Weddingbee boards

Hi Catholic Bees, would like your opinions!

I really want to include a Litany of the Saints in our nuptial mass.  I was hoping that, for all of the Catholics that are attending the mass (mostly families) we would use their patron saints to the tune of Matt Maher's version of this Litany.

If not that, I wanted to ask each Catholic guest to stand, say their saint, what he/she is the patron saint of, and ask that saint to "pray for us"  We have 25 out of 100 guests that are Catholic so Im hoping this wont take too long.  My SO says that because the majority of our guests are not Catholic, they will feel very left out with all the Catholics being singled out to do this AND not being able to take communion; plus all the catholics guests and their patron saints would be listed in the program.  The community might feel very divided, so to speak.  I suggested having non-Catholics do the readings, but I guess no one would know what they are non-Catholic, lol.

Anyway, what do you guys think?  I reall want to incorporate some aspect of this into our ceremony so any advice is welcome.

 ETA: I have not talked to my Deacon about this so he even just nix it and say it's blasphemous; I think only one type of Litany is approved for use, not sure.Thanks!

@teaadntoast: sorry about that, I meant we have 100 guests but only 20 are Catholic.

I agree with your FI. Why not have just 3-4 special family members who are Catholic represent this idea that is already outlined in full in your program. Your priest can reference the program when asking these few to stand. These few can call on their saint -- you may have some repeat saints anyhow with 20 Catholic guests that would have stood to this effect. That way this portion of your mass doesn't go on too long and your guests are less likely to feel such a divide. What do you think?

@Cornflakegirl: thank you, I LOVE that idea.  It would be pulling teeth to get our little cousins to stand anyway, ha. 

I just want as many people involved in the ceremony as possible.

@teaadntoast: no no please weigh in! :)  My FI likes the musical litany much better as well since we wouldn't be singling anyone out and people have less of a chance to 'mess up" lol.

@teaadntoast: it's the one you pick at confirmation.  There are some VERY serious Catholics in our families, they will know, trust.  lol.

@crayfish:  :(  I know, and it makes me sad cause there is nothing I can do.  I am asking everyone to come up for a blessing though, if they like.

@Cornflakegirl: I agree with this. If it will already be in the program, having 20 people stand up might get a little long. Say each person takes 8-10 seconds to say their piece and sit down--the whole thing would be about 3 minutes. Which isn't long in the grand scheme of things, but for the non-Catholics it might be.

I like the idea of having it in the program and a musical litany!

ok.  FI is winning this debate, ha

@Aubergold: LOL. I like the saints idea though! A general blessing and accessible music also help to make non-Catholics feel more comfortable (at least that is what the many nonreligious folks at our wedding said to us...they liked the ceremony!). You're DC--Arlington or Washington diocese?

@MsJeep23: Thanks.  Im in Silver Spring :) which is Washington diocese, but Im getting married in Baltimore and even doing my engaged encounter in Boston; we are all over the place!

@mightywombat: thank you! :)

I'm protestant, not catholic. I would have no idea what is going on but I wouldn't necessarily feel left out. I definitely think if you include traditions specific to Catholics it would be appreciated to include something about it in the program.

I find other people's relgious customs to be interesting, but more so when they are explained so I know what's going on. We went to a temple service prior to a friend's Jewish wedding and it was very confusing since there was no one to explain it to us. I guess I am just used to getting a program like you do at church so it was befuddling and less meaningful than it could have been.

How big is your church and how are the accustics in there?  If you tried to do that in our church without giving every speaker a microphone, it would sound like this:

Individual speaker: *mumblemumblemumble*
All: Pray for us

Also, all your Catholic guests need an advance notice that this is happening. And even with that, with 20 people I can imagine a lot of "Oh, is it my turn?" going on.