- 4 years ago
- Wedding: November 2014
Has anyone else seen this article?
Has anyone else seen this article?
I read that earlier… While I agree that if people held off the celebration and were married for ten years first, and THEN had a big celebration, they might save money…and while I also agree that we should celebrate people’s actual accomplishments more than their easy ones…I do not think that many people celebrate their marriages ONLY because they want a big party. I had a party for my wedding because it was an exciting thing to celebrate.
But you know what? I think I agree with her. WHY ON EARTH IS MARRYING SOME GUY MORE WORTHY OF A HUGE PARTY THAN MY GRADUATION FROM AN IVY LEAGUE GRADUATE SCHOOL???? What the hell, world?
What an interesting concept. I grew in a society where no one got married and no one had baby showers. Guess what? I’m an attorney and I didn’t rush to get married or have a baby shower. I’m 29 and will be marrying in a few months. This author must be right! /end sarcasm
10 years after my wedding I had 2 toddlers and a newborn and was in no mood for hosting any parties.
A wedding is a perfect thing to celebrate, and doesn’t need to be over-the-top expensive.
@peachacid: I agree that far too many celebrations and rites do seem to generally assume that a woman’s real function is to be of use to someone else as a wife or a mother. Those “doctorates” and “careers” and things are just temporary–or, if she doesn’t drop them when she becomes a wife and mother, obviously they must become secondary.
[edited out observations that stray too far from the OP/posted article.]
@MarriedToMyWork: I agree. I feel like people get more excited over engagements, weddings, and babies than career related hurdles. No one threw me a party when I finished my doctorate, something that took 7 years and was more expensive than my future wedding will be.
I think we should be celebrating things that also reflect women’s changing, new, more equal standing in our society. Yes, you know what, imma be the first woman I my WHOLE family (mother’s and father’s side, 2nd &3rd cousins included) who will be getting a Master’s degree, and do I think that HUGE acomplishment deserves a huge party with a costom fitted dress, huge dinner and a registry, SURE, but will I get one, probably not. I may get a party bc my folks threw me one for my BA (first woman to get that one too, with my two cosins and sister following my lead).
I may through a huge Who-Ha-Ha for my daughter’s REAL acomplishments.
my mom threw me a party when I got my Master’s degree (I was a 1st generation college grad) so I don’t really understand the argument.
Pretty sure when I get my PhD (well, plan to haven’t started working on it yet) there will be a big ole party so screw that comparison. And actually, when I went off to college my direct family got me more presents than when I got married. They knew I was broke and going off to live away from home, when I got married I a job, was finishing school for a better job and already had a house of stuff because I had been living alone for two years. If the author thought there many other things to have spent $15000 on, maybe she shouldn’t have had a $15000 reception a year after she was married? While I get the point, she comes off kind of self righteous. All the teen moms I know became social pariahs and sure weren’t having big lavish baby showers like she seems to think they all do. So yeah. While some people just want a pretty princesses day, it isn’t limited To young people, look at these boards alone, plenty of 30+ women who still want a princess party.
I can’t really get on board with this article for a couple of reasons.
First reason – The argument that you spent so much money to be a part of somebody else’s day and they’re not even together anymore to me isn’t really a valid argument. I can understand the frustration, but in all fairness, if you’re going to be bitter about it later, than you shouldn’t shell out the money in the first place. Respectfully decline, and attend as a guest if you can. I was in my best friends wedding to her ex-husband and it doesn’t matter how much money I spent to be in it, I still am very honored to have been a part of a day that changed her life. Yes, it sucks they’re not together anymore, but that has nothing to do with me. I was there to support my friend for her wedding, and I was there to support my friend for her divorce.
I’m not really going to get into the whole baby shower part, because again, if you don’t really want to be there, then don’t go.
Second reason – There’s nothing anywhere that says you CAN’T throw a party for whatever the hell you want. Absolutely you should celebrate graduations, promotions, whatever. Just because there isn’t a television show about it doesn’t mean it’s not significant.
So much of what is on tv is meant to sucker people in, people just like the writer of the article, to get them to buy into the business. TV should not dictate what is important to a girl, or a boy. That is the parent’s job. My mother instilled in me that major changes in a person’s life – school, work, marriage, babies, or even reaching a personal goal, should be celebrated. It just so happens that people are more vocal about celebrating babies and weddings. That doesn’t mean we should shun them for it! This society has turned into a bunch of whiners about anything. If next year there were 32 shows about lavish graduation and promotion parties, people would be bitching about that.
Point is – don’t let what is on “reality” tv dictate to you what is important. And don’t ban something that is important to someone else just because you don’t agree with it. Baby showers and weddings aren’t hurting anybody. If you don’t agree with them, politely decline to go. Don’t shit in my cereal because it’s not YOUR favorite cereal.
*gets off soap box*
@peachacid: I graduated from law school the same time my little sister had a baby- for our family, it was definitely a bigger deal for her to have a baby. Thanks family! It’s not like I haven’t been working towards this for the last 10 years and neither of my parents graduated college, let alone grad school!
@DrD711: I passed the CA Bar Exam last month (my first try and the pass rate was 58%), which I think is a pretty major accomplishment and enables me to be a licensed attorney ( a life goal of mine) and most of my family and friends just said, “I knew you would.” I don’t need a dinner reception for 100, but a celebratory dinner or something would ahve been nice. But that was it, beides one of my dear sweet friends (who is a 4th year PhD student) who sent me a card in the mail- Can’t tell you how much I appreciate her! I’m making a personal vow to celebrate the non-wedding/baby related life accomplishments 🙂 I think banning baby and wedding showers is extreme, but I think other accomplishments should get celebrated and recognized too!
@Sapphire-Dreamer: I completely agree 🙂 It starts with us!!