Post # 1
I’m kind of stuck. I’m drafting my programs now and I have been working on how to list my parents forever!!
My parents are divorced. I did not list my stepmom on the invitation, but sort of want to include her in the program. I just hate the attitude that will explode from my Mom having her listed with the parents. So stupid, but i really don’t feel like dealing with my mom. I’m just curious, would it be really weird not to list my stepmom?
Anyone else out there not list a stepparent in the program? I know that she will not be mad and will not expect it. However, I feel like etiquette (which my in-laws are obsessed with) calls for me to list her.
I am giving her a corsage and have been trying to keep her involved, but everyone in the family knows how my Mom needs to be the center of attention 🙁
Post # 3
I think ettiquete-wise you’re suppossed to list her. Would it help if you listed your mom first?
Post # 4
That’s exactly what I was going to suggest…list your mom first and dad/step-mom second. I take it your mom is not remarried? I think it is really nice that you want to include your step-mom.
My parents are also divorced – mom is remarried, dad’s fiancee lives with him (they might as well be married) – and it didn’t occur to me right away to include my step-mom in the planning. I knew I would include her (and my step-father) in the program and introductions, etc. but now I am going to make more of an effort to include her in the planning and fun stuff. What I don’t want to do is include what feels like 20 parents names on the invitations. Luckily, I think we’re just going with "together with their parents…"
Post # 5
I do plan to list my Mom first. She is not married. That really won’t help her annoyance that the stepmom is listed under the title "Parents".
How about this
Mom Yogigal, Mother of the Bride
Dad Yogigal, Father of the Bride
Awesomely Humble Yogigal, Stepmom of the Bride
FFIL & FMIL – Parents of the Groom
Post # 6
I see what you’re saying…your mom doesn’t think your stepmom should even be listed in the parents section at all. It sounds like you really want to include your stepmom but don’t want to ruffle feathers with your mom. Do you think if you tell your mom your plan now, she’ll be over it in a few weeks for your wedding? Are you close enough with your stepmom that you can ask her for advice?
What about this:
Mom Yogigal, Mother of the Bride
Dad Yogigal and Awesomely Humble Yogigal, Father and Stepmother of the Bride
FILs – Parents of the Groom
Sorry that you’re in such a tough spot and I’m also sorry I don’t have any better advice.
Post # 7
We’re in the exact same predictament. I did not list my step-mom on the program for the same reasons you are concerned about. Plus, there’s the added issue that my dad and step-mom have been separated for years. My dad lives out of the country and my brother and I have a closer relationship to her than him.The plan is to give her a corsage at the wedding. Now, I need to figure out how I address it to my step-mom! She’s very understanding, wouldn’t expect it, but I would hate for her to have her feelings hurt.
Post # 8
you girls are lucky in a way. It seems you have good relationships with your step-mothers & they are understanding. I don’t get along with my step-mother at all. She is rude to me and my fiance. I barely see my father, because she is controlling and dislikes us. In the beginning of thier marriage, I was polite to her and would let her berate me. However, I started arguing back when the negative comments became too much and more aimed at my fiance, and it has ruined our relaitonship in her eyes. So I don’t want to include her in my programs or invitations. An engagement announcment was in the newspaper & she flipped out because she wasn’t mentioned. However, in me and my mom’s defense, it was a form and only had mother & father. I’m pretty sure I know the answer to this, but what do you girls think of NOT including a step-parent on the invitations and only in the programs? I’m thinking of stating "with their parents" on the invitiations…but I really like the more formal way of naming my father & mother.
Post # 9
yogigal, you could just list "papa yogigal, with his wife stepmother gogogial"