- 4 years ago
- Wedding: February 2012
I think it was around the beginning of June when I wrote a post about how my husband and I were officially going to be TTC that month. I’m a teacher, and so I was trying my best to plan a baby that would come towards the end of the academic year or at the beginning of the summer (depending on when I would actually get pregnant). Well, my mom gifted me an OPK to start monitoring my ovulation, and things began like I planned they would.
Well shortly after we started trying (and I got a little worried about a few things I was seeing on the OPK), it became clear that I would be joining a specific insurance once we move this summer. (My whole family is moving – dad to one state, and mom, husband, sister and I to another state, though we won’t all be living together!) It just never occurred to me that pregnancy would be a pre-exisiting condition when joining new insurance! I guess I was just so excited about TTC and so preoccupied with the move and the two family obligations we had in June (we went out of town for the the entire month practically for things with my husband’s family), that I just wasn’t thinking about the insurance the way I should’ve been.
My mom (who I’m very close with) sort of freaked out when she heard that the insurance company would consider pregnancy a pre-existing condition, and so I went into the doctor’s office to get a beta hCG test. I’m pretty sure that’s what I got, since I heard the nurse ask if a beta was ordered. I thought the whole thing was a little crazy, considering I’ve never heard of someone being able to take a pregnancy test a day or two after BD! But because of the insurance issue, that’s what we did. The test came back negative, and I did breathe a sigh of relief because I knew if it was positive we’d have an issue with the insurance company.
Very soon after this mess (like, the next day) my husband made some sort of revelation about his career. Basically, to make a long story short, my husband got a degree in one field and chose not to pursue it after college. He felt like he’d made the wrong choice, had been listening to guidance that wasn’t right for him, and wasn’t mature enough to really figure out what he wanted. Now he’s a few years post-degree and he really wants to give his degree a shot. He’s grown up tremendously in the last few years, and I know he’s finally thinking with a clear head. Well we’re young enough that I’m more than willing to support my husband following his dreams (now is the ideal time in his life to do so), so when we move he’ll be getting an internship (most likely unpaid). I’m fine with that since I’m the main breadwinner right now anyway, but it doesn’t make it ideal for baby! So we had a conversation that we would wait a little while longer until things with his job situation become more stable. I was happy knowing I’d have some more time with my husband all to myself, and I felt at peace with the decision.
Well, now to the issues. Everything was squared away, but then July 5 and 6 rolled around and I didn’t get AF. I’m NEVER late and always operate on a standard 29-30 day schedule, with maybe one day variation. Now this very well could be NOTHING, and I’m just pysching myself out (after all, we were trying). I’m putting off buying a test becuase I just want to wait and see what happens. But what if… I have conflicting feelings because OF COURSE I want to be pregnant! If we didn’t want it now we would not have been trying! At the same time.. see issues ^above^! I just wanted to get this off my chest and talk it out!