Post # 1
Our RSVP date is August 8th – 3 days from now. Our caterer needs final numbers on the 10th. So I got in touch with my whole side this week, and I know who is coming and who isn’t. There are about 8 people on his side that haven’t RSVP’d, and we have no idea whether or not they are coming. These people I have never met, and are distantly related to his grandmother, or something like that. Anyway, I am bugging FI to get in touch with them, and he says, well if they don’t RSVP I’m just going to tell them I’m sorry, but we already gave final numbers to the caterer. So basically, if they don’t RSVP on time, they aren’t invited anymore. Part of me feels a sort of evil satisfaction from this plan, but the other part thinks, it is sort of rude and how will his side feel about it? What do you think?
Post # 3
I plan to call everyone two days before our deadline and tell them if they don’t get it to us, they don’t eat… FI doesn’t like that idea, but I think it’s funny. And after all the tears spilled during this process, some laughter is welcome!
Post # 4
Honestly, it’s what you have to do sometimes – if people don’t have the common courtesy of RSVPing on time, then they don’t have a seat at the reception. Now…I did call or email all of the offenders, and I basically gave them a deadline saying that if I didn’t hear from them by X date, I would be forced to assume they weren’t coming. Most responded within the day, but a few didn’t, and I just checked them off the list as nos.
Good luck! I hope they RSVP by the deadline!
Post # 5
I agree. If you don’t rsvp, you don’t come, but I think it’s nice to call people a little ahead of time to ask them if they are, if they haven’t rsvped already, if they don’t have an answer for you, and don’t answer you by the rsvp date, well then frankly I believe they shouldn’t come, because I’m not gonna spend money on someone who might not be there.
Post # 6
That was my plan! My mom said nooo
Post # 7
It’s sort of rude of people NOT to RSVP (i mean if they just plain forgot that’s a different story) so I don’t think you are being rude at all!
Plus -I think we’re going to end up doing the same thing – I think it’s awkward to call people you don’t even know and be like “hey are you going to come to my wedding”… considering my guest list consists of mostly people my parents know…
Post # 8
I think you need to be prepared that they will show up at the wedding anyway. If your FI won’t call them and ask them now if they are coming or not, when is he going to call them and tell them they are uninvited? They very well may be planning on coming. And if they do show up, is your FI going to tell them they have to leave? Probably not. I would have sometone call.
Post # 9
I never knew people would call if you didn’t rsvp. Whenever i received an invite for a wedding i assumed that i if i didnt rsvp by the deadline i was no longer invited because they’d have to order food. It would be really rude of them to count on you calling them to check if they are coming imo. And I wouldnt phrase it as uninvited maybe, but more like “I’m sorry we have already given our numbers to the caterer and they cannot be changed.”
Post # 10
I have a few non-RSVPers. I cannot even tell you how annoying this is. Here is my plan: if I know you received the invitation and received my follow-up reminder to book a hotel room, then you are counted as a “no” if you did not RSVP. (Obviously, for people that verbally told me they are coming but I have not received the actual response card, that is a different story.)
For those that I have not heard from at all, I called right at the deadline to make sure they received the invitation.
Post # 11
We did actually follow up with everyone who didn’t RSVP (it was a LOT BTW, like over 50% didn’t respond by the deadline). At the time of th efollow up, we told their voicemail or email (b/c they won’t answer the phone, trust me) that if they didn’t respond within 1 week we would assume they weren’t coming. It worked for the most part, but we did still have some people finally RSVP the week of the wedding who had been hiding underground until that point.
Post # 12
I would follow up, because you run the risk of them showing up despite their lack of RSVP.
Post # 13
I would follow up. If you have to leave a message let them know that you “hate to be a bother but we need the final number by tomorrow, so please let us know by then if you can. We’d love to have you but need to finalize our headcount” or something haha. kill um with kindness sort of thing and see how it goes
Post # 14
I think you do need to put in a call – what if it got lost in the mail or something else happened? I know the feeling of just wanting to be done with it, but you may end up causing yourself unnecessary stress later on.