Post # 1
Born and raised in WI, moved to TX to be with the boyfriend’s family. He proposed in TX, and now trying to figure out where to have the wedding? Fiance has a small family of about 12(his parents never married and he isn’t close to his father) and I have about 40(my parents are married and I visit each side of the family often). His family is older, his mother and father are both diabled and in their 50’s and his gma is 80. My parents on the other hand just had two more children aged 2 and 3(yes weird gap, I have another sister who’s 23.) And my grandmother has heart problems and is 70. Both sides of our family are also not financially stable, his parents collecting SS and disability while my mother is a Stay-At-Home Mom and my dad is just bringing in enough money while my other sister is unemployed and living with my grandmother. So asking my family to come down would cost too much money and there is no way my gma can deal with the heat/humidity and asking his family to go to WI wouldn’t happen either due to finances and health. Me or the fiance can’t afford to pay $2,000 for my family to come down either and with my two young sisters traveling it would be a pain. So now what do we do? Have 2 weddings? Elope? I’m at a loss. Thank you for your help.
Post # 3
I would probably elope and then have an at-home reception, maybe with a vow renewal, in both places if travel is that difficult for both sides. Ideally it’d be nice for both families to come together, but if it can’t happen, it can’t happen. There’s no way everyone would be able to meet at a place halfway, I’m guessing?
ETA: That could get expensive, but it sounds like you have few enough people on both sides that you could get away with a smaller, less expensive reception at both places.
Post # 4
I really want to elope, but my fiance is the only child and I’m worried his mother would be upset, but then it makes me upset to think his mom gets to see me on our wedding day but my parents don’t. My mother just wants me to be happy, so she supports either decision. I don’t think meeting in between is an option either, b/c then I’d have to plan on out of state wedding and it would cost us more figuring out travel, hotel, and food. Plus, if I did two weddings in WI I could stay with family and that would cut costs plus we plan on going to WI in the summer to avoid the Texas heat. If we did it in WI my aunts said they would help out with food and suggested a potluck and a park setting, but my cousin just had a wedding 2 years ago and it cost like $8,000 and needless to say I don’t plan on paying $800 on a dress and $3,000 for food and everyone thinks I should wait to have my “dream wedding” but I just don’t think I can wait 2 more years and spend $8,000 on a wedding. Not knocking any one down, I’m just a casual low key kinda person.
Post # 5
I also say elope. Unless you have a very special attachment to TX, I think it would be unfair for either side if you had it either place. Just plan a small elopement and then do a vow renewal at a backyard reception in both places.
Post # 6
I say elope and then just have 2 parties, one in each state. A friend of mine and DH’s is from Utah and just married a girl from Lithuania. They got married at the courthouse here in England and then are having a reception in both the US and Lithuania because neither family can afford to gather in the same place.