Post # 1
Prenups seem to be such a delicate topic. Nobody likes to imagine things not working out, but I think it’s an important conversation to have.
Just out of curiosity,
Are you and your partner signing a prenup?
Here in the province of Quebec, Canada prenups do not hold any legal merit, but since my FI is a business owner, there is a clause with his investors which states that when/if he gets married, we would need to sign an agreement which excludes the business from the family patrimony. I’m toally fine with this as I would never feel comfortable –worst comes to worst– parting with half of his business he built from the ground up before he even knew me.
Post # 3
@Petite_Fraise: Does this exclude posthumous circumstances? I’d not be comfortable with signing that away.
Post # 4
My FI and I are both students with lots of debt. Neither of us have anything to protect with a prenup. However, if we had unequal incomes prior to getting married, we probably would get one.
Post # 5
@StuporDuck: No, what is earned after the wedding is a part of the family patrimony and there is nothing you can do to change it. (here in Quebec anyways). is that what you mean??
Edit: just googled posthumous. After death the business would go to whomever he would leave it to in his will, in which case there is nothing his investors could do to prevent him from leaving it to me.
Post # 7
I voted I want him to sign one and he wont. I still have a fair amount of student debt that I’m in the process of paying off. I want him to sign one so he doesn’t get saddled with my debt. He doesn’t want to at all. He see’s my debt as his responsability once we’re married, even if something were to happen to me.
Post # 8
I will most certainly be making more than FI (in a few years) but he will someday get a hefty inheritance, which I won’t. Ultimately, though, it is not about who will earn/inherit. I want to sign one to protect HIM because I will be physician, and if I ever get sued (which WILL happen, no matter how good I am, because of my specialty) I don’t want them coming after his money. He feels that signing one is like admitting that one of us will cheat, but I think that is silly and childish. Infidelity leading to divorce is not the only reason to sign a prenup, right ladies?
Post # 9
We didn’t need one, but I would not have been opposed to signing one if it we had needed it.
Post # 10
My mom wants us to sign a prenup… My mom and I own a house together and she owns property in Florida and her condo here, so she doesn’t want my FI to get anything if I die after her. She wants it all to go to my son.
Which is logical and reasonable. But I do not like prenups, to me after marriage everything should be divided equally no matter what. (yes, I am old-fashioned LOL)
Post # 11
@LilDrAnya: I couldn’t agree more. People are so afraid to think about their relationship ending that they sometimes forget what’s rational and logical. FI and I love each other to pieces and would not be getting married unless we knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with each other. Signing a prenup is not admitting to a failure in your relationship, it’s just being diligent. In your case, you need to protect him against the potential consequences of joint liability (me too since FI is personally liable for his business).
Post # 12
Fi’s first marriage didn’t end well and he doesn’t want to risk re-living the dividing of assets and debts; on the flip side, I own the home we live in, or at least the bank owns it but I bought many years ago and have built a lot of equity, and I have quite a few investments. We truly feel we’re going to be together forever, but on that .000001% chance we’re not, it will eliminate a lot of stress and heartache to have this already sorted.
Post # 13
We contemplated signing one (I got the whole “when two families of means join together” talk from my dad) however we decided against it. I understand the logic, but it’s just not for us.
Post # 14
I’m an “other”…. I am in the final stages of buying my first home, and we marry 2 months after. FI is not putting any money into the house because he’s still paying down some debts, so it’s truly my house that I’ve been saving for years to buy. I want the house to be mine if anything goes wrong. I’d hate to have to sell it and divvy everything up, that would just add to the stress and heartache.
However, we haven’t really discussed any of this yet. I was just kind of assuming he knows it’s my house, but maybe he does believe it’s half his after marriage. *sigh* Deep convo coming up!
Post # 15
@capergrrl: I should have voted the same way you did. I have a bunch of student loan debt, and he has retirement funds, etc., and I told him that I think we should do one to keep those separated. Nope, he doesn’t want to because it’ll be our debt and our retirement fund. He doesn’t have student loan debt, lucky guy.
Post # 16
I voted Other. My DH and I did not sign a prenup not because we didn’t believe in or agree with them … but we didn’t see the point in them. I’m fresh outta college, he’s been outta college not that much longer, neither of us have assets that we feel are worth protecting from the other.