(Closed) Letting the crazy out of the bag……

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
2091 posts
Buzzing bee

Oh man, my crazy spills out all the time. Like a couple weeks ago when I yelled at Fiance for putting his cans of pop in the fridge but not any of mine. Not a huge deal, obviously, but I was pissed. It turned into a whole “you’re being inconsiderate/you don’t think about me/you don’t care about my feelings” type fight. At least I can blame that one on hormones though! ๐Ÿ˜›

Honestly though.. I’m not entirely sure why you don’t want him to go to the party. Is it just because you don’t know the girl? I can relate to that, but you just need to ask yourself if it’s really worth getting mad over. What I’d do is invite myself along; if you both go you’ll probably end up having a really fun time. If not, hey at least now you know who Dina is. 


Post # 4
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

It definitely sounds like you guys need to both calm down and talk about the situation calmly without letting your emotions get in the way, which I KNOW can be super hard to do when you are feeling so upset. Clearly, his issue is that he feels like you are overreacting (even though you really aren’t.) If you sit and talk about it calmly then maybe he will be more willing to listen to what you have to say. I think sometimes when guys can tell we (women) are upset, they immediately turn on that defensive attitude and refuse to listen. After you have calmed down tell him your concerns. Tell him that you don’t want to be one of “those girls” but that you are worried about him not telling you about this party and not inviting you. THis might be a good time to bring up the facebook issue just so you can get it resolved. That is not something, however trivial it might be, to keep stored up inside especially since it is bothering you. 

Best of luck to you! I am sure you guys will work it out!!

Post # 5
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I would definitely have an issue with not being invited if it is not some sort of guys’ night out thing.

If you’re a couple and your social circle knows you are a couple, then IMO it’s just plain rude for somerone to extend an invitation to one person but not the other half of the couple. I would also feel it extremely inconsiderate of my mate to accept said invitation without any consideration of my feelings.

However, I would not “freak out” or have a fit; I’d discuss it with him and get his side and see if we can resolve it. If he is truly not considerate of your feelings and doesn’t cherish your limited time together, then maybe you both need to rethink things around how you communicate with one another?

Post # 6
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

I’ve experienced something similar and what it boils down to for me is that my SO sometimes makes last-minute decisions and doesn’t talk it through with me and that’s what bothers me.  It’s not what the decision is or anything, it’s that he decided something without informing me there was anything to decide upon!  That’s totally fine if he wants to do something and makes a decision, that’s great; but what I do want to know is that he’s thinking something over, and maybe talk it over with me.  And by talk it over with me, I don’t mean I have to have a say in it, just that he bounces his ideas off of me and I bring up some ideas or other ways of looking at the decision, I don’t need to approve of his final decision.  I wonder if that’s what’s bugging you?

The flipside of this that I have also experienced is my guy thinks we discussed it when it actually never came up.  Like I’m in his head when he’s thinking it over and honestly believes that it was a real conversation!  That’s just adorable!  So maybe that happened and he was too defensive to say so.

Post # 8
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@stardustintheeyes: “Its nice to know though that despite the screw ups we both can be we know how to work things through and come to a decision that we are both happy with.”

That is extremely important. Way more important than not having a blow up in the first place.

Post # 10
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

My crazy comes out when I’m PMSing.  I have really bad mood swings and irrational outburtsts.  It’s amazing he puts up with me.

I think the sollution here, is to go to him with your tail between your legs and apologize for last nights behavior, but also make sure that you’re letting him know, in a calm and rational manner, what REALLY bothers you about the situation…then you guys have the talk you didn’t get around to having last night.  Then, maybe you can suggest that you’d like to attend the party with him, so then you get to spend time and he gets to go to the party. 

Post # 11
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@stardustintheeyes:There seems to be more than one issue at work. You feel he is sometimes inconsiderate; he feels you overreact; you talk and agree you overreacted but you still feel he is sometime inconsiderate; you feel lucky he can “handle” your “crazy” moments. I’m not a counselor but I have been married/divorced/married and in a few bad relationships in my time. I am turning 38 this May and like to think my life experiences have provided me with the ability to look at situations in a different way and make better choices because of them. You do have a right to question why he did not invite you and why he mentioned the party only casually. Could you have done this more constructively the first time it was mentioned? I don’t know, I only know what you discussed here. I am glad you worked it out and you are both happy with the results, but try not to let anyone make you feel as if you are always overreacting or your feelings are not important. I am a firm believer in following your instincts – some of my more devastating moments happened because I questioned mine and went in the opposite direction.

I wish you and your Boyfriend or Best Friend all the happiness in the world ๐Ÿ™‚

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