"Letting Yourself Go" post-wedding, does this actually happen?!

posted 2 years ago in Married Life
Post # 2
Member
537 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

 

buttaflybride:  Can’t really relate as I have been married for only 1 month, but I suppose if it hasn”t happend to youwhen you started living together, why would it change after the wedding? I looove looking good, but more for myself tan for anyone else, so my marial status has no affect on it =)

Post # 3
Member
2912 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i think the only thing i’ve “slacked” on is wearing makeup. i used to never leave the house without wearing at least a little bit, but since i’ve been married i care a lot less about looking pretty for the strangers at the grocery store, haha. i love makeup and everything, but sometimes it’s nice to just leave without going thru the whole getting ready routine. my husband doesn’t think i need it anyway (i do need it, haha) and he’s the only one i care about looking pretty for.

Post # 4
Member
241 posts
Helper bee

i joke that i’ll be better post wedding! we met as teenagers and when he asked me out i was wearing jeans, no make-up and a band t. which i haven’t deviated from huge amounts since! i do have a few dresses and some make-up now. plus i plan to get some really nice things (under and outerwear) for honeymoon. i see this as a watershed and a time to finally learn how to dress properly! plus we’re christians waiting for marriage so that’ll all be new too.

Post # 5
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

We went on a month long honeymoon and I’ve put on a few kgs. I joke that I don’t have to worry now I’m married but I would like to get down to my pre wedding weight (about 5kg lighter). Well see haha

Post # 6
Member
5421 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

buttaflybride:  Well, I’ve gained 2lbs in the 4 weeks since the wedding, though that’s partly down to a nasty chest infection I’ve been fighting for 3 weeks which a) means I can’t swim (my main exercise) and b) always increases my appetite and makes me crave junk! Otherwise, I shave as regularly as I did before, still wear make-up, etc. I’m also determined to shed the extra couple pounds and tone up before our honeymoon in 5 weeks (even though at 5’7″ and 122lbs I’m hardly huge lol) 

I’ve definitely gone through periods where I’ve made less effort, but they’re usually linked to illness, stress, or both eg at times I’ve been working 70 or 80 hours a week (studies plus 2 part-time jobs) so I just want to slob out in tracksuit bottoms a day not worry about shaving every inch of my body and doing my make-up lol. I do think it’s important to make an effort at least sometimes though, and this is another reason mine and my OH’s ‘date nights’ (he hates that term; he’s like ‘They’re just nights!’ lol), which we do at least once a week, are important to us: we go out together, just the two of us, and he dresses really nicely, as do I (usually I make sure I wear something he knows I like, or I buy new lingerie to wear), we wear each other’s favourite fragrances, and I do my hair and make-up how he likes it. I really think it’s helped keep the spark alive (been together 9 years now, so not an insignificant amount of time, and we still get the whole butterflies thing :-)) 

Post # 7
Member
2826 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

In a word, yes. Lol. There are a couple of things at play (1) after the wedding my husband moved in and took over the cooking role, so I eat what he cooks. Every butter drenched, deep-fried delicious bit of it. I was a very health conscious cook. I’ve gently tried to suggest that he make lighter foods, but he gets all huffy and says he’ll stop cooking if I don’t appreciate it, then I let it go. On weekends and holidays when I have time, I’ll make healthy food, but he insults it and says it has no flavor…which, btw, is absolutely not true, I’m an excellent cook. (2) He prefers me larger and is happy that I’ve put on an embarassingly large amount of weight in the year since we got married. He deliberately offers me fattening foods when I’m trying to diet and lectures me about over exerting myself with exercise. 

As far as makeup and whatnot, well, our entire relationship and engagement was long-distance so he wouldn’t be aware of what I’ve stopped doing since we got married. 

Post # 8
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

buttaflybride:  I got REALLY BIG right after my wedding. Like I gained 65 pounds. 

Oh, I should mention I found out I was pregnant 18 days after my wedding lolol. 

