Post # 1
Hey my fabulous Bees! My parents are paying for our large, formal wedding. My fiance’s parents will be hosting a small rehearsal dinner and (supposedly) will be giving us $2,000 towards our honeymoon. I really do not want to put them on the invitation at all since they have not been interested in planning, discussing, etc the wedding (or shown a huge interest in getting to know me for that matter). Some of my friends think I should put them on the invitation as a nice gesture—the whole “Mr. and Mrs. John R. Doe request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Linda Sue to Adam Raymond Palmer, son of Mr. and Mrs. Thomas L. Barry.” (fake names of course! ) What do you think—should I/must I put them on? What did you do?
Post # 3
If you’re having a formally worded invite, then yes, I’d list them regardless of how much they’ve contributed. If you’re not comfortable with it, don’t list any parents and just say something like “Together with our families”.
Post # 4
@Meghan320: My parents are paying for the whole wedding.
FI’s dad is paying for the rehearsal dinner and FI’s mom is paying for the day after brunch.
Only my parent’s names were on the invite.
However we did ask FI’s parents how they felt about it. It didn’t matter to them either way so we went with etiquette and put just my parent’s names on because they are “hosting” (paying for) the entire wedding.
Post # 5
If your Fiance parents are helping pay for part of your wedding then yes they should be included on the invite.
Post # 6
The way you have it phrased is good – it includes them, but it does not suggest that they are hosting the event (since it’s only your parents who are listed as doing the inviting).
I think you should include them. It doesn’t hurt, and why risk hurting their feelings this early in the relationship?
Post # 9
@mightywombat: Also agreed. That’s exactly how we phrased ours.
Post # 10
I would put them on the invitation, just as you wrote in your post. It’s just not worth starting a battle over, you know? We had both sets of parents on our invitation
Post # 11
I had a feeling these were going to be the answers ! I supposed you’re all correct and I should just suck it up…
Post # 12
We didn’t put my in-laws on the invite. They didn’t contribute to the wedding and traditionally the parents of the groom are not listed. It’s a nice gesture, but certainly not necessary if they aren’t contributing to the actual wedding. If you are really against putting them on there, then don’t. (Unless your fiance really wants their names on there, in which case I think you should do it for him). My in-laws hosted our rehearsal dinner so their names were on that invitation.
Post # 13
@Meghan320: Why don’t you want to put them on?
I actually suggested we put my FI’s parents on but they declined since they are not contributing to the wedding.
If you list your Fiance as “son of mr and mrs x” you aren’t implying that they are paying.
Have you asked them what they want? Or asked your Fiance his opinion?
Post # 14
I see wedding invitations as the announcement of the union of two families in most cases. It shouldn’t be about money although they are spending more on you than some girls whole budget, even though they might not seem that psyched or interested to you. Leaving them off of this announcement would really start your marriage off on the wrong foot, IMO.
Post # 15
This is how I think you should word it:
Mr and Mrs Meghan320 request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter
Son of Mr and Mrs Boyfriend
In my opinion, wording it this way will get the point across that your parents are paying for the wedding… but it also acknowledges the parents of the groom.
Post # 16
My parents paid for everything except for the transportation and rehearsal dinner, but we put both parents’ names on the invite. I think it’s nice to include them, and my parents were fine with ‘sharing the spotlight’.