Post # 1
I am curious about bees who are in live saving careers or bees who have spouses/partners/SOs in life saving careers.
Let me elaborate: Fiance and I work in the same hospital; he is in direct patient care, I don’t work with patients. Fiance will also be going to medical school, so he’ll always be in direct patient care. Currently he’s also an EMT so is always in life-saving situations. Yesterday, we were both in a meeting in which someone was talking with dealing with weather emergencies and they spoke about the huge amount of tornadoes in April/May of last year in the Southeast. They were talking about how nurses, techs, doctors, residents, etc are all supposed to move all patients and families to safe places, before getting into safe places themselves.
It struck a chord with me…I was thinking: if an EF5 tornado is ripping its way through our area, headed straight for the hospital, my true inclination is want my FI/soon husband to say ‘screw these people, I’m getting underground”. Of course, being an EMT/future doctor/life saver, he laughed and shurgged like “I would never consider not putting others lives in front of mine”. And honestly? it kind of rubbed me the wrong way. He’ll be my husband, I want him to put his life before others!
I felt like such a bad person because what I really want him to do in these situations is to put himself first, make sure HE is safe…not a bunch of strangers. What would I do without him? I jsut kept thinking of different scenarios that he has encountered or could encounter on EMS calls, and other scenarios in the hospital in which he’s part of the staff that has to protect and put a large volume of patients into safe areas before takin their own safety into account. And, UGH, it just made me kind of angry. I am so proud of him for what he does and what he’ll do, but part of me just wants HIM to take care of HIM, so I don’t have to worry about losing him.
Other bees who feels this way? I’d imagine especially emergency response people like firefighters or police officers have wifes/SO/partners that feel simliarly? Does it ever wory you/irritate you that your loved one puts perfect strangers before their own safety? Maybe I’m just a more selfish person than others, and I have the UTMOST respect for people in tehse jobs…but now that it’s going to be my HUSBAND who had to worry about protecting a unit full of his patients before he ducks-and-covers himself, I feel a little weary…
Post # 3
The problem with that way of thinking is, if YOU were a patient would you want the person in charge of making sure you’re safe bailing on you because he/she is somebody’s husband/wife? Everyone is someone’s something – be it SO, parent, child, etc. We all have people who care about us and want for our safety to be a priority. But one of the beautiful things about our society is there are people like your Fiance (and like my mom, a nurse) who dedicate their livelihoods to making sure those who are weaker or in danger get help and care.
He wants to be in this profession for life, so it’s really something you have to find a way to be comfortable with: he will not always be #1 in his life. He may be #1 in yours, but as someone who will one day swear an oath to put his patients’ lives on the pedestal, he won’t be taking that view.
Post # 4
My Fiance and I were just talking about something to this effect (although it was completely different.) We were driving downtown (actually Raleigh also, hi neighbor!) and a lady was running through the street, her dog was loose. My Fiance knew I probably would of jumped out to help her, but he kept going. He said he doesn’t care what it is a child, dog what have you that he wants me to keep myself safe, and not worry about what is happening to them. He said this about 100 times.
And I do see where you are coming from though, I know my Fiance will take care of himself, and he knows there is only so much he could do before saving himself. I think your Fiance has a big heart, and he is going to make a great Dr.!
And I realized I’m sorry, we are not medical/life-saving although I want to be.
Post # 5
@MissCalifornia: I could not have said it better myself!
Post # 6
@MissCalifornia: Nicely said. Everyone is someone’s loved one, and thank goodness for those who are willing to not put themselves first to help others.
Post # 7
@TopazWedding: No, but what you said makes sense. It just sort of struck me when it hadn’t before…when I realized “oh my god, this man will be my husband and there’s no one I love more…I want him to always be safe”. And I know my Fiance…he’d be the person still covering patients as windows are exploding and roof tiles are being ripped off the building. But I just want him to be safe!! Like I said, I know it sounds crazy/selfish, but I don’t necessarily think it’s an entirely “problematic” way of thinking. I know there are plenty of things he wouldn’t want me to do/places he wouldn’t want me to go by myself because he feels the same way. The difference is, I’m a huge wuss so he really doesn’t have to worry, haha! I guess to an extent, I really DO feel like people should–at some point–put themselves and their loved ones above others. Maybe not immediately, but I would hope that people who put strangers/patients lives “on a pedestal” also remember that they have families who love them more than anything and they should take care of themselves too.
Post # 8
“I would never consider not putting others lives in front of mine”
Here’s the thing. If he was not the kind of person that thought that way would you love him as much?
My husband is not in any kind of life saving career. But I know that if tragedy was to struck he would make sure that our family is safe. Then he would go back out to help others before helping himself. That’s just how he is. And I agree, I would want him with ME, safe, rather than out there in danger helping others. But if he was the selfish type to think that way he would not be the man I love.
Post # 9
@regberadaisy: Thanks for saying that…I was beginning to think I was just a bitch. Like I said, I respect and love that he wants to and CAN help others–don’t get me wrong–but I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel how you felt…that I knew he’d ensure his own saftey/our saftey before helping others. Thing is, if it were he and I in a scenario, I know without a shadow of a doubt that he’d put us and me out of harms way before doing ANYTHING else…it’s just when I’m out of the picutre/not there, he doesn’t always think “I should make sure I’m okay so I actually can help others”…not to mention return home to me in one piece. Does that make sense?