Limited Open Bar, Gracious Guests?

posted 3 years ago in Food
Post # 3
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

What are your 4 drinks, if you don’t mind me asking?

If they’re all fruity cocktails, then I’d say to let them purchase other drinks. But if it’s something like:

A beer option, a white wine, a red wine, and a signature cocktail, then that appeals to most people.

Post # 4
Member
4413 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Honestly, if I were at a restaurant and wasn’t allowed to order drinks from the restaurant bar even though the bar was right there and I could see the bottles of booze I want sitting there, I would be furious. I think it’s one thing if it’s a wedding and those items just aren’t even there to purchase (like, there’s ONLY beer and wine and you can just deal with it). But if they were there and I just wasn’t allowed to buy them … then it sounds like you’re babysitting me and telling me what I can and can’t drink with my own money, know what I mean?

Post # 5
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

This is a tough one.  I like the option to buy something different.  Recently I was at an event with no provided alcohol, so I bought a cocktail at the bar. 

Post # 6
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Overjoyed:  I totally agree with you. Whatever you chose to serve as the host is what is served. I must say that my FI would be heartbroken without a steak option, but it’s not like he’d go order one and bring it over. The same applies for drinks. I would accept whatever you chose to serve graciously, even if it was a dry wedding.

Honestly, cash bar looks cheap. It looks like you could only afford to provide what you did and that the guests have to pick up the slack. Having said that, I think if you are offering signature drinks (and 4 is a decent selection), it doesn’t look cheap at all. Maybe it’s just me, but I find it offputting if I have to pay for something at a wedding.

 

Post # 7
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@iarebridezilla:  I didn’t think of that. I assumed that just the drinks that were being offered would be visible. I didn’t envision an array of drinks there to tease you that you can’t have.

Post # 8
Member
8910 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I agree with PP that it really depends on what you have to offer.  If we were at this event and you didn’t have a beer or non-sweet-drink option, my FI would be pretty bummed that he couldn’t buy his own.

Post # 9
Member
2209 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@iarebridezilla: +1

I think you’re providing quite a bit, but if someone wants a beer or wine instead of a cocktail, it would be nice for them to be allowed to purchase it themselves.  You’re still being a good host even if they prefer something else and pay for it.

Post # 10
Member
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I honestly wouldn’t mind if my guests wanted to pay extra for better alcohol. I know that I’m not offering top of the line, and frankly, some people are alcohol snobs. I rather that they pay and drink something they like and have a wonderful time at my event rather than force them to drink something that they feel is not good enough for them and end up not having any fun. 

Post # 11
Member
857 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

As long as one of the drink options is a really good wine, I think you’re good to go! A lot of people don’t like hard alcohol but want a little tipsy drink.

Post # 12
Member
4413 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MrsPanda99:  I mean even if you can’t see them, I’m just thinking people know they’re at a restaurant and know the restaurant has a full bar available … so they’re just being prevented from getting what they want, even though they’re willing to pay for it. I wouldn’t like that very much!

Post # 13
Member
2912 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

What are the drinks? Do you mean 3 cocktails like a Mudslide, Cosmo or Long Island Ice Tea? If you are having a dinner then I think you either need to have wine & not cocktails or let your guests order their own wine. Wine & dinner go together like peas and carrots 🙂

Post # 14
Member
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I see and understand what you’re trying to say.  If it were me, I would still provide the drink options, with a sign posted of what they are on the bar (if this is how it is all set-up).  Then, tell the restaruant that if someone orders something totally different, they can pay in cash.  I see what a PP was saying – about all the bottles just sitting there.  No one is going to be upset that you didn’t have a full-range open bar at your rehearsal.  As long as your drink options are considerate (as another PP said) I think you’ll be fine. 

Post # 15
Member
4474 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

While I totally agree with your logic, the fact that the dinner is happening at a restaurant makes it a bit different for me. I don’t necessarily see it as an affront to your hosting abilities, or you not offering your guests enough. Like I definitely think that people should drink what you provide, but I also don’t think that they should be told that they can’t go up to the regular bar at a restaurant event. In most other situations though I agree with your logic 100%.

Post # 16
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I feel like it would be weird for someone to offer to pay for say their jack and coke. We went to a RD recently and were only offered sodas, so we all only drank sodas. I did see the groom’s mom with a glass of wine. I know they hosted, but I don’t know what the deal was. 

Point being, I wouldn’t think to ask if paying for another drink was an option. Unless they could go to the bar area or something. 

I say what you’re doing is peachy. 

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