Life VENT!

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

eecuadrado:  I’m so sorry you’re going through this 🙁 It’s great you have a good, reliable babysitter now. And you clearly love your little one and your husband, so good for you for seeing the positive side. But that SUCKS about the money and your work (they sound horrible!) and having to cancel the wedding. Have you spoken to your mom about canceling the wedding because of not being able to cover the costs in time? What did she say? Knowing absolutely nothing about your mom except the one line about her not being able to provide more earlier, I would worry that she’d bail on you again, otherwise I’d say you should try to arrange different payment schedules with the vendors, or moving the wedding back until you can get the money from her. Are there ways to scale back the wedding even more? Like make it a brunch or some snacks or a dessert party, instead of dinner? Or work with the photographer to make a cheaper package (maybe you skip having a wedding album for now, or pass up on the second photographer, or whatever is in your package)? Skip anything unnecessary (programs, flowers, favors, etc) and just let everyone know you want to make it a party but you have to cut back, so it won’t be traditional. Or, maybe, you do cancel the wedding for now. It’s just not financially feasible, nor viable given how overloaded you are with a young child, work, and school. You could do a vow renewal in 5 or 10 or however many years, throw the party then, and have your happy time celebrating with everyone! Whatever you do, I’m really sorry you’re going through this, it sounds super stressful. I wish you the best and hang in there – even if you don’t get your younger self’s dream wedding now, I think you’ll be happy you made the more financially sound decision in the long run. <3

Post # 4
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

eecuadrado:  And no chance of moving back the date until after she gets you the money? But, yeah, if she bails again, it leaves you in the same hot water. I’m so sorry. It’s such a miserable situation all around, and such a bummer after all the planning. But kudos to you for hanging in there, trying to stay positive, and doing what’s best for your family. For canceling the wedding, can you try calling during your lunch breaks? I know your office is really harsh about taking time off, but what if you let them know that you have a LOT of financial/family/personal/wedding (whatever you think they’d respond best to) stuff you need to take care of, and ask what day of the week would be best for you to take off? Maybe they’d be nicer if they got to say “well, Wednesday we can probably survive without you for the day.” Again, I’m sorry, but you sound like you’ve got a good head and will get through this!

Post # 6
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

eecuadrado:  Of course! Sometimes we really just need someone to listen and let us be upset, especially in a situation like this. Best of luck! Sending positive thinking your way!

Post # 8
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

That’s good! I hope she comes through and you can do everything as planned.

Post # 9
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

eecuadrado: Is it weird that I just burst into a giant grin and almost clapped & danced… in my cubicle… at work… because of YOUR wedding being back on?! I am SO happy for you!! Ditto to what spiffanee said – maybe you should wait to send out any more deposits until you get the money from her? Just in case something comes up, you don’t want to have sunk more money into the wedding just yet. Not sure if that’s feasible, but it’s worth thinking about. But otherwise, YAY FOR MOMS! (Definitely a kill & kiss situation, haha)

Post # 11
Member
7279 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Sorry to hear. This too shall pass. I know how it can be when it seems like everything is falling apart and not going your way. But for every valley there is a hill on the other side. Best of luck to you. 

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