Post # 1
Just curious; if you were selecting a resort for your honeymoon, would you pass over those that were NOT listed as LGBTQ friendly or welcoming?
I’m looking on Expedia at the moment and this is an option in the search box. When I choose the LGBTQ welcoming resorts, it narrows it down to TWO. Without, I have a choice of aout 30.
Hmmm. Do you think it matters that much? We obviously don’t want to be treated poorly or any of that, but we don’t “need” a place that is specifically gay focused I don’t think… what do you think about places that don’t designate themselves as “friendly”?
Post # 3
If you are going to a generally gay-friendly destination, then I wouldn’t worry as much about the resort.
Post # 4
@Angela83: Well we’re looking at Mexico right now, because we’re in Texas and it’s close and cheap. That or the Carribean but I think that is more expensive. So should either be okay?
Post # 5
We went to one of the resorts in Cancun labeled as gay friendly. What we didn’t anticipate ws that at this particular place, gay-friendly=loud!
I don’t think you have to go to a “gay friendly” place to get good service… and if you happen to be going to the carribean coast of Mexico, I have a great recommendation for you in Tulum if you are interested!
Post # 6
I would not limit myself to ones limited as LGBT friendly or welcoming. A lot of places have never really considered the issue, so they haven’t thought to list themselves that way, but would be welcoming if you went there.
Actually, my experience in Mexico is pretty funny. In Mexico, it is really common for straight women to walk down the street holding hands, etc. And it is considered a bit shocking for a woman to live alone, so even straight women tend to share houses. So lesbian couples don’t face a lot of hostility, if only because no one notices that they are lesbian.
My sister, who lives in Mexico, tells me of neighbors from the US. All the people from the US are aware that “Suzie” left her husband for “Jane.” All the Mexicans just assume that they are living together for companionship.
Post # 7
Many resorts are welcoming and accommodating to LGBTQ couples without explicitly advertising that fact. I imagine the ones that label themselves as gay-friendly are likely to market to gays specifically, which is not the same as simply being accepting. I was pleased to see that our resort in Moorea was frequented by several couples enjoying their vacation together, but the resort did not label itself as a gay-friendly destination in its advertising materials.
Post # 8
We used purpleroofs.com when we needed a place to stay in Iceland two years ago, and it worked out great – a sweet little place run by two charming guys. BUT…I think we lucked out, too. We knew we wanted a quiet, romantic place that wouldn’t bat an eye to two ladies checking in together, and we found it. We also book travel with non-LGBT specific places, too, and have had both good and bad experiences. I think it depends on whether you know exactly what you are looking for, and then whether you are able to find that with the bonus of the “friendly” label.
Post # 9
Thanks everyone. 🙂
@2dBride: That’s an interesting observation, and I know that in certain socio-economic groups it’s common for women to live together for reasons of finance and companionship with no romance involved and no one thinks twice about it. In fact, my Grandmother totally believes this is why Fiance and I live together. Not that I have told her this, but my mom has led her to believe it and since she has Alzheimer’s I just don’t bother to correct her assumptions. 😉
Then again there are days my Grandma thinks my Fiance is “that little Mexican boy who always brings me coffee…” !!
My great aunt lived with her “female friend” for something like 7 years and when I look back at family stories and history as well as pics of my Great aunt (with a cigar and fedora! hello!?) it’s obvious to ME that it was not some sort of roommate situation… 😉 But my grandmother insists they lived together because they were both single and HAD to share expenses and to suggest that there was anything more to it gives her a bona-fide “conniption fit”. 😉 So funny.
Post # 10
@MsInterpret: Ah, yes, this reminds me of my former mother-in-law. She was already at a moderate stage of Alzheimer’s when NotFroofy arrived. When NotFroofy kept coming with me to take Mother-In-Law out to brunch, Mother-In-Law sort of figured out that we were supposed to be together, although she was always a bit vague on the relationship. If I showed up without NotFroofy, Mother-In-Law would ask, “So, where’s your little friend today?” (NotFroofy is 5’1″.) I always thought it was hilarious–sort of like what you would ask a kindergartener. But given that Mother-In-Law was already getting a bit vague about relationships (she once told someone I was her older sister), I was happy that she accepted NotFroofy, and didn’t push for any explicit recognition of what our relationship was.
Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law both died a few months before we were married, and we put a memorial to them in our wedding program.
Post # 11
- Wedding: September 2010 - Heritage Square Museum
I wouldn’t stick to just the GLBTQ friendly resorts, but from others posts/personal experience, I would lean towards Mexico and not the Caribbean….
I’ve lived/worked in parts of the caribbean that are openly hostile towards the gay community, and while there are little pockets of sanity/love/gayness everywhere, it’s not something I’d wanna encounter or worry about on my honeymoon!
Good luck! I can’t wait to hear where you pick!
ps. I too have the “not gay” aunties. They’ve lived together for 20 years, drive matching cars, take vacations together, and oh yeah, raised a few kids! So nice to have such good “friends” LOL.
Post # 12
@2dBride: That’s funny, “little friend”. Fiance is 5’2″ and gets the “little” this and that all the time. When we first got together she was in the beginning stages and I think she just assumed I needed a roomie because I’d left my husband (and by the way when I announced THAT, she whooped and hollered and yelled “Hallelujah!! It’s about damned time!” 😉 … I’m sorry you lost her and Father-In-Law, but good that you had closeness there. My grandmother would ask me for YEARS “Where is your husband?” and I’d say “Mema, we’re divorced now.” and she’d say “What?? Well thank GOD!” … and then ask the same next time we saw her.
@stripes: Thanks for the tip. Mexico just seems logical at this point, and I’ve been finding great deals on Expedia and the like. It just depends on how much money we have left after the wedding, but some of these deals are unbelievable!! So I hope we can swing it.
Living in South Texas I have (and do, daily) encounter a LOT of people from Mexico, and I live specifically in a neighborhood with a population that is like 85% Spanish speaking people from Mexico. I was worried moving into this neighborhood particularly (being both a gringa AND a lesbian in an old, traditional, mostly Catholic pocket of town!) but there’ve been no problems at all really. I’ve encountered some “weirdness” but honestly I think that’s had more to do with being white than being queer.
Post # 13
MsInterpret, I see you’re married now and most likely no longer need advice on this, but I thought I would post some info for future brides.
I’m planning a wedding in Mexico and was told by two different resort chains (Dreams and El Dorado/Azul) that such a ceremony (the same non-legal, symbolic one they do for straight couples every day) could only be performed at one of their many locations (both resorts pointed me to Cancun, which was not where I wanted), and they left no room for discussion concerning the locations I was actually interested in.
If I had merely wanted to book a honeymoon, they probably would’ve been fine with that, and I would’ve been none the wiser to their less than equal-treatment policies. It would upset me to spend my honeymoon somewhere and later hear a story about a same-sex couple being denied a wedding reservation at the place, so although bummed about the discrimation, I am glad I found out before spending a dime with either chain.
I’m not accustomed to discrimination, and I also tend to go through life expecting fair treatment and never needing to mention that I’m gay; I just introduce my girlfriend as such, and it’s rare that anyone bats an eyelash. However, with most of the planning being done via e-mail, I am finding it easier to announce upfront that we’re a same-sex couple and quickly move on if I sense resistance.
Future brides may appreciate knowing that Le Reve and Condo Hotels are both entirely welcoming of same-sex weddings, honeymoons, etc. From those resorts, I got the reaction I expected from all. “We’d love to help you plan your event. Everyone is welcome here.”