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Well the consultants at the bridal salon I ended up purchasing from were all super nice and very complimentary when I tried on the dresses -- a lot of "Wow, you look amazing!" kind of comments. And to be honest, I didn't mind ;), it was a good boost of confidence since I usually have a really hard time finding things that look good on me. But I wouldn't say their comments pushed me into the buying...like you said, the dress (if it's the right one) sells itself!
I was lucky that I had a no pressure sales person at the place I ultimately bought the dress. And, when I was trying to decide between two, she said she liked the one that was quite a bit less than the other!
The ladies who worked at the bridal salon where I bought my dress were wonderful! They were honest when a dress didn't look great on me, and they really didn't pressure me to buy. I had a wonderful experience there!
I never felt a lot of pressure, but I did feel like they were telling me I looked good even when I didn't. I thought like maybe that was to boost me up so I'd want to buy something, but I can't blame them for showering me with complements. 
One of the salons I visited was all about trying to con me into purchasing a dress. They were like used car salespeople! I could tell which dresses were the most expensive because those were the ones that they kept gushing about. I had one dress on that I (and my mom) absolutely hated, but they kept telling me how amazing it looked and putting accessories on me to try to convince me. The dumb thing was that it was totally unflattering, so I knew they were just trying to close the sale. They kept going on and on about how it was my one day to "be a princess" and how I "deserved" an expensive dress.
The consultant from whom I ended up purchasing my dress was honest with me, which I appreciated. Some dresses looked good and some didn't--and she didn't lie to me. She actually pulled The Dress for me and it was something I never would have picked out myself.
Wow, I never had an experience with a pushy saleswoman, at any of the 3 places I shopped at. And at the last one, where I actually found 'the one', when I started to get emotional and tear up while wearing the dress, so did she!
One weird comment from a bridal consultant was, "Oh I just tried to call you to see if you were really going to come. I wanted to go out for lunch" I showed up for my appointment 5 minutes early! It was really weird like she would have rather I left and she didn't even attempt to make a sale. I did not buy my dress there!
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I didn't hear anything like that, but if I did, I'd be hesitant to work with that particularly shop/consultant. To me, if her concern is with selling you and not with helping you find the best dress for yourself/make the choice comfortably, then she won't have your best interests at heart in other regards either. This could turn into unneccessary or overpriced alterations and upselling you on your veil, shoes, or jewelry to something that you don't want/feel good in.
Did you buy the dress from her?
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I would hope you shopped around for the man. I mean as far as making sure he was the one, etc... what a weird comment. My only somewhat similar experience was when the consultant kept telling my friend and I that these very expensive dresses were half-off but we should hurry because there was only one left. Even though at half off, they were still far over our stated budgets. And the one she was trying to sell to me didn't even look that good on me.
I'm sure it WAS the last one, or whatever, but it just felt like she was trying to sell me on a used car or something. "Hurry up because this beauty won't be around forever!"
Sounds like you guys had pretty good experiences overall. I didn't mean to imply that she was really pushy or only interested in the sale; she was actually very helpful while I was there. She searched and pulled several dresses for me, and almost all of them fit the descriptions that I gave her before we started. She was very patient while lacing the backs for me (I tried on many corsett backs; those take so much time!) and gave her honest opinions. She pulled veils and gave my mom and I private time to discuss. I had already found the dress and just couldn't quite make the purchase b/c the price was a bit more than I had originally budgeted. (And I'll admit it, I'm a procrastinator and hate making decisions, so I put EVERYTHING off- wedding stuff included.) We all knew it was the one (I teared up while I had it on.) When she heard my mention the cost was what was holding me back and that I thought I should maybe look some more (all while staring at myself in the mirror-how ridiculous am I?), she made the comment about shopping around. I really think the comment was most directly related to the fact that I did not stop smiling once I had the dress on and had less to do with making a sale.
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold">@driftslikesmoke: I did buy the dress, but not because of her- because it was/is THE dress. My mom said that she could tell b/c she could see it on my face when I put it on.
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold">@marquisemiss: After 6 1/2 years, I'm sure I have the right man! I think she was meaning more along the lines of "once you've found THE guy, you don't put him on hold to shop around. Either way, I'm confident with both my guy and my dress! Sorry to hear your experience was less than pleasant!
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When I was trying on dresses, I was trying to decide whether or not I was ready to commit (it just seemed too easy). My consultant said, "You don't shop around for the man, why should you for the dress?" (Um, b/c I don't want to have to trade my firstborn for my dress?) I know she was just trying to make a sale, but she didn't really need to; the dress sold itself! Did your consultant say anything or use any lines to "encourage" you to make a purchase?