Let's share irritating MIL/ family stories! Vent Post

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 5
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Im not married yet but i wil lbe next week.. my FMIL lives in the backyard ina tent becuase she is a drug addict and is not allowed to stay “in the house”, and she was tired of being homeless… yaaa at least she mostly keeps to herself.. lol 

Post # 6
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

Sounds like she’s a judgemental old jerk! Yikes, try to keep your distance.

Post # 8
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@ames12708:  Ya the irritating part is that the whole family is full of enablers.. thank god FI isnt like that.. 

Post # 10
4413 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Haha my FIL is the most well-meaning man ever, but he is a total doormat and it drives me CRAZY. I am pregnant with his first and only grandchild (DH is an only child) so naturally FIL is excited … but his excitement annoys the crap out of me. I know it’s terrible and I shouldn’t feel this way, but I totally do. He keeps saying he wants to buy us something, and he keeps asking what he should buy us, so I tell him where we’re registered. Nothing happens. Then he comes to visit and we go to the baby store and DH and I are very obviously fawning over this awesome comfortable glider chair. FIL does nothing. Then the next day he’s like “oh hey, should I buy you that glider chair?” and we’re like, wtf, WE AREN’T AT THE STORE ANYMORE! WHY DIDN’T YOU BUY IT YESTERDAY?!?! It’s so bad because I know he just wants to do anything to help, but he’s so clueless I just want to shake him sometimes. 😛

And then MIL is just a bit weird. She’s absolutely sweet and will be a wonderful grandmother, but she’s into some, errrr, offbeat things. Like, she’s really spiritual and maybe a little bit into witchcraft and what-have-you. I have no problem with this at all and think it’s really interesting, but she recently ‘warned’ me that she was going to be sending some things for the baby that “aren’t usual baby gifts.” I’m like, uh oh. I hope it’s not, like, pig fetus in a jar or taxidermied bats or something. How about just getting us, I don’t know, maybe some burp cloths??

At least they both mean well, even if they aren’t the most practical people ever!

Post # 12
1609 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

OMG, I’ve been waiting for a thread like this!!!!

The week before DH and I got married, MIL (DH’s dad was killed about 24 years ago) took me out to lunch and asked what she could do to help plan (kinda late don’t ya think!?).  Anyway, she went on about how she’s worried about DH because he drinks. DH told me in that in middle school highschool he did drink all the time and that’s just what his friends did. (I’m sorry, why aren’t you keeping an eye on your 7th grade kid and try doing something to keep him from drinking!?) Since I’ve met DH, he only drinks when he’s out with friends and never drinks to the point of over doing it.  At lunch, MIL told me that she thinks I should have an intervention for DH because he’s an alcholic.  I flat out told her no, he’s not an alcholic and there would be no intervention.  On the way home, I bawled and called DH to tell him what happened.  He called his mom and chewed her ass out.  He told her that if she didn’t apologize for making me upset, she was not welcome at the wedding. She apologized to him, but I’m still waiting for one.

The night we told our parents that I’m pregnant, one of the first things out of her mouth was that she WILL BE COMING OVER every night and day (umm…she works nights) to take care of the baby because DH and I won’t want anything to do with the baby. She said she’s going to do all the feedings and changing the diapers. I’d like to know how she’s going to do the feedings because I will be nursing.

She also TOLD ME that I have to make sure the hospital has big rooms because she and the family (DH’s aunts, uncles, cousins etc.) WILL BE in the room during both labor and delivery.

She took DH and I out to dinner a few weeks ago and she again, TOLD ME that when the baby is 4, she’s going to take him/her to Disney World and I don’t have a choice.  I guess I had the look of “wtf?” on my face and she said that she doesn’t care if I don’t want her to or not, she’s taking the baby at age 4 and she’s already starting to plan the trip. She has timeshares, so she plans vacations way early.  DH has told me that when he was little, his mom had no idea where he was half the time, he would go running off to play in the woods or across town (a smallish town) to a friends house and she never knew where he was.  She’s told me the same thing.  I’m sorry, but if you won’t keep an eye on your own kid at home, there’s no way in hell I’m letting you take my child to Disney World without me!

I have soooo many more stories, but my mom is on her way to pick me up to go to dinner!

Post # 13
1083 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Oh man…I dont’ even know if I should start on this topic…I could go on and on and on…I’ll give you a few things: 


-MIL has always been very opinionated and thinks her opinion and ideas are THE BEST options for everything.  It is SO annoying.  She also is quite the attention whore and loves to brag about crap…when we were getting married she kept calling it “their party” and just going on and on about things that she thought I should/shouldn’t do.  That should have been my clue that it would be equally as bad with a baby…about 2 months into our engagement, she and I were alone so she had to have a little talksie with me about how she wants her grandchildren baptized Catholic (DH is Catholic, I am not).  I cried after that knowing that having “HER” grandchildren would not be easy 🙁 


-Fast forward to after marriage: she started pressuring us to have kids right away.  She would give me and other SIL (she was pressuring them to have kids, too) FERTILITY advice and she told us to “let her know if we wanted to know how to make boy babies.” Excuse me?! Just because you had 2 boys doesn’t mean you know the freaking secret to creating boy babies…nor would I want to hear from you about which sex positions or which days of our cycle we should have sex to optimize our chances for a boy (which are complete bogus anyways).  She probably feels as though we “obliged” her by getting pregnant only 5 months after getting married, but it was because we both had crazy baby fever, not to please the MIL.  She probably still thinks it’s the other way around. 