But really, I Probably would have worked harder to lose the baby weight (only 20 more pounds) pre wedding. Now it’s just not a big deal since I’m happy and healthy, but I’m in a wedding in October so I’m trying to work a little harder! 

Post # 9
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - A Beautiful converted Barn

 

buttaflybride:  i lost alot of weight for the wedding – the focus of looking as good as possible in my dress helped me lose 56lb. after an all inclusive ohneymoon, followed quickly by an over indulgent christmas and new year i put half of that back on. im now loosing again but its alot harder… maybe i need to buy another expensive dress and plan a big party so i can focus!!!

 

Post # 10
Member
4810 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yes it happens. I read somewhere that the average woman gains 21 pounds in the first year of marriage. NO idea if that’s true or where it came from, but let’s just say the average woman gains some weight in the first year of marriage. I think the main reasons are 1) they move in with their husband, which is associated with weight gain and 2) they diet to lose a bunch of weight before the wedding and it’s not sustainable. I gained a few pounds, but it was on purpose because I was underweight and we want to TTC soon, so I don’t think that counts. 

Post # 11
Member
1201 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: A very pretty church.

buttaflybride:  Of course, stands to reason. If for one special event you put in the max effort you would ever put into looking the best you ever have (which seems to be the general expectation), then the days, months, years after you marry you probably won’t be meeting that standard (let’s be honest, most of us didn’t meet that standard before either). I won’t be living my married life obsessing over my looks as if I’m sitting for formal portraits or standing up in front of dozens of people to make public declarations. I suspect that special skin clearing diets, industrial strength undergarments or professional hair stylists will be thin on the ground and all I can say is thank goodness. I’m not a celebrity, there is no reason to live my life like I am going to be papped down the shops.

Post # 12
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Overjoyed:  That seems very unbalanced. On average, women gain weight quicker than men, so his unhealthy cooking habits are going to hit you harder. I would split the cooking duties. I would also ignore him saying he likes you bigger. Okay, fine, he likes fuller women, but don’t gain so much weight you become unhealthy. If you feel good about your body, that’s what matters, but don’t delude yourself. And there are definitely guys who will sabotage your health efforts to stop you from being attractive to other men. Not saying it’s the case but it happens.

Post # 13
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m pretty sure I’m the perfect example of this.  Been married 45 days, gained 10 lbs, no wax, but I still try and wear make up.  I actually am starting a diet tomorrow haha. I just allowed myself a little freedom after the wedding, but I’m a bridesmaid in November so I gotta lose the extra pounds.  It was fun while it lasted though.

Post # 14
Member
380 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

lcutter711:  I’m with ya! We’ve been married for 38 days, and I’ve had a month of eating whatever I want! After being so nervous about looking perfect in my dress, it’s been fun to say yes to wine, ice cream, chocolate, etc… but I’m cracking down now! 🙂

Post # 15
Member
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

buttaflybride:  I’ve been in my relationship for 10 years, living together for nearly 6 years, and I didn’t really “let myself go” until about last year. Previously, my FI worked at a firm where the culture required him to practically live there with 12-16 hour work days, and going in on the weekend. I ate dinner with friends or by myself, and scheduled on own gym time/personal care.

In the past year and a half, my FI changed companies, and now I’ve let go of a lot that I used to do. I’ve gained some weight because we spend so much time together that his eating habits have rubbed off on me. I’ve given up some of my studio memberships because I wasn’t showing up. My spynga studio actually called me to make sure I was okay, lol! We go out for dinner and/or drinks almost every night instead of hitting the gym. The last time I got a mani/pedi was 3 weeks ago, and I’ve definitely neglected some of my girlfriends.

I don’t have an excuse about why or how I let myself go, little by little. It’s the consequence of being able to spend time with my FI rather than hit the gym or attend various appointments. I still get weekly blowouts, and do my makeup everyday, but haven’t had a wax in months! This post is really laying it out there. I hadn’t thought about how I’ve let so much go until writing this out. That needs to change, haha.

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