Post # 1
I was chatting with my therapist pre-wedding about the things that really annoy me about FI. It was a cold-feet excercise and it helped get me through. Thank goodness for therapy.
Anywho…during the dicussion I get mostly upset with FI regarding “chores”. For instance this evening I gather up laundry from our bedroom and head toward the basement door.
FI: Honey what are you doing?
Me: Going to do laundry
FI: Leave it in front of the door I’ll take care of it in a minute
(Now that seemed super suspicous. He worked 12 hours and now wants to do laundry. Hmmm. No way. Then I heard him get off the couch and walking quickly towards the kitchen)
Me: Lovey I got it
Fi: You’re going to get mad at me if you go down there
And boy was he right. I go downstairs and discover 2 loads of clean laundry stacked on top of the dryer. Not folded totally wrinkled and now smell like basement. The washing machine lid was open and there was wet towels in there. Now all 3 loads have to be rewashed!
So I wondered has anyone ever created a chore list for themselves and their spouse. Like a “mom” style list? I am contemplating this in order to keep the chore fighting to a minimal level. What do you think?
Post # 3
@mwitter80: My FI is just lazy. I blame his mother. She was a SAHM and did everything for her children. Sucks in the long run when your grown ass son can’t pick up his effing socks because SAHM mom was always behind him cleaning up.
I go on strike every once in a while. I cook my own meals, do my own laundry, do my own dishes. lol He gets the hint and helps out but that only lasts a few weeks.
Post # 4
i have a chore list! it’s the only way we remember to do things. it has categories for daily, weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, seasonally.
Post # 5
We have chores divided up too. I always do laundry, he always unloads the dishwasher and takes out the trash. It works well for us, because otherwise things never get done :p
Post # 6
I’m a SAHM, but my SO takes care of his own laundry. Alot of my friends who are also SAHM’s can’t believe that I don’t do his laundry! In my house, if the dirty laundry isn’t in the basket then I don’t wash it, and my SO is always leaving dirty clothes at the bottom of his closet.
Post # 7
@Miss Tattoo: Are our FI’s brothers?!
FI doesn’t do a damn thing around the house but I guess thats partially my fault since I don’t really pressure him to do so. I handle all the cooking and cleaning but I’m also kind of OCD and have the mentality that if I want it done right, I’ll do it myself. Sometimes it gets annoying but he’s rarely a jerk about it. If I ask him to do something, he’ll do it. I just don’t really ask.
Post # 8
@Miss Tattoo: Ditto!! My DH never had chores as a child, which I just don’t understand. His parents treated him like the prince of the family, and I think his mother would still cut up his food at dinner if he let her. That being said, he’s good about helping out if I ask and am very specific about what I want him to do (aka, can’t say “clean up the living room”–I have to say, “Can you vacuum and sort through the mail on the front table?”).
Post # 9
My FH has a profession that they work long and hard in spurts so he is home in large spurts. When he is home he does most everything and when he is working I do it. Works out great for our schedules. I do, however, have to redo the dishes occasionally, but I will take it over the alternative. The deep cleaning he always leaves to me and he does all the outside work. I told him when we first started looking for our house, that there is one thing I will never do – mow the lawn. I get sick everytime I do, so we agreed that the inside deep is mine and the outside is his.
Post # 10
Thankfully FI and I are split on the things we just hate doing…he doesn’t mind dishes and I loathe them, and vice versa for laundry. I like kitzy’s idea for a weekly/bi-monthly/monthly/seasonally list for after we’re married, it will help to go over the main chores that need doing so we don’t feel like we’re constantly asking one another to remember this or that.
Post # 11
We do not have a list but we just both try to pitch in and do things equally. However there are certain chores that only one of us does. He always takes out the trash, cleans out the fridge and washes the dishes. Meanwhile I’m the only one who dusts, washes the sinks, tubs and toilettes and cleans out the cat’s litter box. It works for us and that way neither one feels taken advantage of and I don’t have to be his mother.
Post # 12
I just think it is totally ridiculous that we are expected to make chore lists for grown-ass men!! GAH! He knows as well as I do what needs to be done, I shouldn’t have to spell it out for him.
Anyways, we split stuff, but I still don’t think it’s 50/50, but it works for us. He does most of the cooking (I cook maybe 1 night every 2 weeks) and all of the dishes and I do everything else.
Post # 13
@UpstateCait: That’s my problem too. If he does it and it’s not done a certain way, I end up doing it over. After a while I’m just like just stop. I’ll do it.
Post # 14
I definitely have a chore list Actually FI helped make it up. Now whether we stick to it…that’s another thing.
Post # 15
i work longer hours and have a more demanding career but the only thing my hubby has to do is take the garbage out and clean his own toilet and thats it. i do every single other thing and thats how i prefer it
Post # 16
I am blessed with a clean fanatic DH. I’m not working right now, so I do all the cleaning and around the house chores, but he still cleans up after dinner every night and does the dishes.
When I am working, we clean together every Saturday and, to be honest, he does the lion’s share of the work. He cleans the kitchen, bathrooms and vaccuums, and I dust, declutter/tidy and steam clean the floors.
I got lucky – although sometimes his obsession with cleaning does drive me nuts…I guess the grass is always greener!