(Closed) Listing your Step-Parent on the Program

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I think ettiquete-wise you’re suppossed to list her.  Would it help if you listed your mom first? 

Post # 4
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

That’s exactly what I was going to suggest…list your mom first and dad/step-mom second.  I take it your mom is not remarried?  I think it is really nice that you want to include your step-mom. 

My parents are also divorced – mom is remarried, dad’s fiancee lives with him (they might as well be married) – and it didn’t occur to me right away to include my step-mom in the planning.  I knew I would include her (and my step-father) in the program and introductions, etc. but now I am going to make more of an effort to include her in the planning and fun stuff.  What I don’t want to do is include what feels like 20 parents names on the invitations.  Luckily, I think we’re just going with "together with their parents…"

Post # 6
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I see what you’re saying…your mom doesn’t think your stepmom should even be listed in the parents section at all.  It sounds like you really want to include your stepmom but don’t want to ruffle feathers with your mom.  Do you think if you tell your mom your plan now, she’ll be over it in a few weeks for your wedding? Are you close enough with your stepmom that you can ask her for advice?

What about this:

Mom Yogigal, Mother of the Bride

Dad Yogigal and Awesomely Humble Yogigal, Father and Stepmother of the Bride

FILs – Parents of the Groom

Sorry that you’re in such a tough spot and I’m also sorry I don’t have any better advice.  

 

Post # 7
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Yogigal,

 

We’re in the exact same predictament.  I did not list my step-mom on the program for the same reasons you are concerned about.  Plus, there’s the added issue that my dad and step-mom have been separated for years.  My dad lives out of the country and my brother and I have a closer relationship to her than him.The plan is to give her a corsage at the wedding.  Now, I need to figure out how I address it to my step-mom!  She’s very understanding, wouldn’t expect it, but I would hate for her to have her feelings hurt.

Post # 8
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

you girls are lucky  in a way. It seems you have good relationships with your step-mothers & they are understanding. I don’t get along with my step-mother at all. She is rude to me and my fiance. I barely see my father, because she is controlling and dislikes us. In the beginning of thier marriage, I was polite to her and would let her berate me. However, I started arguing back when the negative comments became too much and more aimed at my fiance, and it has ruined our relaitonship in her eyes. So I don’t want to include her in my programs or invitations. An engagement announcment was in the newspaper & she flipped out because she wasn’t mentioned. However, in me and my mom’s defense, it was a form and only had mother & father. I’m pretty sure I know the answer to this, but what do you girls think of NOT including a step-parent on the invitations and only in the programs? I’m thinking of stating "with their parents" on the invitiations…but I really like the more formal way of naming my father & mother.

Post # 9
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

yogigal, you could just list "papa yogigal, with his wife stepmother gogogial"

The topic ‘Listing your Step-Parent on the Program’ is closed to new replies.

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