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I wouldn't see a problem with having children invited to the shower but not the reception since child-less receptions tend to be formal occasions and can be an excuse for parents to enjoy a night to themselves.
I would be consistent. No children at bridal shower if you aren't planning on having them at the reception. I went to one shower that had children and it was annoying, to be quite honest. The kids were bored and ended up unwrapping all of the gifts, the Moms weren't paying attention to them, it was just chaos. Not having children at the shower sends the message "this is an adult only gig...time to look into a sitter". That way, when it comes time to send out invitations, you will be less likely to get a response card back with "5 guests attending" instead of the 2 the invite was for.
The etiquette is that anyone who gets an invitation to the shower also gets invited to the wedding. I guess it should be applied to children as well.
Some guests get a little bent out of shape when children aren't invited to a wedding. (Although I don't think I've encountered this.) I think if any of those folks are among your guests, they might be more let down, because after an invite to the shower, they probably would expect the kids to be invited to the wedding. Besides showers have to be less fun for kids than weddings. (no music and dancing for them to let off steam.)
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Hi Bees,
FI and I are not having kids at our wedding and reception. Should kids be invited to the bridal shower or should we keep consistent with not having kids so we don't send the wrong message?