-This is their first grandchild, so DH was really excited to tell them bc he knew they’d be excited.  We told them when I was only 6 weeks and hadn’t even told my parents yet because I knew my parents would be a little less excited.  We specifically asked them to not tell anyone else since it was so early. Well, MIL went and told a bunch of people anyways…I was so pissed! I know it’s because she wanted to get the attention by telling people she was going to be a grandma, where as that should have been OUR news to share and OUR congratulations to receive.  Ugh I was pissed. I cried. She acted like it was no big deal at all bc she thinks she is the queen and can do whatever she wants. 


-We will not be sharing our name choice with the super-judgemental MIL, but she keeps bugging us about it anyways.  We told her we are not going to tell names but she continues to ask about it and even make SUGGESTIONS of names that SHE likes…umm hello? This is OUR baby, NOT YOURS! 


-She made DH ask me about the whole baptism thing again to make sure that we were going to baptize him Catholic.  OMG lady, butt out of our freaking lives already!  YES we will baptize your precious grandchild catholic, but because it is important to DH not because you want us to!  Arrgggh. 


-She asked me what I planned to do for birth and I said I wasn’t really sure but was going to try and go without an epidural if I could.  She then proceeded to tell me that that was crazy, and she got opioid pain meds with both of her kids at birth and they turned out just fine, so don’t even do the epidural, just get a shot of morphine (or something, I can’t remember which drug she got).  Umm…that’s not really done anymore, but thanks anyways…..


-She also told me that she drank a beer once in a while while being pregnant and it really won’t hurt a thing!  Ok lady…sorry I am not going to be boozing it up while I’m pregnant.  It’s just as easy to not have any alcohol as it is to have a beer and then feel guilty about it. 


-Whenever I sent her an u/s photo, she always had to text me back bragging about her kids’ u/s’s and how her first son had arms and legs and was already waving at their 12 week u/s! I had to seriously restrain myself from telling her that ALL babies have limbs by the time they are 12 weeks unless there is seriously something wrong with them…I am in medical school and know quite a bit about embryology..but I didn’t bc I have the decency of not making her look stupid (heaven forbid).  


-She asked me what they should get for when our baby has to nap/spend the night at their house….I told her she could probably find a very gently used pac ‘n play off Craigslist or something and that would work fine…she then proceeded to tell me that she would NEVER buy anything used for a baby, much less off Craigslist.  Well excuse me for trying to save you some money!  So I told her to just go buy a brand new one then…ugh. I have also bought used baby stuff already, so thanks for the slap in the face MIL. 


Oh my I could probably keep going but I really need to get back to studying.  I have been trying to avoid the in-laws like the plague for this pregnancy bc she just stresses me out so much..I literally dread seeing her every time we have to..UGH!  It doesn’t help that they live 15 min away…FML.  I always wonder how such a wonderful man (my DH) was raised by a bat-sh*t crazy lady.  Blows my mind. 


Bahahaha: ETA one more thing: MIL is a very much bigger lady (and short) and I was a size 2/4 pre-pregnancy and am pretty tall. She told me that when I started getting bigger she had some size 14 pants that she never wore that I could have.  Umm..maternity clothes don’t really work like that, and NO THANKS I don’t want your pants…weird!!! 

Post # 14
178 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Fall_In_Love22:  Yikes, sounds like your going to need to set some serious boundaries!!

Post # 15
2884 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

when its just me and her, my MIL keeps saying to me “we’re going to have a baby”!!! all excited. and i like that shes excited but part of me is like “*we* as in you and me aren’t having a baby, *we* as in your son and i are. you are not part of this process” its just occasionally ill have flashes of feeling super protective and wanting to keep her at arms length

also because its uber uber early….i told her that we werent telling non family members i was pregnant. and she casually mentioned it to a friend of hers in front of me today. friend came to lunch and suddenly “oh by the way, newname and my sno are having a baby”/i was shocked. DH did this to me yesterday, i dont know why they both dont understand – “this early, mouths shut. tell no one”. its really made me angry =( christ knows how many other people 

@cowgirlace:  ooh i noticed what you said about the baptism. DH and i had a mixed marriage (me being the non catholic one) which involved pre-marriage talks. im just discovering that there might also be some baptism talks =O  im hoping not! my MIL is super catholic too. 

@iarebridezilla:  i want to know what kind of gifts she has in mind!!

Post # 16
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Kandiss16:  Man, I thought OP was going to win the shittiest IL award… And there you were! WOAH.

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