Letter for church ceremony usage **Need Advice

posted 2 years ago in Christian
Post # 2
Member
11712 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You might be out of luck.  If you have no ties to their church, their religion, and only minimal ties to your home church, it’s going to come across like you want to get married in their church because it’s a pretty space, and not because of any religious ties or convictions. 

Post # 3
Member
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

JiminyCricket:  That about covers it.

 

OP, have you considered a local Baptist church? Or a Unitarian Universalist faith center? (The latter tends not to be picky.) I don’t think most churches are going to be very receptive to someone with no ties to their faith, congregation, or town picking their location because it’s nice-looking.

Post # 4
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

JiminyCricket:  +1

OP, it sounds like you picked this place purely for aethetics, and that’s not really what they want to hear.  Are there any other Baptist churches in your area?  You might have better luck with those.  Or even any “non-denominational” churches- they tend to be in college towns, but it could be worth a shot.

ETA: Why do you want to get married in a church anyways?

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  .
Post # 5
Member
42453 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think this is one of the most frustrating things that churches have to deal with- people who do not attend church, but want to be married in one for aesthetic reasons.

How long have you lived in the community where you now reside?

The Unitarian Church is known to be very welcoming but their church may not meet your aesthetic standards.

Post # 6
Member
2210 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1987

Can I ask why you feel it is so important to get married in a church?  Any why this particular church?

Do you plans to have contact with this church after your wedding?  

I think that you should ring up the minister and have a chat about what it is that you would like and what you believe.  If it is clear that the church concerned  only marries church members then you can ask him or her to suggest other churches that you might like to consider.

It’s a shame that churches have these rules but luckily Jesus will be present at your wedding whether you marry in church or not.  (He has a soft spot for weddings.)

 

 

 

 

Post # 8
Member
2791 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

If it doesn’t work out… look for a non-demoninational community church if you have one in the area.  They’re much more open and there more to serve the community than preach any 1 specific reglion. They’re much more inclusive and welcoming. 

Post # 9
Member
2210 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1987

Talk to the minister first and then fill in  the form.  The minister will then know that you are people of faith rather than a couple just looking for a pretty venue. 

Post # 10
Member
6021 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

You might increase your chances by actually going to the potential ceremony church for services and participating in their community events for a little while before applying. 

Post # 12
Member
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

If you don’t know what the application process entails or how one would go about becoming a Presby member, then you aren’t “grounded in the teachings of the church.” Maybe in the broader sense of Christianity, yes, but not that particular church. I’m afraid I will have to side with the church on this one: aesthetics isn’t a good reason to pick a house of worship, nor for the record is “it’s cheaper.” Maybe with a banquet hall or a reception caterer, but not a center of faith.

 

I myself am spiritual, not religious, but I believe God (however you define him or her) can be at the center of ANY relationship, ceremony, or wedding. What matters is the devotion of the couple and the feelings therein, not the physical structure in which it takes place. Could you have your home Baptist minister come to your new town and conduct a wedding in a spot that makes you feel connected to the universe (ex: a garden)?

Post # 14
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

MrsHistory-Bee:  I don’t know if this will help, but I wasn’t a member of the church we got married in. In fact, at that time I wasn’t a member anywhere. We were going to church at our current church, but weren’t members yet. Most churches denied us because we weren’t members or because we wanted the pastor from “our” church. So I had asked the pastor marrying us where we could possibly check. She gave us the name of a church that she has preached at before, and we called and they allowed us to be married there.

I want to add that, giveb our circumstances and our denomination, we really couldn’t be picky. We were just glad to have a church that said yes, and we were willing to pay the couple hundred dollars to get married there.

Post # 15
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

MrsHistory-Bee:  “isn’t denying a couple the ability to marry in a church because you don’t know a member a petty reason.”

On the surface, yes.  But I’m guessing that’s not the only reason.  You said you’re Baptist.  The first churcch you applied for was ARP.  I’m not sure of the intricate differences, but I know they’re different.

I’m guessing (so I could be wrong) that in this case, if a couple does not follow the faith, an exception can be made for those who are “associated” with someone in the church.

That said, this comes from a Catholic understanding.  Can’t get married in a Catholic Church without the bridge and/or groom being Catholic, no exceptions.  Yes, it is exclusive, but it’s a faith based exclusion, and I can’t understand why someone would want to get married in a Catholic Church with a Catholic ceremony when they have zero ties.  So I’m projecting that feeling into my replies.

What denomination were you planning on being baptized in?

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