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It can be very, very tempting to want to compare your lives, but the truth is that you two have such different lives that you shouldn't! I know it's hard though--when everyone I knew was engaged but me and we'd been together the longest, every single day was hard. It just plain sucks.
However, keep in mind that you'll both be happy. You'll have reasons to celebrate together! Just try to stay a little positive, because you KNOW it's coming no matter what, and you'll be with your guy no matter what.
Good luck and lots of hugs!
Just tell yourself that you're saving the best for last! Think of it as a way to not only step up as the supportive big sis, but a way for you to get your feet wet with wedding planning.
Once the hype of her engagement and wedding are over.....all eyes will then be on you. =)
I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. Try to trust your boyfriend and believe him that he is going to do right by you and he WILL propose. Try to take a step back from talking about the proposal and try to focus on other things for right now. Your sister is going to be engaged soon, and though it's going to be very difficult to be able to swallow that, make sure she doesn't know that. You never know...they could be planning to propose to you at the same time! Your dad might have let something slip that your boyfriend didn't want you to know about. So have faith in him. And be happy for your sister when it happens. B/c you might be shortly after! And how much fun will planning weddings with your sister be?? Keep your chin up and it will definitely happen sooner than you think...I promise!
I'm with laboroflove, you and your sister are two different people with two different paths to take in life. Be happy for her--and happy for yourself! You have a great guy, who you want to marry. That's awesome! I can understnad why this situation is difficult for you and it would be very easy to feel discouraged but theres nothing you can do about it so I say hold your head up high--everyone willbe just as excited for you when you get engaged! And if no one else, WE WILL BE! <3
I can understand how you feel. When I was waiting for a proposal it seemed like everyone around me was getting engaged or married. It was tough. Luckily I have 3 brothers and a sister, all of whom are in HS or middle school but I think it would be especially tough if it was my sister. So, I don't think you're being irrational. That being said, make sure you don't accidentally react to her engagement in a negative way because this is a sensitive issue and you do NOT want to cause a problem. Yikes. I'm sure your engagement is coming soon too, so don't forget to be excited for that. A guys usually doesn't act that way unless he's got something in the works. Yaaaay :)
Ugh... that SO SUCKS. It can happen from both ends too... and it happened to me! I'm the younger sister and my brother is much older than me (I'm 25 and he's 33). My FI and I started seriously talking engagement last spring (when we'd been together a bit over 2 years) and I pretty much knew that he planned to propose during a trip to Mexico we had booked for October. I didn't tell my family because I wanted it to be a surprise. My brother had been dating a girl (who was 19, so it isn't like she was in a rush to have babies or anything) for about 6-8 months, and SHOCKED everyone by proposing in late June. When I told my (now)FI that he had gotten engaged you could just SEE he was upset that my brother beat him to the punch. I felt like it really sucked because we had been together way longer, and also because in my mind we did everything 'right' (waited until we were out of school, in stable jobs, making good money). I felt like it wasn't really fair because my brother was 8 years older than me and how the heck does he decide to propose at the same time as my bf was planning to? Especially bc we are the only two kids so my parents somehow ended up with two kids 8 years apart getting married within a year of each other.
So I stewed a bit. Then I realized that I couldn't really be mad at him because he didn't know my bf was going to propose so he didn't do it on purpose (in fact, apparently when my mother told him that I got engaged he was shocked because he thought I "didn't believe in marriage"--- what?!). And although it really SUCKS that we're getting married so close there is nothing to be done about it. I did have to give up my idea of a fall wedding because they picked late August and I didn't want to be too close to them (or wait a whole extra year)... but I decided to go with winter and I'm really embracing the season.
Lots of rambling I guess but the bottom line is... life happens. As much as it sucks when things like this happen you have to realize that they didn't do it TO YOU they just did it. And in the end everyone will be married and happy and it will all be ok.
I'm sorry, I would be incredibly frustrated and upset if I was in that situation as well...But the good news is that it sounds like your BF is going to propose very soon and the second that happens, I'm willing to bet all these feelings will disappear...
So even though it's so so so hard to do, try to be happy for your sister and remind yourself that your time is coming and hopefully, once you are both engaged, it can be a great bonding experience for you and your sister to plan your weddings together!
Good luck!
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I have been reading, but not posting, just trying to remind myself other people are in the same situation of hoping and waiting.
My boyfriend and I started talking about engagement and marriage pretty seriously last summer. I was thrilled of course, but then he bought a house, obviously put a lot of money into it and just wasn't focused on the engagement. We still talked about it but he let me know it would be a few months before he could do it. He never wanted to get specific because he's traditional and wants to surprise me.
Well, neither of us are very sneaky around each other and I can tell he's getting more excited, he's asking girls about their rings, asking me questions, etc. In January before I left for a long business trip he told me he had a plan in mind and I'd just have to wait, well of course I started thinking maybe after I got home. That didn't happen, we talked about it a little, he repeated that he does have a plan and I just have to let him do it.
Since I've never seen him so serious or excited about it and he's saying soon instead of some vague down the line type of phrase I've been able to wait more patiently. We're going on a mini vacation in a couple weeks, maybe that's the plan, I really don't know but I trust him and know he just wants me to be happy.
Well last night my dad told me my little sister is getting engaged next month. He shouldn't have told me, it felt like a punch in the stomach. I know my dad had no idea it would hurt me. I foolishly told my boyfriend and he felt really weird about it but I told him please not to change his plan even if we get engaged the same weekend as them, it'll all be ok, my parents are anticipating two weddings.
I feel really awful about this, I feel like I have waited so long and hoped for so long and now I know it's happening for my sister. I am very happy for her because her boyfriend is great, they have a little girl together and have lived together for awhile. I feel weird about it and then guilty for not being 100% thrilled.
I feel like I always do the "right" thing, always try to be responsible and my boyfriend is the same way, maybe that's why it's taken him so long. I'm older, I graduated school several years ago, I have a great job, I just want to get married and start our family. They're so young and have already started their's while in college and no it wasn't responsible but the way they've handled it is very responsible. We won't live together because it's not the traditional way, so I moved back in with my parents to pay off my student loans and save for our future. My sisyer who's never had a full time job is buying a house with her guy. My boyfriend is 6 years older than my sister's boyfriend yet this young guy is stepping up.
I feel so irrational and I just had to get this out because I'm really having a hard time with it. I just can't help wishing my boyfriend hadn't put it off so long but I don't want that to take away from appreciating whatever it is he's working on. I know there's certainly nothing I can do about any of this, I just really needed to vent. It really is a strange feeling to not have any say or much say in the most important step in my life so far.