Post # 1
For those of you with a live-in fiance, how do you split up the bills?
I owned my own house before meeting my finace and had the place redone and everything is new and custom. After being engaged a year, he decided to move in with me as its closer to his job. I was okay with that. We didn’t really discuss finances and how much he would contribute. I made him well aware of the fact that it is every expensive to live in my house. Mortgage, property taxes, property insurace, etc definately add up. I had thought about getting a roomate however he said he would move in and pay me rent. Our wedding has been moved to next year, so now we are going on another year of him living with me at super low “rent”, less than what a room goes for in my area. He also contributes by doing all the grocery shopping and cooking all meals.
I am not able to save up much money because most of it goes towards my house and my bills, meanwhile he gets to save up his (he just started managing his own fincances if you read my lsat post) and so he has all this fun money. It’s not really fair to me, but then again, its my house and I dont expect him to pay towards my house. We dont have a contract in place for rent and I’m really starting to consider one since I have to kinda hint at him going to the bank and getting the “rent” money.
It’s my house and will remain my house even after marriage. I’m dead set on a prenup to make sure my goods remain mine.
Anyone else in this same predicament??
Post # 3
@LeeBee2014: FI moved in with me after 18 months of dating, so before we were engaged. He sold his house and moved into the one that I had bought and renovated before meeting him. The agreement when he moved in was that he was not my ‘housemate’ who would just pay me rent, we planned to marry so he would pay half of everything that could be considered a joint living expense. So we each paid our own cars/any student debt but mortgage, council rates, utilities, home and contents insurance, groceries etc. were split down the middle. We did this for about 18 months and then we combined all our finances so now it all comes out of the one account. I have no plans for a pre-nup though, he put the money he made from selling his house into a joint account and legally after having been de factos/paying into the home for years anyway he would be entitled to some anyway should we break up.
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
I would consider instead of “rent” that he be responsible for all of your utilities, grocery bill… things like that. That way he’s not “contributing” to the mortgage and can’t rightfulyl argue any claim.
That might end up helping you out a lot more than a “little bit” of rent.
I think the entire notion of him paying you “rent” is a bad one. I would never pay “rent” to my fiance. But I’d be more than happy to contribute by paying utilities, grocies, cooking (like yours does)… things like that. It just makes the arrangement feel warmer to me.
Post # 5
I owned my house before my SO and I met as well. He then later moved in with me. We went over all the montly bills, and divided them equally, as we both felt that was fair. My name may be on the deed, but its his home also. We take turns buying the groceries and paying when out to dinner… etc.
Post # 6
@LeeBee2014: you cover the mortgage/RE taxes/insurance, since it is your house that you chose to buy. He can cover all utilities (electric/gas/water/trash) and cable/internet in addition to groceries/household goods. He can also pay for your dates out of his budget.
Post # 7
In your situation I would probably look up market rates for what you could get for renting out a room in your area. Charge him fair market value. I would also make him pay for half of the utilities, groceries, etc. My SO and I have a joint bank account because that’s just what works for us. We already have a roommate living here who pays us rent every month, so it got annoying having separate counts and having two different people depositing money for bills into my account every month. SO and I make about the same amount, so it’s usually 50/50, but when there are times when I’m working less (like right now due to weather) we obviously both suffer.
Post # 8
I would talk to him about it and explain that since you’re both living there, you both need to contribute to household expenses. If it costs $1000 a month, you should each be contributing $500.
Post # 9
@LeeBee2014: My SO’s mother and her FI ran into this same problem. She bought a house when my SO was in high school and wanted it all in her name even though she was dating her (now) FI at the time. She wanted security for her son. He moved in and only pays rent and one utility, and it isn’t really a fair set up. Now he lives on his own and they still date, but before it really wasn’t fair.
Even if my SO owned where we live, I would still split the cost with him. Sure I’m paying half of his mortgage etc., but I also have a place to live, and would have to pay rent regardless. I think splitting things equally unless one person doesn’t have as much money is best. Honestly in our relationship it doesn’t matter who has how much money because we share all of it anyways, so it never feels like someone is contributing more or less.
Post # 10
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
I like this method:
His Income + Your Income = Total Income
His Income / Total Income = Percentage
And then that percentage is what percentage of the bills he is responsible for.
This is similar to what FI and I do. We have just bought a house together, but before that we were renting together. Right now he makes about 75% of the money, so he pays the mortgage (which includes real estate tax and insurance), and I pay for groceries and utilities. For us it’s not quite that cut & dry, because we have a joint account where we each contribute set amounts each month to cover costs, but that is basically what it amounts to.
(I should add that “utilities” only means water, gas, and electric. FI pays for internet and TV because he wanted fancier packages than I cared for).
Post # 11
@LeeBee2014: If he is living with you, he needs to pay his fair share of expenses. As other bees have suggested, look up what a room would rent for in your area. He should pay at least that and then cover half the utilities, groceries, etc. It may be your mortgage, but he is still living there. If he didn’t live with you, he would have to pay rent somewhere else.
Post # 12
I moved in with my fiance 3 years ago. He owns the house we live in. We made the agreement to split the mortgage and take turns grocery shopping, he has always covered utilities, etc. He also makes 4 times what I did, that doesn’t mean I expected him to pay for everything, but he knew what I could afford and never pressed for too much. We sit down every year and do a budget, so there aren’t any issues. If you haven’t, you might want to sit down with FI and go over the budget so he fully understands the cost of everything. Then you two can decide what a fair contribution would be. I would never say he covers utilities, you cover the house, etc. Whether or not it is “YOUR” house, he lives there equally, so costs should be divided fairly. We simply made our budget, looked at my income, and decided on a fair contribution. Hope that helps, wish you the best!
Post # 13
@Lollybags: +1 — this is exactly my situation. My FI and I both owned homes, he sold his to move into mine, and we split all the house expenses down the middle. When we get married next month, we’ll combine money.
@LeeBee2014: Getting a prenup is a personal choice and it can be smart if one partner comes into the marriage with a lot more money than the other…but even with a prenup, if some of “his” money is going toward paying for the house, he may still be entitled to some of the equity. You’ll have to talk about that with your lawyer.
Post # 14
- Wedding: June 2014 - Excalibur
I owned a home before FI and I were together. While we lived together, I sold it and bought a new home. It is in my name and all the expenses, I paid for. FI pays our cells and buys all the groceries. He gives me $80/week and I pay all the bills so I know they get paid on time and know how much they are. It about evens itself out but when property taxes, insurance and water bills come I pay them and don’t get any extra money for those bills. It works for us.
Post # 15
I had the opposite situation. I moved in with DH a few months before our wedding. He owned his condo and was renting a place with roommates so it made sense. Half of his mortgage, utilities and fees were more than what I paid in rent. So, we discussed how to split expenses. We agreed that instead of paying rent, I’d pay off my student loans, save towards us buying a bigger place, buy groceries and do the cooking. It works for us, for now and we plan ot re-evaluate in a year or so.
If what you’re doing now doesn’t work for you, talk it over with your FI to come up with a plan that is more equitable.
Post # 16
Thank you all for your reponses! Another thing I’m worried about is since the house is mine, and he is contributing to bills/”rent” does that mean he can have any claim on it? I know with the prenup it will be that anything he contrubiutes does not constitute ownership in any way. But until then, what should I do?