpan, that we were talking about Thoreau’s Walden. And ya know what? HE BELIEVED US. And then sat down and talked for fifteen minutes straight about Walden, and how he gave it to his kid for Christmas and she just loooooved it, and blah blah blah. Seriously, guy? We were having an amazing rip-roaring discussion about skanks and now we’ve got to listen to you ramble about emm-effing WALDEN??!
Today, two coworkers and I were rapping about movies we’ve recently seen, or some such interesting topic. Guess who showed up and interrupted us with a story about some family member of his that’s in the hospital because she can’t stop projectile vomiting? Guess who told us that story. chewing with his mouth open the entire time, while we tried to enjoy our lunch? GO AHEAD AND GUESS WHO.
I just … I honestly don’t think I have ever found someone’s personality to be so distasteful in my life. I have sincerely disliked people, to be sure, but usually that was because they did something to me or otherwise actively earned that dislike. This guy, I can honestly say, I just cannot be around because of his personality. All I want to do is just scream “WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?”
Whew. Anyways …. just wanted to get that out, haha. Have you ever met someone whose personality was just such the opposite of yours that you couldn’t deal with them for longer than thirty seconds at a time?