Post # 1
I was making my oatmeal this morning in the office and peeling my hard boiled eggs when a employee asked what I was doing. I casually said something to the effect of, “oh just making my usual oatmeal and hard boiled eggs. I can’t wait for my wedding to be over so I can eat whatever I want” and he and another male employee who came into the office kitchen both said “NO! Don’t do that… you can’t let yourself go after marriage. That is when the real work begins.” These men have both been married for probably over 20 years and they have children.
I wasn’t planning on letting myself go, and I’m not overweight, but geez! Can a girl live? It just got me thinking; do they have a point? It’s not like they represent the entire male perspective, but it did come from two long term married men who were very ademant about the topic nonetheless.
Post # 3
@Diamondgurl: I think men fear the “Wedding Cake Syndrome” because unfortunately it does happen. We don’t TRY to let ourselves go or PLAN to let ourselves go and we probably DON’T let ourselves go. Who would give up on their looks?! That’s just silly!
It’s just that, we age, have babies, things droop, other things grow or stretch.. it’s the natural progression of life. I don’t think it’s marriage, I think it’s just age. Which is inevitable.
I have a lot of hard boiled eggs these days too 😉
Post # 4
When I hear that, I think of it as women that let themselves go on purpose because they get comfortable.
I don’t consider it the same as getting wrinkly, larger from childbirth or whatever because that is inevitable.
My husband agrees, I do not know about other men.
Post # 5
What this makes me think of is all the girls that work out really hard to fit into a wedding dress, and then once they do, they can take a breather and relax. Not sure if that means they’re “letting themselves go,” but I can relate.
I wasn’t trying to really lose weight so much as I wanted to tone up for my wedding. I was working out more before the wedding, and haven’t since then. Everything has been SO BUSY with work (tons of overtime for both of us.. not to mention all the holidays following our wedding) that we just were totally out of energy. My weight hasn’t changed at all from what it was before the wedding, though. I would say I’ve probably lost a little bit of muscle and gained a little more fat, but no one would know but me.
Post # 6
I’ve found that it’s important for me to have milestones in order to keep in control. Of course, our upcoming wedding is qualifies as one. For me, I’ll make sure that we’ll have other things to look forward to/to stay fit for – but I can see how that could be very difficult if you have a baby and you’re not afraid of putting on weight for it (I am, I’ve been 70 lbs heavier and have NO intention to put it all back on). I guess that was what they referred to, putting on weight for a baby and keeping it… Not just having something slightly more pleasant for breakfast.
Post # 7
The way I see it is most woman are on serious diets before their wedding and probably at their best on their wedding day. Then the honeymoon comes, and the diet gets put on hold, and it’s honeymoon bliss for a while. So it’s like the freshmen 15 (hope that’s not just a Canadian term?). Then of course there’s kids and stuff,stat doesn’t help.
I kinda see what your coworkers meant, although I don’t really think it was appropriate to say, but I don’t know your dynamic.
Post # 8
Um, I don’t think those guys are any kind of authority. My husband would be obsessed with me even if I gained, and to be honest, I don’t care if he does either. I wouldn’t marry someone unless we felt that way. A long term fitness and health maintenance has to be for you, anyhow, I don’t think it has to do with marriage.
Post # 9
Ugghhh I’d be peeved if someone told me what to do with my body. And FYI dudes get fat too…and they don’t give birth or whatever excuses there are for having body fat.
Fat shaming a woman into eating hard boiled eggs so her husband will stay with her is ugly and abusive.
In our household we eat when we’re hungry, we workout, we relax, we splurge, we live. We’re not super models and it’s not our job to have an IRL photoshopped bod.
Post # 10
Screw those people! As far as pregnancy is concerned, I’d like to see those guys go hormonal for nine long months, out of breath, sluggish and huge!! Some People are ignorant! Brush it off OP! If I were you, I’d walk in with a donut in my mouth the next morning Ha!
Post # 11
I agree they were out of line to make that comment. But I don’t know, I think oatmeal and hard boiled eggs is a pretty normal everyday breakfast! So maybe they were just more reacting to that – if you got married and were like ok I’m good now I’m going to eat a breakfast sandwich/donuts/bagels, etc. every day, that would not be a good choice, regardless of your marital status (not saying you are going to do this, but maybe that’s what your coworkers were assuming and reacting to.)
Post # 12
Depends on what you mean by “letting yourself go.” I’d define it not as normal aging etc., but as “eating pizza and ice cream all the time, sitting on the couch watching TV, and never exercising.” In which case, FI and I both agree that we would not be cool with the other person doing that. It’s just disrespectful to not put forth a reasonable amount of effort to remain attractive. But we’re both pretty old, so we’re on the downslope already. 🙂
Post # 13
Honestly, I do think its something that happens pretty often. Girls try to look their best for the wedding and then the pressure is off. Some people are still into health and fitness, but honestly in America this is not the norm. Like a PP said, I try to have short term goals for myself. I want to be in good shape for my wedding, but I want to also be in good shape for vacations, summers, and just in general. I think guys can be guilty of letting themselves go too.
Post # 14
psh. I let myself go while we were dating #teamltr #winning
Post # 15
On a side note, I hate the phrase “let yourself go”. My “weight” has nothing to do with my (sense of) “self”. My fiance and I want to be healthy for each other. I don’t care about his little belly and he doesn’t care about mine. I am absolutely charmed by him. 🙂
Post # 16
I think they mean it in the sense of “Oh, I snagged a partner and he/she’s stuck with me after this wedding so now I can eat everything I want because I have no need to try and look good for him/her anymore! (MUAHAHAHAHA)”
I can see their point. I have family members who were in that mindset and completely let themselves go after the wedding (gaining 60+ lbs just because they didn’t have to care about what they looked like anymore).
It was rude of them to comment like that, but it happens, which is probably why they made it.