Post # 1
- Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia
I’m sure we all need a good laugh once in a while!
When we were lining up at the grocery store cashier, FI caught me peeking at covers of bridal magazines. So, FI asked me, “Why did Watermelon and Honey Dew had a big wedding?”
Stumped, I replied, “Why?”
“Because they cant-aloupe.”
Post # 3
What do you call a grizzly bear with no teeth?
…a gummy bear…heyo…
Why didn’t they every hang pirates with a peg leg?
…you need a rope, not a peg…
Post # 4
@Cynderbug: I remember that joke from when I was little. Here’s my joke:
What does a house wear to a party?
Answer: A dress!
Post # 5
*Knock knock* Who’s there?
*Centipede* Centipede who?
Santa peed on the christmas tree!!
What kind of bees make milk? Boo-bees!!
I looove corney jokes 🙂
Post # 6
What do you call a nosy pepper?
I don’t know if it’s because i was over tired when I heard this one but I died
What did the dad buffalo say to the child buffalo when he dropped him off at school?
I’ll be here all week, folks!
Post # 7
What washes up on really small beaches?
When does it rain money?
When there’s a change in the weather.
Courtesy of Laffy Taffy 🙂
Post # 8
@Jellybones: LOL! I cracked up at the first one!
Post # 9
Ooh, I LOVE corny jokes! Here’s mine.
What does the perverted frog say?
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
@LadyBlackheart: Haaaaa that one made ma laugh 😛
What do you call cheese that belongs to someone else?
Post # 11
This one is courtesy of a well respected doctor I work with:
A normal middle aged man works at a pickle factory for 20 odd years. It’s a boring job, but it pays the bills. Eventually though, he starts having these weird feelings and fantasies about putting his penis in the pickle slicer! It’s such an odd notion that it freaks him out and his wife convinces him to see a psychiatrist. He goes to the psychiatrist regularly, hoping to get rid of these thoughts and urges to put his penis in the pickle slicer. Alas, after months of therapy, it was of no help. His desires just kept increasing to put his penis in the pickle slicer. The psychiatrist agreed that the only way to clear his head was to just get it over with and put his penis in the pickle slicer. So he gathers up the courage and goes to work the next day. When he came home early he told his wife that he had finally went and done the deed. Mortified, she pulled down his pants and was surprised. His penis was still intact! She was very confused by this. She said to him “What’s going on? What happened to the pickle slicer?” He said “oh, she got fired too”!
Post # 12
Two eggs are in a pot of boiling water.
One says to the other “Sorry it’s taking me so long to get hard – I just got laid a few minutes ago”
Post # 13
@Cynderbug: Oh yay! I love cheesy jokes so much! 😀 Okay, here’s the only one I can remember off the top of my head:
Why didn’t the skeleton dance at his prom?
Because he had no body to dance with.
Post # 14
A man walked into a bar.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
Post # 15
Two canibals are sitting on an island eating a clown. One turns to the other and says “does this taste funny to you?”
Post # 16
@Jellybones: Bahaha I just cracked up at the buffalo one!
I may have to pinch it for my pub quiz bonus round name tonight 😛